What do I say to people that ask about my scars without making them uncomfortable?
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There are several things that you can say when someone asks you about your scars depending on their age. For a child, you can make up any type of story, and they are normally satisfied with it. You can say the truth with someone who would be understanding and nonjudgmental. You also have the choice of politely telling them that you would rather not talk about it. How do these ideas sound to you?
Anonymous
October 19th, 2016 8:53am
If you feel they would feel comfortable, tell them the story.
If you feel it would make them feel uncomfortable, you can just tell them a general truth, like "Oh, it's nothing. I got it when I was a kid."
Anonymous
August 20th, 2016 3:43am
Just be honest with people, they brought it apon themselves to ask you about them therefore you should be real, if it makes them uncomfortable next t ime they will remember not to ask questions to things they shouldn't be asking..
Anonymous
June 26th, 2016 4:37am
Say to them that you've been through a lot. That in truth that you've suffered from specific things you don't want to say sothey aren't uncomfortable.
The main thing is for you to feel comfortable. If you feel as though you would like to tell someone close to you about the scars ,if they've asked, then by all means do it. And with regard to making them comfortable before you talk to them about it it might be worth just telling them it might be sensitive and asking if they are alright with it. The same goes for telling anyone else as well I suppose. Just make sure you are comfortable with telling them, you don't need to tell them about it if you don't feel like doing so, you can politely ask them to drop the subject as you do not feel comfortable. And if you do, just ask them if they are alright with talking about certain topics whatever they may be.
If you trust people you can tell them the truth. I mean, you can try to say what happened and then talk about something else or go like "but I don't do it anymore" and stuff.
Well, you don't have to say anything really, you can tell them you'd prefer not to talk about it. You have overcame an obstacle in your life, and you shouldn't worry about making them uncomfortable. If they question it in the first place, it's their fault that they get uncomfortable.
You are a warrior, those are your battle scars; don't worry about what they will think.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2016 9:04pm
Tell them that people deal with stress in different ways and that you decided to go down a more negative route that other people; it's like smoking because you cut as a release for something that has hurt you or that's bothering you and smokers smoke for the same reasons.
You don't always have to explain to people, Especially fi you think they won't understand. You can simply reply, "I don't want to talk about it". However, someimes this can make people even more curious. You could say, "I was going through a hard time and this was the way I tried to cope with it. I'm doing better now." Or you could take the humorous approach and say, "I was fighting off dragons!" It might give people a hint that you don't feel comfortable talking about it. If you believe the person may understand, you can explain to them why you harmed yourself.
Anonymous
August 17th, 2019 7:34pm
I have to cover up as a part of religion, but when my sister once saw, she asked if I had been switching again. If you're not ready to explain, you can tell a small white lie. I'm not ready yet so that's what I'm going to do, but if you would like to, explain it casually. Lots of have scars, you say yours are battle scars because they are. I would try not to make it a big deal so they don't feel uncomfortable. It's normal having scars, (a lot of people self harm too). It's ok to feel strange or awkward too. Try to do it in a way you are also comfortable. Don't stress yourself out for other's sake.
You keep your head up, shoulders straight, look them in the eye and say, "I've struggled with many things that put these scars here. I've struggled and survived."
It is always up to you to share how much or how little information you want about your battle wounds. To me, it matters more that you are comfortable with what you are sharing, than that is it comfortable for the person who has asked. If you feel comfortable telling the truth, go for it. But you never have to share what you don't want to, especially if the person is asking maliciously. However, do keep in mind, that the person may be asking out of concern for your well-being, especially if they think the scars are from self-harm or suicide attempts.
Scars remain to remind you of the strength of will you possess. Without being too discreet, you could inform your askers that you're thankful you carried yourself through your hardship(s).
Tell them the truth to why you have those scars, that's what i do and most times, people will support you after they've found out. if you get asked by a little child like i sometimes do just say you hurt yourself in an accident, they won't understand until they grow up so it's best you don't tell children the truth (you shouldn't or they'll probably tell their parents and that would cause a lot of trouble for you if their parents knew you, they wouldn't want their child knowing about self harm at the age of 5 or something)
best case scenario: don't say anything, shrug.
Anonymous
October 22nd, 2018 7:21am
Tell them honestly why you don't want it to discuss or share. Think about your good first, it would eventually be good for others as well. Those who care would understand and those who don't, you don't need to worry either. Example, usually its because you are not comfortable to discuss about it so tell them truth that you are not comfortable. Truth is truth even if its bitter. Scratching the scars only wound it more. You don't need to show it to every person. The ones who really care and understand would find it without being told and would try to heal it and not scratch it.
You can tell people, that you have been through some tough times in life and that you have come out stronger on the other side.
Some have a tendency to shy away, when it comes to hearing about other people's hardship, but if you make a point out of telling them that you are better and that you are strong, then people will most likely feel more comfortable about it - I'm not sure this is true for everyone of course, but I've seen good responses to this before. I think it does a big difference to make it short and concise, and not oversharing too much.
It really depends on how comfortable you are with the person. I have experience with people asking about self-harm scars. If you feel comfortable, or want to do so, you could tell them the truth. You could also tell them that you "went through a rough time". You are also under NO obligation to answer the person. You don't owe them anything. Scars are none of their business, unless you decide that you want to answer. It can be helpful to think up a few 'excuses' for when strangers or acquaintances ask about scars. This could be saying that your scars are stretch marks, or you have an aggressive pet. You are not obligated to give an excuse. You can stay silent. You can tell the truth every time. If the person asking you is a child, then an excuse may be best, as the truth may scare them, and not answering can just lead them to want an answer more. Whatever you decide, self-harm scars are NEVER something that people should shame you for. Scars show how strong you are, for still being here, and fighting your tough times. If anyone decides to judge you for having self-harm scars, then please don't listen to them. They don't undertstand how beautiful you are, and how courageous you must be for showing your scars, which can be terrifying to do. Stick with people who love you for who you are.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2019 6:33pm
Well, to begin, they wouldn't be asking you about it if they're uncomfortable. If someone asks you about your scars, tell them the story of how you get them, how you survived, and how your scars are proof that you're a strong person. That those scars mark the lessons you've learned throughout your life. Don't be ashamed of those scars. Be proud that you've overcome the darkest hours of your life and that you're healed. By doing that, you would become an inspiration for them. A living monument of how mankind can conquer the hardest challenges that the world can give him.
Tell them they were mistakes you made in a moment of hate or hurt if you made them on yourself.
If you were victim of something, tell them they're memories of an experience that helped you make who you are.
Deep thoughts, but they work..
Try to be honest in your own way. Tell them you went through times when you had some problems and your mind was messed up. But they don't have to worry, because you're trying to change things and you've found your way in life, or you're trying to find it, so you shouldn't be ashamed of your scars because they tell their your story and mean you have survived a very tough and hard war. (And those scars mean a lot, they include a pain, hard times but also they will always tell you that no matter through what you are going, there will always be a better time)
Anonymous
July 15th, 2016 8:38am
you can say whatever you want the way you want. there's no specific way to say something to everyone. people are different. so each one of them need a different talk. the important thing is you feel comfortable when you tell them.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2019 12:03am
I choose to tell people that my body is a book. And everything on my body, is a different chapter or story. When it comes to talking directly about self harm scars, I like to explain that they are ones my mental problems can't show on their own. On a side note I changed my self harm habit to tattoos and piercings because I felt they were a more artistic way of being able to express my mental health issues! Unfortunately, not everyone gets it. Despite all the awareness some still believe we should be locked up and rats to be tested on or at least kept away from society. But explain it in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Not everyone else!
It is up to you to decide how much information you want to share with others, especially something as personal as this. You get to decide when to share. Telling the other person you decline to answer the question is also valid and should be respected. You should not feel pressured in any way to provide an answer simply because someone is asking. Your feelings are just as important as the next person's so be sure you are comfortable before worrying about whether they are comfortable with your answer. Does this make sense to you? What are your thoughts?
One of the best things to do would be to tell them the truth. But tell them in a way that you feel is sutible. Something like a simple and basic way without going into too many details unless they ask for more than what you have told them. Make sure they understand what you are saying and answer as many questions about it as you can. If they understand it better, they may feel more comfortable around hearing about them. Especially so when it’s somwthinf they understand because you’ve explained it to them in a way they understood.
I assume that you talk about scars caused by self-harm. I think you will have to consider who the person is in your life and how much you trust this person based on past experience. You don't have to share the same answer with everyone and you don't have to make yourself vulnerable to everyone. If it's someone you don't know well or don't trust completely you might just say something like "it's something sad that happened to me and I don't like to talk about it". If it's someone you've known longer and trust more I would try something to test the water first. First just give them a little information and see how they react to that. Again, your past experience with them will be a good indicator of what you can share safely. You might start by saying something like "how well do you understand depression/anxiety" or whatever else you are struggling with in addition to your self-harm. If they react well, tell them a little more. If they react badly, just say you don't like to talk about it. You might be surprised to find that some people (even if they are few) will really be understanding and would want to support you. With that again, go slowly and tell only a little at a time. For example, if ever you need to share more graphic details with them, save that for much much later when they've already proven themselves to you. But you don't have to share anything you don't want to. It's up to you. You are in control of what you share.
Being asked about scars can be an uncomfortable and, oftentimes inappropriate situation. Sometimes people ask out of natural curiosity, other times it may be loved ones who are concerned and want to make sure you are okay. Those who ask difficult questions, often expect difficult answers. It may be helpful to analyse this and stop to think about why somebody is asking you such a personal question and what their intentions are. It is also important to note that you do not have to share anything you are not comfortable with, and it's okay to say 'Hey, I'm not wanting to talk about that'. Your body is your business. In any case, you are entitled to be as honest and to share as little or as much as you like.
based on my personal experience I always tell people the truth. I tell them that I have experienced a lot of difficulties in my life and I have found a way to overcome them. I also tell them that I am on the road to self harm recovery and that I am actively seeking better coping strategies to better my life. I tell them that I am not ashamed of my scars or burns. that they are a part of my life journey and prove how strong I am and how much I fight to stay alive. I am a warrior.
Tell them that it's okay that they asked, and that you've been through a rough patch before. If you're comfortable enough, briefly let them know why (depression, anxiety, OCD, eating disorder) but it's okay if you don't want to share that. It can be uncomfortable to talk about your mental health, and it's just as okay to tell them that it was a long time ago and you don't want to talk about it. If they seem understanding, it can be a good opportunity to ask them if they've ever had mental health issues, and turn it into a discussion rather than a confrontation.
When people point, stare at or ask about your self harm scars it’s incredibly scary and daunting to have to explain where they came from. The best way to respond is to simply say “I was dealing with a lot of things in the past but I am better nowâ€. This way it prevents the person from feeling uncomfortable as they can simply acknowledge that you are okay at this present time, and it prevents you making other excuses which are clearly not the truth. Despite all of this, it is completely up to you to respond to their questions about your scars - it’s your body and it’s more important for YOU to not be made uncomfortable by their stares or questions. Stay safe :)
Anonymous
June 21st, 2019 9:52pm
Tell them its an old thing that you are over , that should stop them from asking further questions and it will not make them feel uncomfortable either . But if you feel that you are ready to talk about it but maybe not in this certain place and time , tell them you will tell them all about it im another place im private for it would make you feel more comfortable . And if you felt like talking about it immediately just keep the conversation going and tell them the stories behind them and how it all started.
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