The Facebook "Seen" message gives me a lot of anxiety! When I see that the person has "seen" the message, but does not reply, I start thinking about all the possible reasons why they would 'ignore' me... Does anyone else feel this? If so, how do you cope?

This is a completely understandable reaction. After talking to people about their texting behaviors, I find that most of the times when people leave you on "read" or "seen", it isn't personal. They don't purposely want to "ignore" you. For example, the conversation may have come to a gradual end, the person you are texting is busy, the person you are texting doesn't have the mental energy to text at that moment, dry texters, etc. It used to bother me a lot too, but sometimes trying to understand the second person's perspective takes the blame off of you or them and rather just the situation. With that being said, there are people who do it purposely, and it is good to have a conversation about this with them if they are close to you. If they are not close to you and continuously do this, I'd suggest to avoid spending time on someone who doesn't return your energy.

Being responded to right away for many is a sign of respect. We don't always know what the recipient of the message is doing. The recipient could be in a position where responding is not an option. Remaining calm and giving a time period, allowing the person time to reply. If it had been over 24hrs, following up with your message and finding out possibly the reason you did not receive a response right away. If your message is urgent and you are able, call the person. With several reasons as to why a person isn't responding, you never really know if its that they are just choosing not to.

Yes, I hate being left on read. You just have to check the facts of the situation and list all of the reasons possible for why they may not have responded yet. It is always better to assume the best of people and give them time to respond. If they never respond, they aren't a good friend and you deserve better. For example, the person may have read it and forgotten to respond, they may have read it and are busy and plan on responding later, they may have read it and don't feel like talking to you right now, and they may have read it and never want to talk to you. The last one is hurtful. In all of these cases, DON'T send another message. Let them come to you.

I hear you. You feel anxious when someone has read your message but chooses not to respond because you associate it with them ignoring you and being upset. That is completely valid. In fact, I experience this anxiety too. It can be scary to think of all the possibilities as to why someone did not respond to a message. Here is what I suggest: 1. Take deep breaths. In and out. It is most definitely not the end of the world. 2. Remind yourself that people get busy. Sometimes I wake up and check a message but don't reply because I'm still in bed :p ~ Things happen. 3. If you are genuinely scared something is wrong, it doesn't hurt to ask! "Hey, I see that you're reading my messages but not responding. This makes me nervous as I feel you are ignoring me." - Talking things out may help you feel a bit better. :) That's all! I wish you the best. Know that you aren't alone in this experience. Many feel the same. :)

This is really understandable, and the feeling of being ignored can be really horrible. I usually try to refrain from even checking whether they have seen the message, by distracting myself with useful tasks. It is also important to remind yourself that people interact online in different ways, and you never know what is happening on the other end of a text-it is very unlikely that the message being ignored is a reflection of you. Finally, reminding yourself that even if the person doesn't reply, things will be okay, remember that things lie this have happened before and have turned out alright, or you have got through them and you will do again!

This may be just one symptom of overthinking, your constantly feeling as though you might’ve done something wrong and wrack your brain for the answer, you may find yourself lost in thought constantly thinking and trying to reason with yourself as to why they may have left you on seen, I’ve experienced this same thing through many different things in life, the way I cope is to assure myself that I didn’t do anything wrong and that they have no reason to be upset, it can be hard for an over thinker to suppress their habits but self assurance is a good and healthy way to cope

There could be many reasons that a person doesn't reply to a message. It's hard to not take it personally but think about other possible reasons. Maybe your answer was sufficient or the person needs to to think about what you said a little longer. I know that I am guilty of reading messages and then forgetting to go back and responding to them - not because of the person who sent it because I was interrupted. Try not to assume the other person is deliberately "ignoring you" and believe that you did your best.

It sounds like you feel ignored and when people have seen your message but do not reply this heightens your anxiety. I invite you to think about the sensations and emotions you feel in that situation where you are not getting replies. What is your physiology saying to you? Is your heart racing? Are you sweating? Is it in urgent matters where you are anxious that you have no reply? Is it in non-urgent matters where you are anxious that you have no reply? It's natural to feel this way and from my own personal experience I have tried to come up with possible reasons that they will answer later. For example, they are probably just busy, they have lots of stress in their life, they are probably at work and want to text you back when there is more time. Doing that helps lessen the anxiety and can put you in a more open and positive mood. It feels a little bit "artificial" at first, but the more you do it the easier it gets. For further support please do not hesitate to reach out to one of our listeners or therapists who may have lived experience or specialize in the subject of anxiety. On our site we also have self-help exercises and mindfulness exercises available.

The ‘seen’ message is designed precisely to cause this reaction and encourage frequent use of their platforms. It’s the same on their other platforms too. Please be aware of these tricks employed by social media companies whose business it is to take and use your time so they can make money from running advertising. So yes it’s felt by others, but please don’t let it cause negative emotions. There may be many reasons why someone hasn’t replied, so please do t assume they don’t want to talk more with you. Perhaps they just didn’t have anything to say, or couldn’t say something right then.

I understand how this feels like ignoring. Maybe the technical background helps you to feel better about it? Messengers like Facebook give us the impression that the persons are right there giving us undivided attention. Text messages doesn't work like that. When you send a message the device doesn't know if the message has really been seen or read. If Facebook is left open and people are not at the computer anymore or put their device away and start doing other things, Facebook still marks that as "seen". And if they're online it doesn't mean they are necessarily available for talk. They might be busy, working on something or doing self-care. :) I hope this helps you cope.