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I can't trust my boy friend, why is this?

5 Answers
Last Updated: 09/29/2020 at 5:32pm
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Ta Tania
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Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
LadyMeow
February 3rd, 2018 2:40pm
When it comes to a healthy relationship, there has to be trust. You can’t live your life with someone when you don’t trust what they’re doing. Get to the bottom of the issue. You need to figure out what the hell is going on. Why don’t you trust him? If there was something he did, you need to get to the bottom of it. When you keep saying, “I don’t trust my boyfriend,” he had to have done something. Figure it out and solve it through communication. If they did do something wrong, you have to do some thinking on your own. Is what they did something you can forgive? Can you really overcome it in your relationship? Be honest with yourself and it will help you either trust him again or help you see that you can’t be with him. Have a real discussion about your trust issues. Talk to your partner. I know it can be difficult to open up and be vulnerable, but you have to. Tell him you don’t trust him. Let him know what’s going on in your head so he can help fix things.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2018 7:09am
It might be because of something which happened in past which broke your trust to him. It might happen due to a lot of reasons or you might not know the reason at all yet.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2018 9:12am
Trust has to be earned. For some people it is easier to trust than for others. The big question would be whether he gives you reasons to mistrust him or not. If you don't see realistic reasons, why you shouldnt trust him, it might be a sign of you beeing insecure or having a fear of loss. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. But identifying the reasons can help you to grow and become more trusting. Also if you have identified that it is you that causes some of this trust problem, it makes it easier to talk to him. He could be of great help for you.
baobabfruit
January 13th, 2020 3:44pm
This may be because of something that has happened in your past. To tap from a personal experience I would like to start with an example, when I had my first relationship I much later (several years into the relationship) found out that she had been cheating on me for many of these years. Of course this had a profound effect on me and made it hard to trust anyone else. In time however, and by being open with my current partner I was able to overcome this together with her so that these problems now no longer affect me. I'm using this example not to say that this is the same for everyone, but to encourage you to do two things. 1. To look back into the past, and look at events that may have occurred that make it difficult for you now to trust him. And 2. to be open with him, so that he might be able to help you instead of fighting something he cannot see.
sweetPeace2857
September 29th, 2020 5:32pm
Based on personal experience, if I ever didn't trust my significant other it was because I didn't feel secure enough with this person. Usually in a case like this there is a trend that occurs that makes me feel this way. The trend could be them lying to me or any red flag for that matter. Normally if you don't trust someone, however, in most cases it's because they've lied to you in the past and haven't had much to show as far as change goes. Open discussions and communication of one's feelings and thoughts goes a long way. Never shy away from communicating your feelings with your partner.