Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?

I consider myself to be a quieter introverted person and can relate to this. I think for some people it is normal to feel drained around larger groups of people as a lot of the time they are competing to talk over one another, I find that coming back from a social gathering I need to recharge my batteries and have some alone time. 1:1 you can focus all of your energy on the person you are talking to and get to know them on a personal level without feeling over whelmed. Some people are just better at listening than talking. I know I am! I am also not a fan of small talk and you can't really get to know someone well when being in a big crowd. Don't worry you are not alone!

it could be that you are not comfortable in a crowd especially when they are mostly strangers or people you are not close with. it could also be that you are not confident enough to make yourself heard. as it can also be social anxiety. all of the above applies to me and believe me i'm a little cocky goof around my close friends and a very reserved person in a crowd. as if i have a dual personality.

You might just be an introvert, but it can also be a symptom of social anxiety. For either it’s very common to be uncomfortable in large crowds, especially when you are around people you don’t know. Yet you can be completely fine with either just a couple of people, or around people you’re close with. I am an introvert who has anxiety and I feel the same way. I’m completely fine at family get togethers, or when I am around my close friends.. but I avoid places like town, and I can’t go to things like festivals for example, because I don’t do well with crowds, especially of strangers

It appears to me you may feel some anxiety and stress when you are around a lot of people. It sounds like this could be the case because sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed when I am around big crowds of people. I believe with large crowds there is much noisier than when you are with one friend. When you are with a friend, he or she usually speaks with a lower tone of voice. Another possibility is you could possibly be setting yourself up by worrying that you will react negatively to a large group of individuals and the noise they create.

I think most of it comes down to you knowing the boundaries and limits of your friend, his humor and what kind of actions and talking topics he or she is comfortable with. With strangers at least I just can't quite point my finger at what they are like as a person, if we can connect or share similar interests and thoughts and values. Therefore I do not talk in big crowds, more than 3 persons really, because I do not want anyone to think bad of me, because I generally suffer from low self-esteem. It is worse when I know the person gets along well with my friends, because then I know I should too because we obviously are not too different from each other.

Some would point to the personality theory of extraversion introversion. Extraverts are said to get their safety and energy from large crowds. They crave the vibe of lots of people lots of personalities, sometimes attention but sometimes its just company. Introverts are said to be the opposite. Crowds exhaust them. Or make them feel uncomfortable or shy, but in small groups or one on one situations they "come out of their shells". So some people would be said to be extravert because they are loud and charismatic, but that isn't always the case. Some of us are exhausted by being by ourselves. And some of us draw energy from being with those we know very well. It is sometimes trained into us. But other times its not. My father is an extreme extravert but untheatrical, my mother is very introverted but sings and dances and makes lots of jokes. I swing between both but largely label as an extravert. These so called "labels" are great for our mental health because if you get energy from people, then the more you spend time with groups, the healthier you are feeling and vice verse.

It sounds as if you are suffering from social anxiety and that one friend acts as a crutch for you to have so that way you know that you always have someone you can talk to. It is very hard to be alone and having someone you know with you makes it a lot easier to handle. Having a friend with you can also help confidence because they know you and how you act. You are in need of someone to talk to and seem to be scared that if they are not there you will be alone and that is scary.

I'm the same way! This is a really common thing for people who are introverted and/or sensitive. I highly recommend the book Quiet by Susan Cain, it helped me understand my introversion and sensitivity a lot better as well as the ways much of society is structured to make introverts feel different or less than. Personally, I have mostly let go of being around big crowds. When I am around big crowds, I make sure to have a buddy with me so that I also have the comfort of one close person in the midst of the overwhelming chaos that is my experience of crowds.

It most probably could be because of anxiety of being in a big crowd. As i myself , have social anxiety and you are most likely shy , because of the the new faces and people you never seen before. Also your most likely to be comfortable with being yourself around your friend. This is because of you always being with them and you can act yourself in front of them , because of you personally knowing them. It’s totally normal to be shy around random people as anyone would be when being in a crowd full of strangers you don't know or know but aren’t fully comfortable with as you are being with your friend.

I experience the same thing. I'm fine when me and my girlfriend are out in public, but when I am alone my anxiety gets so high. Having something to fiddle with really helps me when I have to go grocery shopping, lists do as well. Those things give me something to focus on, rather than focusing on the crowds. It took me a long time to be able to get used to being by myself, though. So, dont feel bad if it takes you a long time to get used to it. Its a hard thing to do, but in the end it is rewarding!