How to trust someone again who has consistently lied?
TommyG
on
Dec 25, 2014
Alcohol/Drug Abuse Expert
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Trusting someone who has been known to lie and consistently do so is always a difficult thing to do by nature. It's difficult to do so again after losing the trust but sometimes it is necessary. A good way to gain the trust back in the relationship is to not only see them as "a liar" but as a human too and to slowly build the trust up with small things leading up to big things. This technique is called the foot in the door technique, often described as a way to persuade someone of something it is when you use something small then build it into something bigger. This works because it allows you to gauge how trust worthy they are and as you trust them with bigger things if they maintain their promise then you will know if they have changed. That's just my two cents, hope it helps someone! (:
Anonymous
on
Oct 28, 2015
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Don't. The thing about people who do things constantly is that they don't change. If someone lies to you all the time, odds are they're going to keep lying to you. Personality psychology has taught us that, although people mature, their main personalities stay fairly consistent throughout their life. Unless someone has undergone a serious, life-altering event, it's safe to assume they haven't changed. If they constantly lie, just take everything they say with a grain of salt.
Anonymous
on
May 6, 2015
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Rebuilding trust after a betrayal is one of the greatest challenges a relationship can face. When we trust someone, we’re not afraid to be goofy and quirky, and we freely share our hopes and our fears. Ultimately, it's trust that allows us to give and receive love. When trust is violated, we become self-conscious and hesitant for fear of another humiliation. But if the relationship is truly valuable and your love runs deep, trust can be re-established and relationships that survive disharmony often emerge stronger and more rewarding for the experience.
In order to regain trust in someone else, you need to heal. Quite possibly, this other person hurt you dearly. You'll want to grow from this situation by turning lemons into lemonade, but to do so, you should take a little time for yourself.
In the heat of the moment, your emotions can cloud your judgment. That means that it's hard to think straight, and you could end up saying things that aren't exactly helpful in fixing the situation. How you feel is very important, and it's a big part of regaining trust, but it's also not productive if you don't step away for a little bit.
It's going to be hard not to think about what happened, but try to. At least for a little while. Do something so engaging that you become completely enthralled in the now — go away to a cabin by the lake with your friends, go rock climbing and sweat a little, or have a great conversation with a total stranger. For the time being, forget what happened.
cosmicdreamer08
on
Feb 10, 2016
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I believe trust is to be earned and not freely given. Once that trust is broken, it can be difficult to repair. If the lying is consistent, then I'm sorry, but I believe at that point the person that lies feels comfortable breaking your trust without consequences. It would be in your best interest to let that person go. You can only do so much for someone else before they become toxic for you.
brilliantForest19
on
Nov 18, 2015
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Realise that everyone is only human. Look into their eyes, and if you see love there, do not hesitate to trust.
paracho1
on
Sep 24, 2015
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Very hard to completely trust them again. Once you or someone else lies or is caught in a lie, the is always a question mark in the other persons mind.
Anonymous
on
Sep 27, 2015
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I don't think that once trust has been broken it ever fully recovers, be it a family member or a friend. You will most probably be agitated,upset and question anything unusual that happens
Miracle
on
Jan 15, 2016
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It's hard to trust people who consistently lie but it is important to try and identify the reasons why they lied. More often than not people who lie consistently are insecure and it arises out of fear. Sometimes it's better to work on building up your relationship with them and making sure they know that you would like to be able to trust them and value them. When people lie a lot they tend to live in fear of being "found out" and rejected so maybe telling them that it's not that your upset they lied your upset that you can't trust them. It doesn't work in every case because every situation is different but more often than not if they start to trust you too then the lying will reduce.
Swifting
on
Mar 23, 2016
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When someone proves time and time again that they are untrustworthy and lies to you it would be beneficial to perhaps examine why you require that person in your life. Is it worth your time and energy to constantly prepare for when that person lets you down? Or, is it better to have a fresh start? Sometimes the answer is a little extra heartbreak now is much better than a lot more and long term heartbreak later on in life.
sankara7
on
Dec 17, 2015
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for how long and how often, if you care to tell me. and how are you related to the person who lied to you?
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