My husband likes to flirt with girls on social media, that is killing me. How can I stop feeling this way?
6 Answers
Moderated by Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Updated: Mar 27, 2020
Anonymous
on
May 15, 2018
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Tell him to stop. Flirting is cheating in my book. He needs to stop because that's inappropriate. You have a right to be upset.
sarasweetie127
on
Oct 15, 2018
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Hi! It sounds like this is a really difficult situation for you. I imagine it would be a very challenging situation for a lot of people.
First, I encourage you to allow yourself to feel however you are feeling. If it it sad, be sad. If it angers you, be angry! In these types of situations it is important to honor your feelings.
Second, name some of the feelings you have, but do not try to overanalyze these feelings. For example, try to avoid start any questions you ask yourself with "why?" Ask yourself, "why do I always feel this way?" probably will not help you feel better.
Third, be kind to yourself and try to talk to yourself in the way you talk to a friend with empathy!
Fourth, I suggest that you communicate to your husband that you are upset and why you are upset (if you have not done so already). Be completely honest and don't be afraid to be vulnerable.
Fifth, ask your husband to explain the reasons that he likes to flirt with girls on social media. Relationships take compromise, negotiation, and insane amounts of empathetic, active listening. Maybe there is something else going on that he has been afraid to share with you and this is his outlet. Maybe he has a kink that he is afraid to tell you about. Or maybe he is completely out of line and out of bounds. Regardless of the reason, you two need to discuss a negotiation or termination of his flirtation with girls on social media.
Good luck and know that this community is always around to listen!
softPoetry23
on
May 20, 2018
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Hey, I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing this and are feeling really bad as a result! :( I personally don't think that you feeling this way is something that you need to change, I think you should talk about this with your husband and explain how bad this is making you feel so you can both work through it and find a solution that works for you both. :)
Raspberrycheesecake
on
May 24, 2018
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You can tell your husband to stop as it makes your feel uncomfortable and you do not like it. You could remind him that he is married and its inappropriate to flirt with other girls, whether it is online or in person.
StrRock
on
Mar 27, 2020
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I am sorry for you. You have to tell him how it makes you feel, also try to identify the cause of why he is doing that, maybe he wants to make you feel jealous, or it is just a pretext to broke up. I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago. My husband was very active on Instagram, he used to post a lot of photos. He wanted to become popular on this platform. So, a lot of girls used to write to my husband and he answered to their messages. In the beginning, I thought that is nothing serious, but then it became annoying. So, we discussed it and finally, he deleted his account. I think that in such a situation you have to discuss a lot, that's the only way to solve the problem.
CrazyCatWitch
on
Oct 4, 2018
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You shouldn't have to stop feeling the way you do because in my opinion you are completely valid in feeling this way. I would feel the same way. Tell him that it hurts you and you need him to understand how it makes you feel. If he loves you, he will listen and take your feelings into consideration. If not, then you should probably take a step back and ask yourself if this is the kind of treatment you truly deserve. No one deserves to not be treated with that level of respect in their relationship. Be strong, love â¤
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