How to forget my one-sided love?

It's a truly work on yourself. You should start appreciate and love yourself. You need to understand that you deserve all the best things in this world, all these things that make you happy. And one-sided love is not one of them. You must to find an occupation, a hobby, activity to spend your time. Find something that makes you really happy and spend all your time on it.

New Year’s Eve 2009 found me sprawled across my bed and sobbing. I had been hoping against hope for a romantic New Year’s invite from my friend Shea, who I’d been crushing on since college. I had spent the entire afternoon hanging out and chatting with him at the bar where he worked, thinking maybe, just maybe, this would be the day he revealed that he felt the same way about me. It wasn’t. So I spent the night alone, crying, and wrestling once again with the heartbreak of being rejected by someone who liked me – a lot – but not the way I wanted them to. I was in my late twenties at this point, and this was an unhappily familiar feeling. For my teens and most of my twenties, my standard romantic situation was “I’m in love with my friend, and they’re probably/definitely not interested.” If I’d been getting college credit for all those years, I’d easily have a PhD in Unrequited Love, with a specialization in How to Deal Without Ruining the Friendship. It’s simple, if not easy, to deal with feelings for someone you don’t know well. You suffer, you cry, you write poems, and then eventually you move on. When it’s someone you’re friends with, though, it gets trickier. You want them to stay in your life. You can’t always avoid seeing them while you nurse your broken heart. And because you know them better, your feelings for them have deeper roots and take longer to die down. Nothing I’ve learned over the years makes unrequited love not suck. It hurt when I was thirteen, and it hurt when I was 28. But I did learn a lot of things that made the hurt bearable, and enabled me to have relationships with the people I loved that were healthy for both of us. So here are the five things I’ve found most helpful in coping with unrequited love. 1. Allow Yourself to Grieve Unrequited love is a loss. It is normal to feel grief, anger, denial, and all the other things a person might feel after loss. Your feelings about the person you love are real, and the hopes you had had are real. In our culture, we don’t give space to mourn the loss of unrequited love. We tend to say either “Go get ‘em, try harder, your love will win out eventually!” or “Stop being pathetic and get over it.” And neither of these are healthy. If the person you love isn’t interested, continuing to pursue them is both disrespectful to them and hurtful to you, as it delays your ability to heal. But there’s nothing pathetic about feeling deep sadness when a love you feel deeply isn’t returned. It’s okay to mourn. When the person you love is a friend, the fact that they clearly like you can make it even harder to process as a loss. No matter how many times you’ve said that you accept they aren’t interested in you romantically, moments of warmth and closeness can bring the fires of hope flickering back to life. You may end up going through the grief process multiple times. I certainly have, with Shea and with many of the other friends I’ve pined for. It’s frustrating. It’s hard not to feel foolish, wrestling with the same anger and sadness you thought you’d moved past two months ago. The important thing is to remember that these feelings are normal – and healthy. They take you toward healing, even if the road seems impossibly long and twisted. 2. Pick Your Distance I’m not going to lay down rules like “You have to stop hanging out with the person you love!” or “You can only call them twice a week!” Every relationship is different, every person is different, and I can’t tell you what will work for you. What I can say is that, most of the time, it’ll be helpful to create some extra space between yourself and the person you love while you work on healing from the loss. Extra space could mean cutting in half the time you spend talking to them. It could mean taking a few weeks or even months off from seeing them at all. It could mean setting aside certain days and times where you focus on other relationships, other activities, anything but them. Pick what seems to work for you – but do something to create some space. This is extra important if you’ve been putting a lot of one-sided energy into the relationship. If you’ve been doing them a lot of favors or doing heavy emotional labor that they don’t return, this is the time to pull back on that. Yes, you’re still friends, and friends help each other out, but it’s important to separate the nice things you do for your friend from the hope that they’ll love you back if you just give enough. You can do that by being very attentive to how much energy you’re pouring into the relationship. 3. Understand What Your Brain is Doing We’ve known since the beginning of humanity that unrequited love can make you feel despondent, panicked, and obsessive. In the last few decades, neuroscience has given us a little more insight into why we feel those things. Everybody experiences love and loss a little differently. For me, for example, my feelings tend to be expressed in obsessive, intrusive thoughts rather than surging rushes of emotion or impulsive actions. But when you look at the neurobiology of lost love, you can see a lot of common threads in the thoughts, feelings, and actions that unrequited love tends to create. Saying “I can’t stop thinking about the person I love because my dopamine is high and serotonin is low” doesn’t change the reality of that feeling. The feelings are just as strong and real after we have names for the hormones that contribute to them as they were before. But knowing the biological basics can give you hope, though. I don’t know about you, but when I’m feeling something strongly, I tend to assume I will feel that way forever. I know it’s not true, but I have a hard time really believing that I’ll ever experience anything but the soul-searing pain I’m in right now. In those moments, it can be helpful to remember that my feelings are related to the surges of hormones in my brain, and that it is completely normal and expected for those hormones to show up under these circumstances. It doesn’t negate the feelings or diminish their importance. It just puts them in context. Another helpful insight that neurobiology gives us is this: Romantic, passionate love tends to burn brighter and longer when there are obstacles. In the normal run of things, in a happy and healthy relationship, the butterflies and thrills of new love will fade away in anywhere from six months to two years, with 18 months being the most typical lifespan. When our love is thwarted, though – whether it’s by external barriers or their not feeling the same way – the lifespan of the infatuation can be extended by years. So if you’ve been passionately in love with your best friend for five years, and no love in any other romantic relationship has lasted as long, that might be precisely because it’s not working out between you – not because you are special soulmates who belong together.

If you are feeling this way then you may need to sit down and talk, a relationship doesn't work if only one party is happy! It's a two sided thing and if you're not happy then let her know!

Honestly, there is no universal answer that will work for everyone. All you can do is think about that person a little less each day, miss them a little less each day, and one day -and it won't come easy and it may come in 1 week or 5 years - but one of these day, you will go an entire day without thinking of them. You won't be reminded of them by a place, a person or memory. And when that day comes, you will be completely liberated from your heartache, and you will simply forget, feel distant from the past. Take comfort in knowing that one day, someone will love you back, whole heartedly and with the can't-live without you kind of love. It will make every heartbreak, every self-doubt, every rejection worth it. There are no rules for love, no guaranteed time frame, but it will come when you least expect it.

I'm sorry to know that you've had to deal with this. But it is a part of life. Isn't it? It's better to have some experience than having nothing at all. So... To forget your one sided love, first of all don't rush your journey of moving on. Take as much time as you need. And remember moving on is never a straight graph..it's zig zag. So if you find yourself back at zero, don't stress over it. Start doing things which you like. What I do first is to delete every memory related to them. It's hard and heart wrenching.. but you need to do it to give yourself space from memories and thoughts. Take your time don't rush. And then do things which you like. Explore yourself. And if you find yourself overthinking about them(first recognize if you're overthinking about a stuff which won't create any difference or won't help you at all), tell yourself to stop or just focus on some other thing. And if you find yourself thinking about them don't torture yourself by saying you shouldn't be thinking at all. I mean they used to be a part of your life and part of your thoughts. It's ok to think about them. Accept your thoughts. Give yourself time. and trust me....it'll be better eventually. It's a journey to move on. And the results are always satisfying. So if you wanna more you can text me I can be a support in your journey.. all the best!

You need to learn that you want to be with someone who loves you back. Is there really any love there if its one sided? It should be equally distributed

if someone doesn't reciprocate their feelings of love and affection, as hard as it may be to acknowledge, just bear in mind that there really is someone out there that will genuinely love you for simply being you. you cant forget a person you love; feelings don't work like that, as they don't just go away. but it's important to stay occupied and be proactive with things that you enjoy and consider as hobbies and enjoyable activities. don't lose sight of the prettiness of the world around you, and the beauty and mystery of you discovering it.

I have not forgotten a very important one-sided love, but I have accepted it was not mutual no matter how much I obsessed or pouted. In acceptance there's memory, yes, but pain fades away and that new vacuum can be filled with loving kindness towards our hurting self. In doing so, we heal, we let go, we move on, and we prepare ourselves for loving again in the future.

From my personal experience, I can tell that one-sided love can be a painful experience. Time helped me a lot, and nowadays I don't feel that strongly about the memory of this past experience any longer.