I get so defensive in response to someone else that my guard turns to anger and only gets worse. my mind floods with emotions and i hurt those close to me, I dont want to. How can i control this?

To control your emotional outbursts you can try thinking before you act upon an action and if you don't think it's a good idea you can always reconsider it and try again and repeat trial and error.

I would recommend looking into DBT for this. DBT Skills training is made up of four modules: core mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. They are designed to specifically assist individuals in better managing behaviors, emotions, and thoughts. It's awesome because it teaches you a myriad of tools and tricks to put into your day to day life for situations like this. But for an example of one of them, I would be "opposite action". So to put it simply, when you want to yell and scream, I would take a moment to breathe, like in for 4 out for 7, and then do the opposite of whatever that initial impulse is. So for instance, instead of screaming, take a beat, and then talk calmly and without your voice raised. I would also look into coping skills for your emotions flooding in. There's a really great video out there called "25 Coping Skills" by Kati Morton that you could check out for this. Best of luck, and you've got this!

It sounds very hard. Try and focus on your breathing then your emotions. Remember that you control your emotions not the other way around. Think about the ones close to you. They want to help you not hurt you. Tell them how you are feeling and what’s going through your head. If they are close to you they’ll understand and try and be supportive. Something that you may want to try is counting to 120. Once you’ve reached 120, think are you still angry? If you are then try thinking about soothing sounds. Focus on the sounds and block the outside world. I hope this answer has helped you.