My best friend did suicide. He moved away 2 years ago and stopped talking. I keep thinking maybe if I kept talking, he wouldn't of done it. I feel so alone, how should I feel?
3 Answers
Last Updated: 05/21/2018 at 4:17pm
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta
Tania
Moderated by
Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy
Psychotherapist
I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 21st, 2018 6:21pm
I'm sorry about the loss of your best friend :( losing your best friend to suicide is a painful feeling and makes us think if we had ever done anything wrong that made them to do so. It depends on the reason why you guys stopped talking. But either way, I'm pretty sure you feel like so because you care and you are a great best friend! You care about your best friend and that's what making you blame yourself. There are no right or wrong answers on how you should feel. These kind of thoughts and emotions are normal. It's hard for others to actually understand but I guess it's always good to share about this instead of keeping it all inside to hurt.
I'm really very sorry for your loss. It must be really difficult and I know it can cause you a lot of mixed feelings or guilt. Remember that your friend made the decision, not you and it's not your fault. It's okay to grieve and it might take time to move on but it is possible. Grief has lot of variates. It can come as loneliness, anger, guilt... all of that. I hope you'll find someone who can guide you through this difficult times and help you to find happiness again.
There is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel. You have suffered a loss and only you can cope with that in your own way. What he may well have done or not have done isn't for me to say, a person considering completing suicide will, for a better word, attempt to complete the act, however, may be able to listen to a close friend. This, isn't to suggest that you did a "wrong" thing, but more, to advocate your thought process. But, with help/talking/listening etc, that person receiving the support needs to be ready or in a place where they are able to hear you, let alone accept their situational thoughts. Bereavement, although, a strong word -- may well be suffered by those who have had a loss, there is no way to feel, other then how you feel in the moment. Take time and be kind to yourself. You are, of course, human and need that one person, with that one ear too.
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