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Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
Top Rated Answers
i think about all the people who will miss me and who will be hurt by my death , i think about all my dreams and the things i have not done yet
You have to distract yourself first. The longer you think of cynical thoughts like this, the more prone you are to continue this mentality. In terms of coping, distracting yourself will help you minimize and deal with any stress related to these thoughts.
You can distract yourself with literally anything (movies, books, exercising, etc.). Once you start doing something, and allow yourself to be immersed in that activity, your negative thoughts will eventually pass.
The next step to long-term elimination of these thought would be to change your mindset. You have to actively stop yourself from following this train of thought. Try catching yourself when you start thinking about death, and then immediately change it to a positive thought.
However, also be careful not to avoid this fear of death (if you have one) entirely. Sorry to be frank, but death is a reality, and is a truth that will need to be dealt with eventually, but do it in your own time.
I hope one or more of these steps helps you out!
Death is an odd subject. We must realize that we each owe a death, and that none of us are being singled out. However, we cannot use the finite amount of time we have worrying about something inevitable that we are powerless to change. If you do find yourself thinking of your own mortality, consider the billions of years before you were born. Were you in any discomfort? Conversely, would you truly want to live forever?
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 7:39am
I read a book many years ago called Staring at the Sun: Overcoming The Terror of Death, written by an atheist, which you might find helpful. It might even be at your local library. It explores how people have come to terms with this fear, and I found it comforting. Unless you are in your sixties or older, it's not developmentally appropriate for you to be comfortable with death yet. It is a scary concept. Those who say, "You won't be around, so what are you afraid of?" don't get that it's the loss of consciousness which is so frightening. Many spend their whole lives in denial.
You have your whole life to come to terms with it. When those thoughts come to you at night, say, "Yeah, someday I'm gonna die. But there's a very small chance it'll happen tonight. One step at a time." Then grab a stuffed animal.
Life really is precious. That's because it doesn't last forever. It's full of things you can and can't control. Change is the one constant.
Take care and hang in there. You'll be fine.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2016 9:53am
If you are obsessed with death you're merely existing . Do you want to exist or be living ? If you're answer is the latter (living). You have to start focusing on your purpose,things you desire and improving your intellect. Focus on self-improvement to stop thinking about death.
Start doing things for yourself, not for everyone else. When you do things to please others, it becomes a very rocky life indeed. If that person or people that you're trying to impress end up turning on you for example, you'll end up blaming yourself and you'll have no excuses for staying alive. I've heard before that clinging onto things to stay alive is wrong and it is depending on what you're clinging onto. Cling to yourself; tell yourself that you will make your life better for you. Think about everything that you've accomplished, give yourself a sense of achievement. Never give up! I started clinging onto myself and it's made me a lot better. Every person I meet, even the person behind the checkout, I always say just before I leave "Hope you have a wonderful day" and the surprised look on their faces is fabulous. Even better if you say it on the phone to a random stranger like when I've had to call up my phone provider, they usually stammer and then say you too. Haha. It's the thought that counts and that simple small act of kindness, is all it can take to make your day and their day worth while. You may never truly stop thinking about death but not feeling the need to do it 24/7 is much better than the alternative. I hope you feel better soon. When in doubt, keep smiling.
Some time in our life, we might question our purpose. When we can't find it, we go to the thought of being worthless and death itself. But look back at yourself. Look back at the people you've touched with your life. We are born for a purpose and to live. Nothing could have been the same. If you want to stop thinking of death, then go and think of life. On how wonderful it is and how precious it is. Think of it as a treasure that's too special to waste.
You can stop thinking about death by not thinking about it. Whenever the thought comes to your mind, try to divert your thinking.
Embrace it. A perfect way of doing it is by realizing how the universe works. The minute you were born, your soul was imparted with a physical body through which it could experience it's being. Every thing that you experience and want to experience is,in fact, desired by your soul. It doesn't command you to do anything; that's the job of your mind. It merely talks to you through how you feel about a person or a particular situation-hence the saying "feelings are the language of soul".
Anonymous
May 13th, 2016 2:58pm
Talk to someone about it. Go out and do something active. Play sports. Go to the store. Do yard work. When you stay active you feel happier and healthier mentally and physically.
How I stop thinking about death is by the "4 D" method: Delay, Distract, Deep breath, Drink water.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2016 2:03pm
Death is a big word. And your life is the most important and precious thing that you've got,don't lose it! Value the life you've been given.
We all face problems,some are easy to handle and some are difficult. But nothing's impossible. There should be nothing that lets you sacrifice your life. Chin up,smile. Show the world that no matter what happens,nothing is going bring you down :)
There must be reason of why you are thinking of it in the first place. Its either you are traumatized by something that happened or etc. Its good if you can find the trigger of why then deal with it to stop thinking about it.
Anonymous
April 24th, 2016 4:03pm
This might sound silly, but try and think about life. What do you want to accomplice before you die. Are there places you want to see, things you want to achieve. Death will come one day, no matter what, so it's no use spending all your time and energy thinking about something you can't change. You can however change your life, and if you're unhappy with something, that makes you think about death, well, try and change it :)
There was a time where death was on my mind daily, and it still is although not in a negative light. I used to be so afraid of "checking out" early but now after my career in senior care I have come to realize that death in and of itself is nothing to be afraid of, and is just a normal and natural part of life. Combine that idea with any religion/spiritual relation you might have and voila, there you have it.
Maybe you can prevent thinking about death by savoring each moment of your life. You should not bore yourself because it gives you time to think about things like that. Feel every moment of your life.
What we resist persists. So perhaps the answer is not to try to stop thinking about death. Perhaps we can lovingly include it in our daily concerns and awareness'. Perhaps I can recognize that when thoughts of death come to visit - instead of suppressing it - I can say thank you to the part of my mind that is showing me where I am afraid. And then like all beings that just want to be included and welcomed - I can welcome that thought too - knowing that by simply being willing to embrace the idea or welcome it as part of my awareness, won't kill me.
learn to live the way I do now, for today. Death is a scary thing & it does scare all of us. But we need to be alive now. Learn to love what we have more & learn to love now.
Surround yourself with life. Beauty is always around you. In yourself, in your friends, in your life, you just need to find it. Remember that you have meaning because if you didn't you wouldn't be here. Your all here for a reason. Never forget that.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 8:37pm
The best way to stop thinking about death is to remove it from your life. It really depends on who and how, so I would like to know more.
I think in this case it is worth examining the reasons why you believe you are thinking about death. Are you maybe struggling with the emotions associated with a recent loss, living with a terminal or life threatening illness or experiencing depression or another mental illness ? If any of these reasons are the underlying cause it is worth considering what concerns you might have about death (eg. Do you have a will ? Are there specific arrangements that you would like others to be aware of such as organ donation) once this is resolved you might feel a little less death- focused. Also it might be worth considering your own spiritual views and speaking to someone in the faith community (If fear is a factor) because often they can recommend books or verses that might help to alleviate your fear. But if these thoughts significantly impact your life it is certainly worth speaking to a healthcare proffesional too.
There are many small things in life. The smell of pie, the joy of taking a cold bath in a hot day, a good song... Personally this are the things that make me happy. The small things are the most important things :)
What exactly do you think about it? Is it about death in general or death of someone close or your death? Death is inevitable. People have outlived death by living when they were alive. Death is not something you can change so accept it and make the best of what you have -Life. Other thab that, it's a vague question and needs some specifications. Maybe chat with someone :)
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 12:53pm
Take your mind off it. Do something you love. Go to a movie. (With no deaths) or draw. Sit outside! Play sports. Live in the moment.
Anonymous
May 11th, 2016 10:02pm
No matter you situation, if you can't stop thinking about death then try and focus on everything going good for you right now on the side. Don't forget to smile when you do :) and soon you'll be thinking about how happy you might be instead.
The first step is to be at peace with it. Once you are and you accept it as a part of the human experience, your feelings towards it will be much more balanced and less intrusive.
Anonymous
May 4th, 2016 11:04pm
Start living. Death will come when it has to but worrying about it before hand would waste your time. Till death doesnt come live life
by realizing the fact that my existence is for a reason therefore thinking of death is like looking at the end of the road instead of how to walk the road first, as many people who felt lost and didn't know their right path yet , i am too, & even though that i won't & i will keep making marks of myself in the world till i find my right path to take
focus on the positive aspects of life and think about the people you love look forward to the future. if u keep your self busy you'll be able to make a difference and concentrate on the positive things.
I try to see the brighter side of things, the best I know how. By being thankful for what I have and for what will be in store for me in the near future (whatever good it may be)
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