i have not cut in over 3 months and i got rid of all my old blades but recently i have been obsessed with getting new blades. i dont plan on using them i just feel better just having them.?

Sometimes the addiction is not to the harming itself but to the concept of it and having those resources such as blades might be a source of comfort. It'd be good to chat about it with someone you trust though and make sure they can be checking in on you.

I empathize with the feeling, I think there is some form of security that is associated with them because (at least for me) it was a coping mechanism that worked. But having them on you will just tempt you to return to old habits, and having blades on you will chip at the discipline you've built in staying clean. If it helps, I think finding alternative, less harmful items associated with this coping mechanism might be better. I wear bracelets on me 24/7 where I use to cut as a reminder not to return to old habits, instead of holding on to sharp objects.

Based on my personal experience, I would not recommend getting new blades. I can see how it would be a comfort for you, but it will also just be a bigger temptation. I highly encourage you spend the money on something else. Treat yourself to something nice, like maybe a new pair of shoes or a carton of ice cream. Something that will make you feel good that isn’t potentially dangerous to your health and well being. Think of someone who’s an alcoholic, buying a case of beer or bottle of wine “just to have” will only be a temptation for them. Even being around someone who drinks is tempting enough, yet alone having the addictive thing within your reach and possession. Congratulations on your recovery path btw!