How to deal with falling in love for your best (and straight) friend?

I’m assuming that you’re talking about sexual love. My best friend is straight, and I love him dearly, but I do not want to get naked with him. Eww. I’m also out, and have been for a long time. My answer, therefore, will be different than that of a closeted person. I’ve dealt with crushes on my friends when I was younger by dissecting the crush. What is it about this man that flips my switch? Is it physical? Is it social? Is it emotional? My next step was looking at his responses to me. Are they significantly different than his responses to other friends, or are they more special and more lover-like? Does this have a chance of going anywhere? (Most likely not, but the question should be asked.) Ultimately, I would step back a bit from this friend until the crush fever passes. If he is my best friend, I love him and care for him, and I don’t want him to be uncomfortable around me.

First think about is it truly love or fondliness because you talk everything to your friend...share your feelings. Think about if that friend thinks about you the same. If he/she has the same feelings or express it then talk about it to them. But first thinking is important because if you decide hastily it may affect your friendship with that person. Then tell the person about how you feel. If it is positive well and good. If not move on because atleast you tried. You won’t have any regrets later. What is the worst that can happen. In the end everything happens for a reason

It can be incredibly difficult to deal with having feelings for someone who is close to you, especially when you know that they don't feel the same way. Almost all queer individuals have been in that situation at one time or another, and it can be very painful emotionally. There's not just one way to deal with those feelings, nor is there a right or wrong way. You should do whatever you think is best while you work on acknowledging and accepting your feelings, as you know yourself best. The most important thing is to remember that this will pass. It may hurt like hell right now, but it will get easier. I wish you the best of luck!

Hi, I am from New Zealand, I am 12 years of age, and I am bisexual, I have struggled with this problem for around 1 and a half years. The key is to control your feelings for that person, and this is a very hard task for everyone. But that's the only way to get around it and move on in life potentially with another person who likes you the way you do. You might want to avoid their surroundings a little bit, don't back out too much, as this will tear up your relationship, be open to them about it and lower the awkwardness. Try to focus on someone else and develop close relationships with them. The more time you spend with your crush/friend, the more your feelings start to take control over you. Don't think about sexual references of any sort with them, as this will effect your sexual behavior towards them and bring down your friendship. Take your mind off of this person, and focus on the future, because you need to understand that this relationship that's on your mind will not happen. This is an unfortunate situation for people and there is pretty much nothing you can do to quickly avoid it. I hope you find this response supportive, and I wish you good luck with this person :)

Unrequited love is certainly one of the hardest thing anybody has to go through. If you're sure that they are straight there's nothing much you can do about it. Instead of keeping things bottled up and wondering about the 'what ifs' constantly, I would say just to lift the huge weight off of your chest and tell them how you feel, I understand this needs a lot of courage and it might not be reciprocated but atleast you would have put yourself out there and it will get you one step closer to moving on. Good luck, and have a nice day :)

Well first of all dont ever feel bad about yourself. Like you're gonna ruin our friendships due to my thinking. Etc. Know it's natural to like someone. Well to deal with that be honest with yourself. Keep telling yourself that it will not work out. We live in a dream world which gives us hope but makes us disappointed in the end. In such situations think practically. You can also tell your friend how you feel but only if you think they will not react Negatively. Well in the end trust your instincts. Your heart also tells you how to deal with situations. Listen to it. Use your natural ways.

That was something I experienced myself during my time in school. It is extremely tough to fall in love with your best friend especially when they are straight; this can be very challenging and emotionally intricate. Importantly, you should recognize and respect your feelings because they are simply a part of being human. You may talk to someone you trust like a counselor or confidant for assistance and a new perspective on how to handle these emotions. Nevertheless, try to maintain friendship within definite limitations which will keep it as the most valuable treasure. Besides developing yourself through self-care techniques, one needs to engage in fulfilling activities beyond the limits of friendship, something that brings joy into their lives. Nonetheless, remember that it’s natural for you to feel what you feel but also important not to forget that your friend has other sexual inclinations aside from yours so as not to ruin your relationship with him/her. Eventually, however, by cultivating some patience and self-compassion with yourself along the way, you would adjust these emotions in order to preserve your friends while still being open to chances of new loves.

Let them know you like them so then you don’t have to stress over everything. If you don’t let them know that you don’t like them you are just bottling up your emotions and feelings for your best friend and you wouldn’t know if they like you back or not. Give it a try and see if they confess back. If they don’t return the feelings, hopefully you guys can still stay as best friends. It’s okay to fear rejection, it’s a great way to move on and experience what rejection is like. Everything will be okay in the end.

It's very hard to deal with having romantic feelings for someone who you feel would never be into you. I had very strong feelings for one of my best friends and it hurt to know that they didn't want to be with me. I finally realized that I couldn't let that get in my way of having a successful and happy relationship. It hurts in the beginning but you will eventually get through it. Even if they can't be with you the way you want it doesn't mean someone else won't. Hang in there

It can be very challenging in a friendship to suppress romantic feelings. I believe especially with your best friend you can be honest. Sit down and talk that there are feelings coming up that are beyond your friendship, figure out what you two can expect from one another and how to deal with it. Maybe you need space, maybe you need some distance, maybe you don't want anything to change after all is said. Allow yourself to feel, allow your best friend to feel differently (or maybe even the same - who knows ;) ). But opening up about it gives your friend the best chance at respecting your emotions and behaving adequately

This is one of the hardest things!! I know in my life I’ve come across this hurdle more times than I can count. But most often, I find it best to be honest, as commutation is key in a healthy relationship, whether it’s platonic or not. Let them know the truth, but be willing to work through your feelings if the situation arises. I’ve found that the more honest I am with my friends, then the easier it becomes to work through the unreciprocated feelings I may have. Just know that you’re not alone! Not by a long shot.

I've been in this situation before, and it certainly is an emotional rollercoaster! You feel a whole host of emotions but likely can't share them with your crush for a number of reasons. What helped me was sitting down and looking at all the traits I was attracted to, then going from there. Was is just a physical attraction to my friend, or was this something deeper? Sometimes straight friends check all the "boxes" we look for in partners, and that can make separating our friendship and our intimate emotions far more difficult. Try not to be too hard on yourself, we can't choose who we're attracted to!

Remember that you can't change who they are more than anyone can change who you are. I know that this is a very difficult situation to be in, and many people go through this type of thing, especially as teenagers. It is not your fault, nor is it your friend's fault. However, if you aren't able to be friends with them without feeling bad yourself, you may need to consider taking some distance from your friend. Perhaps this time will enable you to move on from them, which may allow you to be friends with them again one day in a way that is healthy for you. Remember that this happens to a lot of people, so don't think that you are alone in this!

You just have to focus on what’s important. You can be in love with someone without pushing them to feel the same way and a friendship can survive romantic feelings, and can sometimes grown to incorporate those feelings into it. Anyway, it's complex territory and the fear of losing a friend because of feelings is terrifying. Just be calm and don't push them. If you love them, you should be capable of putting her feelings and her needs before yours in every possible way. That's what love is, in a way. If they don’t want it back off, try to maintain the friendship, and live with the friendship. On the other hand, instincts are very powerful. If you have feelings for a friend, at least talk them out. You never know what might happen.

Well, falling in love with a best friend is hard. It's especially harder if they are straight, and if you know they will not like you back. I fell in love with my best friend and they never knew. I couldn't bear to tell them. The easiest way to deal with this, is to try and focus on other things that make you happy. Yeah, that will be hard. I know that. You might not WANT to do anything else that makes you happy except be around them, but the more you are around them, the stronger the feelings will get. Now that doesn't mean to stop seeing them, just reason with your heart, and reason with your mind, and hopefully things will get better.

I think the best way to go about it is being honest with your best friend and expressing your feelings you have for your friend. Talking about it with your friend might be the best solution. Most at times we are scared to express our feelings because we are scared of being rejected. Things start getting awkward and the friendship is affected as a result of that. I have always believed expressing yourself and feelings and dealing with the outcome. It is always good to know how your friend also feels. If the feeling is not mutual there are alternate ways to move forward.

Ouch, I've done this before. The best thing for me was distance; don't be mean, but focus on other friends besides this one. I also questioned my feelings, as in - thought about the hard reasons I fell for her. Once you've liked someone for a while, it feels natural and you begin to forget what made you feel so strongly. Reach inside you and find those reasons, and if you have to, disprove them. It felt wrong to do, but I deeply considered her flaws and found that maybe we wouldn't be the best match after all. I would also say completely let go of the idea of you two being together. You will never be anything other than a friend to her, it's harsh but it's what you need to realize. Once you've given up on the thought, it becomes a little easier. Best of luck to you.

First of all, I would check if falling in love with her won't spoil our relationship as friends. Being friends is something that would be very important to me and I wouldn't want to lose that for anything even if it's to get with her romantically. Secondly, as a Christian, I would tell God to help me with my feelings. I wouldn't want to sin against God and fall in love with someone of the same sex. Thirdly, I would talk to her about how I am feeling and I would pay attention to what she says. As a friend she is to talk and understand me

Oh my gosh, I've done this three or four times before. I made the mistake of trying to convince the first girl to date me, even though she kept insisting she was straight. It ended up messing up our relationship, and we don't really talk anymore because everything got super awkward and she thought I was trying to push myself onto her. You can't help falling in love. You fall in love like you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once. You can't control who you love, so it's very hard to let someone go, but you just have to find a way to. It's not your fault that they are straight and you aren't. If you give it time, you'll be okay. It might not seem like it, but it gets better.

It’s hard, I won’t lie, but it’s manageable. I know that it feels as if they’re perfect, but you have to try and focus on the not-so-good things. Think about parts of them that you don’t like- hopefully you’ll start to go off them. Talk to them about it if you feel that they’ll understand, because it’s always better to have things out in the open, no matter how hard it seems. Take a step back and try to think about how important the friendship is to you. Is it worth risking your friendship to tell them how you feel? Just remember, it’s not your fault you’re falling in love with them.

This is a really difficult situation and one that always has a different answer because each situation is so unique. Keeping those feelings secret can really take a toll on your mental health, especially if the situation goes on for a long time. A common fear is that confessing these feelings will lead to your friend becoming more distant, or judging you or reacting badly. But if they are a true friend, (they might be shocked at first) but they would continue to support you and love you in a platonic way if you are happy to keep that friendship. Only you know you and your best friend best to make a decision on what to do. Wishing you all the best

This was difficult for me. The more i tried to ignore my feelings, the heavier the felt. It grew from a "butterfly feeling" to a stone in my stomach. Eventually I sat them down and opened up. I told them how long it's been a feeling for me. I told them how it was difficult to ignore it, how it was causing me pain to not address it. The listened, and were supportive. They didn't feel the same way about me, but that is not what mattered. They had noticed that i was drifting away from them, and thought they had done something wrong. They didn't want to bring it up with me, because they were worries it was something i was not comfortable speaking about. We never dated, but are still friends today.

This is such a tough thing to experience because not only are they straight they also happen to be your best friend. If it was just a crush, maybe (hopefully) it would go away eventually, but "falling in love" with them is harder, because you can't suddenly stop loving them. If you feel like they might not have a hugely negative reaction if they learnt about your feelings, it might be best to let them know. Accordingly, you two can sort out what the next best move for you is. Varies from case-to-case; maybe it's taking some time away from each other, for you to process your feelings and for them to process what they've just learnt about you. If you feel like they would have a negative reaction, it's best not to say anything. Since you've fallen in love with them, it's obvious that you care a lot about them. You could try your best to be there for them as a friend. But please remember that your feelings are important too and if the whole situation ever gets too overwhelming take some time to make yourself feel better.

We've all been there. You know it. I know it. Falling for someone who's straight is always tough. Especially if they're your best friend. I have experience dealing with falling for someone with a different sexuality. It's not always fun. But, ya know, maybe you could get them to make an exception *smirks* However, that's not super likely. Just as you would support queer people, it's important to support someone for being straight. If they're your best friend and don't share the same feelings for you, it's best to work on moving on. The relationship you two have is very special. Unless it's becoming damaging for you, try to keep that friendship and learn to find romantic love in others. Good luck, my love birds!

This can be a very confusing thing to experience. You go through a myriad of emotions and thoughts all at once - and it can be very stressful. But there are at least few things we can do to try and figure out what we are thinking. We can list literally anything we feel - writing down thoughts helps us gain clarity on a particular subject. The next step is trying to figure out WHY we feel a particular way. Then we can go about figuring out where we stand, and really observe ourselves minutely. Once we are sure what we feel, we might consider talking to that friend. This may seem daunting, but if that person is your best friend, there is a high chance that he/she/they will understand your situation. While doing all this, we must remember that this is a completely normal thing to feel and there is no need to feel any kind of guilt about it. Good day, guys :)

Falling for someone who you are not only closely bonded to, but who also does not share your sexual orientation, can be frustrating and confusing. If you know for a fact that you are not a member of their preferred sex, it is best to first acknowledge that a relationship is not feasible. Secondly, you should approach the situation in a way which best meets your needs as a person. If you have platonic love for them, and can cope with these feeling without verbalizing them or acting on them, then you can maintain the friendship. This route is also more manageable by opening up to another LGBTQIA+ member who can keep your feelings in confidentiality, and perhaps relate to you. Alternatively, if you feel that it is nearly unbearable to continue with these unspoken feelings while being so close with them, perhaps talking with them about your feelings and your need for distance would be helpful. Only do this if they can be trusted to not have a negative reaction.

If you know for sure that your friend is straight, and nothing can happen between the two of you then it is important to ask yourself what would happen if you did confront your friend about it, and how would that effect your relationship. Loving someone so much and not being able to express that is a difficult feeling to deal with but if your friend is straight, they could get a little freaked out or not care at all. Someone's reaction totally depends on that person. Sometimes it is necessary to give yourself a little space from that person if being around them is hurting you, because involving them more and more into your life might not be helpful. This is a really difficult topic, and it really just depends on the person you're in love with and what you're looking for out of the relationship.