Why do I always resort to this form of coping first instead of a more healthy approach?

Probably because you have done this form of coping for such a long time, that it has become a second nature to you. You are more used to it and probably feel like it works better or faster. That makes it hard to try a new, healthier approach, even though you know that to be better for you.

Sometimes we immediately go towards the coping methods which are "easier", although not necessarily better. As much as unhealthy coping methods are not easy in the long run, in the short term they can seem easier, and we can feel automatically attracted to them to numb current pain in a quick way. And that's okay! But finding healthier coping methods is also a good step, which maybe this list could start you off :) http://sirius-project.org/2011/08/16/distractions-and-alternatives-to-self-harm/

You have become used to the coping mechanism that you have and in your mind it is helping. However if it is an unhealthy approach there are many different things that you can try. Whatever coping mechanism you have, stop yourself before you do it, punch a pillow, write your feelings down, go for a run. There are many and you can read more on the self-help guides on this website.

One way to look at this is habit -- if you've found a coping method that has helped in the past, it is more than likely you will continue to resort to this method, transforming it into a habit. Another way to understand this is through the term "learned helplessness," which states that one may become conditioned to believe they must endure some unpleasant situation, even if it is escapable.

When we are stressed and upset we tend to react rather than think. Reacting means that we tend to fall back on tried and tested methods (old habits) rather than think of a healthier approach. It takes time to change our reactions and find new healthier ways of coping with difficult emotions.

I don't know what you mean. But this helps me and others find away to connect and not be known it's

That is in the nature of human beings to cope first, instead of going the healthy and better way....

Because it's a temporary solution. You just need to recognize that whatever you're doing won't help you in the long run and if you want to get better you need to make a change.

You are used to this form of coping because it is what you are used to. The first step to helping yourself overcome these emotions is to realize it is unhealthy and begin to find a better approach before falling into old habits.