The Facebook "Seen" message gives me a lot of anxiety! When I see that the person has "seen" the message, but does not reply, I start thinking about all the possible reasons why they would 'ignore' me... Does anyone else feel this? If so, how do you cope?

Yes, I think it's normal to get anxious about something like this. My mind starts to make up all these different scenarios about what they could possibly be thinking about what I said. When something like this used to happen to me, I used to just delete my message. Eventually, I started to think that even deleting it was too much effort. Now leave the message there and make the other person start our next conversation. I don't think it's worth my energy to stay hooked on a conversation they clearly weren't interested in. I don't assume the worst; I just do something else to get my mind off it.

In most times, you do not know what the person behind the screen is really doing. Perhaps they are not really ignoring you, they are probably not having the time or the energy to talk with you right now, but don't want the notification to stay there. Perhaps they had an unexpected call on the phone , or someone in real life needed them. I felt this multiple times, I was almost always sure that they are intentionally ignoring me. To calm yourself down whenever this happens, I suggest picturing in your mind a positive situation, instead of a negative one : "Perhaps they are just busy." Also, do not make text messages, or social media messages, a priority, because people are not on the phone all the time. It's impossible. Let the conversation flow naturally. When they'll come, they might tell you why they were absent or they might apologize.

Yes this is normal. That anxiety can come up when we are second guessing ourselves and feel we need some validation through others response to us. We use the world to judge and gauge where we are at. So this is normal however I do encourage you do remember that you are valid no matter how a person may respond to you. Your worth is not in others, you are worthy simply for being exactly who you are. Reminding ourselves of this when we experience this anxiety can help a lot. Work on not giving your 'power' away to anyone else but keeping your power with you. This means not allowing anyone to define your worth. Remind yourself that if someone were not to reply it could be that they are busy or not up for chatting and that it is not you. And if they are ignoring you remember that this shows a lot about themselves than it does about you.

I used to feel this on a daily basis-- with every message I sent! I think it's because there's a certian anxiety these situations give us-- they make us really anxious that something went wrong and the problem is with what we did, not vice versa. To cope, I remind myself that I'm not the problem/ the reason to why they're not answering-- maybe the person is waiting to see if I say something else, maybe they're thinking of a great reply to dazzle us, maybe something's going on at home at the moment that they've got to deal with... the possibilities are endless. And obviously, you can't just sit there thinking about all the reasons why they might not be answering. So here's the solution that sounds so easy but is actually quite the opposite: be more confident! Look, if the person doesn't answer, then okay. Whatever! It's not their responsibility to answer right away after seeing a message and it's definitely, definitely not your fault that they don't do this. (Unless you've said something highly offensive/cussed at them) It's theirs! Don't worry too much and think confidently, think about how you're not going to anxiously await a response for that one little text you sent and waste your time like that. They'll reply when they can or want to, so just let them do that and move on with other stuff!

I used to be exactly the same, wondering if i has said something wrong to a person for them to ignore me. The truth is that 90% of the time, it is the other person's problem, not our own. You see, everyone is caught up in their own life, they do not pay much attention to a message. When i came to that realization, it made me feel so much better. We can't control other perceptions of ourselves! And when we do mess up, it's a learning opportunity on what we can do better next time. Hope this helps!

Yes, I feel this most of the time. But I just think they could be in the middle of doing something and could not reply immediately. But if they don't reply after a few hours, I would accept that not all people are polite enough to reply to a facebook message and I should probably not do it again. It is hard not to take it personally but for my mental health, I would take it as a cue that maybe, they dont want to talk to me and would keep my distance. If someone does not want to talk to me, I'd probably would not want to talk to them either.

Yes, I have this aswell. If I'm chatting to someone in instagram for example, and if i've seen that they've seen the message but they aren't typing or they haven't answered me in a while. I always start worrying that did I say something bad or what's going on. But then I usually just wait and tell myself that they aren't ignoring me, they're just thinking what to say and do something to distract myself from the anxiety or I text them something that I "forgot" to send earlier, so if they see it immediately I know that they're just thinkin what to answer to me.

Yes! This is definitely a problem for overthinkers. When we don't get a response quickly, our minds start to fill in the gap or void in response with all the possibilities. I think the first thing that I have learned to do in these situations is recognize that most of the conclusions I jump to are probably not true. This is because we tend to think in terms of the worst case scenarios rather than the most realistic explanations. For example, if you saw someone didn't respond quickly, you might think: "Did I say something wrong?" "Are they angry at me?" In reality, unless you've done something to directly provoke the other person, these responses are more anxiety-based than anything. In most cases, the lag in responses is less about something wrong on our end and more about something going on with the other person. For example, they might just be busy at that moment, or not able to think up a proper response until later. I remind myself of these things constantly because it's rarely been the case that a friend has left me on "seen" and it ended up being for the reasons that my mind would jump to initially.

I feel the exact same way, I have a problem with overthinking all of the time! What helps me cope is taking a deep breath and recounting the times when I could not respond to a Facebook message right away after reading it. Sometimes it takes time for me to even think of a response, or maybe I was at work and only had time to give the message a quick look. Coming with reasonable reasons as to why I may not be able to answer a message right away eases my anxiety when I see the little "seen" message in the corner!

If it gives you a lot of anxiety, then maybe consider not using Facebook anymore. Facebook is not really that save. With all social media, you have to be really careful, who you are chatting with. Also, if something cause you this much anxiety, then why use it? Just because, some one else has Facebook, does not mean, that everyone should have it. If your not careful you could get hacked. So I would suggest, not to use Facebook or any other social media sites. With one exception, 7cups. 7cups is a great place. We have Mods, room supporters, community leaders, community managers and Admi. All have been trained. So you can trust 7cups. Also, we have trained active listeners, who can help. I hope this is helpful to you. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you have a great day, evening or morning.