What helped you get through losing a relationship?
7 Answers
Last Updated: 03/02/2021 at 3:36am
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta
Tania
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Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy
Psychotherapist
I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.
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Everyone isn't the same. Everyone deals with everything differently. In my case the way I got through losing a relationship was forgiveness. Regardless of who was at fault or who initiated to break the bonds between me and that person. I learned from forgiving and accepting what's said or done is much easier than dwelling on things you can't change. I don't believe in coincidences. I think everything happens for a reason. So, forgiving that person for what they've done or even forgiving yourself is what helps me. Forgiving doesn't always mean you're going to go back to how things were. It's just a way of letting your heart at ease. At least for me it is.
It can be very tough to lose a relationship, particularly if you were not the one making the decision. When I lost a very important relationship, I relied heavily on my friends. We study together, ate together, and walked to classes together. Time heals, and as I moved forward with my friends, the pain slowly subsided. Be careful not to make rash decisions when you are in a fragile and vulnerable place. Take this time to care for yourself, with the help of true friends.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2018 6:37pm
Trying different things to find myself again since I was so invested in the relationship. Also, telling myself over and over again how much I am better off without him
Hello, I’m Rhae. I just recently got out of a six month relationship with someone who ended up being very abusive emotionally and at the end physically. Getting through the lose of that relationship is still something I am currently struggling with, although it definitely makes it a lot easier knowing there are people around you to support you. I’ve taken the recently available time to focus on myself and my career choices. Having something to look forward to and knowing there are a multitude of options and opportunities out there couldn’t be more terrifying and comforting at the same time. I know I wouldn’t be doing any of what I am now or what I have planned if I was still in that relationship. I’m getting through it by looking at the bigger picture and acknowledging that some things just aren’t meant to be.
Recently, I lost a relationship with someone who I felt I had a lot of potential with. The time we had spend together was amazing, he's handsome, put-together (and a great kisser too!), but when the time came for us to back to our own countries, we realised that a long-distance relationship would not work for us.
Getting over that was actually not as hard as I thought it would be, and it was all down to a few simple tricks:
1. Remember the good times you shared and acknowledge that it was fun. Being in denial or pushing away the positives makes it more difficult to accept the fact that it's now time to move on.
2. Distract yourself in a healthy way. Take all of the frustration and disappointment and filter it into something you love! In my case, I started writing again and put more energy into my stan twitter account, which is where I vent out my feelings.
3. Talk to people! Don't shut people out just because things didn't work out in one particular relationship. Tell a friend or someone you trust about what happened and really work through and accept how you're feeling. Start meeting new people, forming new bonds and making new friends. However, it's better not to start dating again until you're 100% ready and over the person you were with previously.
4. Remember to take some time off to love yourself! In the wonderful words of our queen Miss RuPaul Andre Charles, 'if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?'
I hope these tips helped, because they work wonders for me!
Losing a relationship can be really difficult - especially when it seems to come out of the blue. When I have experienced the loss of a relationship I try to take time to grieve it. Spending time thinking or talking to someone about it does not mean that you are dwelling on the loss.. It means that you are finding your own way of closure and making sense of the situation. I had a good friend that I would talk about things with. Assess what I could have done differently and what the other person could have done differently. We talked about what worked in the relationship and how to carry that on to a new relationship. We talked about what I would be looking for in the next partner (if this loss was in a romantic sense). When you have the closure you are seeking and feel that you are now ready to move on, it will be easier.
The people around me and keeping myself insanely busy. I just recently got out of a relationship and it's been hard. Weekdays feel better than weekends because I'm busy at school and friends but on weekends I don't even have the motivation to leave my house and end up being upset. At night, I've accepted that I spend a few minutes crying or thinking about it what happened and fall asleep and it becomes repetitive. Keeping myself busy and talking to friends and family helps a lot but give time for you to grief over what happened. Everything makes the journey easier but it is still a hard process and you just have to face it to get through it.
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