How to stop thinking about someone who hurt you?

Remember that they hurt you and you deserve so much better than pain. Give yourself time to move on.

On my birthday last year, my only friend was supposed to come over and celebrate with me. She told me that her mom had grounded her, so she wasn't allowed to come over. I was bummed, but I knew there was nothing that I could do. Later on, I overheard her talking to her other friends, saying how she went to a party that night instead of coming to my house. She lied to me. It took me so long to get over the fact that she would rather get drunk and high than spend time with her so called "best friend". Her bad choices, however, shouldn't affect me. I am not the one who made a mistake, I am not to blame. Neither are you. That person may have hurt you, but that only reflects on them as a person. You are strong, brave, and courageous for realizing that what they have done is wrong, and for trying to get over them. I understand that it is very difficult to get over someone hurting you but, darling, you can do it. You are in control of your life, not them. Don't let them push you around anymore. You can trust your own judgement on whether they are a good person or not. Just think of all the people out there that you haven't met yet. There are so so many good people out there just waiting to meet you. You will find someone better that won't hurt you like that person did. I promise.

It can be difficult to stop thinking about someone who has hurt us, especially if there are some intense feelings involved. Sometimes we need to find a safe space and allow ourselves to feel that pain. Do we feel betrayed, angry, lonely, rejected? Those feelings are all valid, and what's more, they're all temporary. If we can label our feelings and validate them, it helps us be a friend to ourselves in a hard situation. After we have found out how we feel, we can take some deep breaths and reflect on that person. How are they different from us? How are they similar? Is it fair to say this person ultimately wants safety and happiness, just like us? What kinds of challenges does this person face? Can we empathize with their pain or their sadness? Can we genuinely make a wish for their wellbeing? It can be hard to wish someone well if they have hurt us, and we may not be able to at first. But with practice, sending compassion to all people, including those who have hurt us, helps us to heal and frees us from the cycle of dwelling on our pain.

Seems bad to me to give bad people real estate in your mind. Maybe just this realization, that you're giving them prime property, can shift it. Also, on the level of mind, what you resist persists -- so when bad thoughts come, invite them to stay, and you may find that they shortly leave you.

Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and move on with life. Do the things that we enjoy and forget that other people even exist. Do what makes you happy!

Make a list, who and what happened then make another list, what you learned and who you blame for each thing on first list, if you are at fault on anything accept your role in it, maybe you overreacted which caused a fight or you were too inexperienced to know better, come to terms with who you forgive and who you don't; lastly...this is the hard part... seek understanding from those you would trust to respond maturely by sending a message saying "I'm going through some personal resolution of past things, I feel you've hurt me in some way in the past and I am wanting to move beyond that, I do not expect a response but I feel we are both responsible for (whatever happened or just say "what happened), I learned that I (state what you learned from second list) and I'm sorry for my role I played." I did this with a long list of people that I felt hurt me years ago, I made a very very short list of 7 people that I would trust to message....3 told me off and blamed me for everything so I didn't respond to them I resolved that they would never change and I'm doing better than them, the rest, however, were positive responses and I even made a friend back after 3 years of losing them. This may not work for everyone, but it worked for me.

You could start by giving this individual space. Pray and believe that you are worth more than the treatment you got . Hang out with friends Grief if you have to

Forgive them. Learn from the experience and grow from it. Remember that you deserve to be happy. Even though someone hurt you, we are all human and we all make mistakes.

Try to focus on the things that make you feel relaxed, and love yourself more. People who hurt you don't deserve to get the better of you.

Know that they are not good for you, try to focus on the good things, and when you feel like thinking about them let it out, you can do that through writing, drawing, whatever makes you feel good. Eventually they will become a distant memory