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Why do I want bad things to happen to me?

108 Answers
Last Updated: 06/04/2022 at 11:57pm
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
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Brenda King, PsyD

Psychologist

I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
Cryptidchild
November 22nd, 2017 7:54pm
Honestly? I'm asking this question to myself over and over again, yet I don't have answer that would make sense. Every human being is different and therefore their reasons are different.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2017 10:03pm
Your going through something that you need to talk to a close friend, or relative about. Or even a thereapist.
mcstar
November 26th, 2017 9:21am
Because bad things help you grow and builds your strength. As the famous adage goes, "Experience is the best teacher." Experiencing bad things allows you to learn things that will help other people that will experience the same situation. Who knows, you might experience it again, but since you learned how to brave it, you will be able to brave it again and again.
Emily619
December 7th, 2017 9:42pm
Oftentimes, when people are at a mental low, they may wish negative events upon them to lessen their mental load and take their mind off of what's bothering them. However, it can often result in even worse outcomes because it is only bad events stacked on top of bad events.
ConsolingPenguin
December 14th, 2017 11:55pm
Because it may be what you think you deserve. When you have low self-esteem, you have low self-respect. Imagine saying and doing the stuff you believe should be happening to yourself to a close friend or small animal. Would you do it? Or try looking in the mirror and saying one positive thing about yourself each day. No repeats! You can't look in the mirror and see good when you expect to see bad.
Anonymous
January 13th, 2018 2:41am
I don't know why but you cant help it and sometimes you sabotage yourself. But the only thing one can do is realize, it's very difficult to get back on the right track but only we can help yourself in these cases. I know cause I go through the same thing, I try my best to set everything but then I am back to square one. I just don't give up. I suggest the same!
ElegantUnicorn01
January 20th, 2018 3:13pm
It's always sad to hear when someone says this. One may have low self-worth, and thus feel that they deserve to receive poor treatment. Perhaps one feels that they deserve to be punished for something they have done wrong, no matter how small or insignificant it actually was. Having low self worth/esteem and punishing oneself creates an ongoing cycle that needs to be broken to be resolved. Either way, it generally boils down to low self-esteem and self-worth.
MonicaQu
February 3rd, 2018 5:59am
You might want bad things to happen maybe because you feel guilty about something and feel you don't deserve good to happen.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2018 2:59pm
I would if I felt guilty over something or felt worthless. You can always open up with a listener. Mistakes is something we can't avoid as humans. And if feeling worthless. What makes you feel this way? Every person is special and every life more precious than gold.
Anonymous
March 7th, 2018 7:38pm
probably cuz all u want is pain and suffering, u may think that u deserve bad things to happen to u when u dont, no one does, its ok in some ways but u dont deserve to be in pain every single day of ur life, u should be free and happy - that may not make sense sorry
Engineeringhappiness
March 9th, 2018 9:00am
because you cant remember how good somethings were... thats why you need to focus on what makes you happy and work towards it
Demons3
April 4th, 2018 3:43am
When you desire to have bad things happen to yourself I often find that it is do to feelings of guilt, depression, or PTSD. Dont panic it is completely normal. However, if you are having the urge to act on those things then I highly suggest you see a professional or tell someone you trust.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2018 4:14am
Maybe you think you deserve it. You blame yourself for something and you think you deserve pain. That’s not true though don’t beat yourself up over stuff.
rebecca947
April 28th, 2018 11:10am
We might feel really bad about ourselves, and maybe it’s a passive way of thinking of death or intentionally hurting ourselves. It really depends on you and the situation and how you feel- maybe you want to be cared for more and shown more love by people, and we think we could get that from having something bad happen to us.
Anonymous
May 4th, 2018 4:04pm
Because people think that they’re not worth it, that they shouldn’t have born, that they are a waste of oxygen and space
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 8:43pm
To get attention? Not in a bad way. I have personal experience with wanting something bad to happen to me so I would be more interesting and I could get attention from people.
ZoeeyGayglass
June 6th, 2018 7:43pm
This is a lot more common than you think. In a sense we all play around with catastrophy as a concept. Sometimes just to entertain us, sometimes to try and predict possible disasters and try and present them, and sometimes to fulfill a subconscious processing of our mortality. The trick comes in when you want them to happen. This could be that you are frustrated some situation and have an extreme desire to disrupt the course things are heading in. When that want turns into destructive action, it is best to consult a mental health practitioner as soon as possible because there might be a mental health issue causing this.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2018 6:23pm
I never want anything bad to happen to me, but i guess at times bad things do happen to me. At times i am the one at fault and i accept my mistakes, learn from them and make sure that the same scenario doesnt occur in the future
hopefulParadise73
August 2nd, 2018 12:08pm
Maybe because you see it as the only solution to your problems and give you temporarily a way out.But its not the solution
BlankK0
August 16th, 2018 11:25am
Because you may be feeling like you're worthless and a nobody in the world but you are really so much more than nothing. A little bug is nothing you're a beautiful person with a lot of potential for good things to happen to you in the future and I hope they do but as for wanting bad things to happen I think you don't love yourself and you need to learn how to love yourself in order to good things to happen to you and be satisfied with the future and what will come in it and I hope you learn to love yourself.
DipityEnigma
September 1st, 2018 8:07pm
It's difficult to answer to an extent but from my experience, people who want bad things to happen to them often feel this way because they've been made to feel like that. Perhaps you've been told bad things and you now feel like you don't deserve positive things in life, you only deserve the negative. It hard to comment without further information but it could be due to low self-esteem and perhaps a negative upbringing or even negative surroundings. If you're afraid something bad will happen to you or you will deliberately cause something bad happening to you, I would highly recommend seeing a health professional such as a GP before anything does physically happen. I hope this helps.
Anonymous
November 8th, 2018 7:52am
A lot of times I want bad things to happen is because a lot of times I have no self care and just dont care at all. I'm careless sometimes, And a lot of times I dont care. About anything, It always seems like I'm being pushed under this big plate of carelessness and once I'm under there its almost Impossible to get out, I have slowly leaned (Mostly on the Awesome Website) That there are people who care about you, And want you to stay safe. I am safe and healthy, I do care about myself and I'm happy to help others!
jkimz
March 7th, 2019 8:22am
Animals create environments that are familiar to them. Humans are not the exception. Whether we like it or not, we as humans adapt to our environment and everything inside--the people, the events, our interactions, how we feel in our environment, etc. So when we adapt to a bad place and are stuck for a long time, we naturally create an environment familiar and similar to before. We are comfortable there. We are comfortable being depressed, self-deprecating, self-blaming. Over time we get to a point where we are waiting for bad things to happen so that we can return to our comfort zone of thinking “of course bad things happen to me”.
hunnyxo
March 28th, 2019 8:44pm
A desire for bad things happening to you shows you are sincerely suffering and it can be seen as a form of self-punishment for something bad you may have done to something or someone, such thoughts can be very destructive as an eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind. If you're feeling as if you want bad things to happen to you, it'd be great to start with asking yourself what has driven you to have these thoughts? Consider every aspect, such as what the result would be. Rather than having thoughts of wanting something bad to happen to you, it'd be more helpful confronting the situation and forgiving yourself. You suffering does not balance any wrongs that you have done in life, we're all human and sometimes we seem to forget that we are allowed to make mistakes because we are not perfect.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2019 2:53pm
Because I deserve it after what I did to others. I am ashamed of myself for what I did and no one else deserves something as bad as me. I don’t know how I did it, or why I did but I do know that I deserve something bad for it. To the person who I did it to, might haven’t experienced it like that but I do. People can tell me it wasn’t my fault as many times as they want too, and I’ll say I know, but deep down I do blame myself for it. And to be honest, I don’t know how to stop blaming myself.
Jessie714
July 31st, 2019 9:43am
I used to feel this way. For me, it was because bad things had happened to me before, and the consequences of these (eg, sadness) felt comfortable and normal. Also, because those bad things caused me to have depression, I kept feeling sad, even when those bad things had gone away. I felt guilty for feeling like this for no reason, so kind of wanted something to expain these feelings. Also, it is normal for people to enjoy attention because it makes us feel cared for, and bad things can often lead to attention, and people showing their love and affection for us, which feels good.
Anonymous
September 4th, 2019 9:04am
Maybe you feel that you deserve it? Best to find out what is the underlining issue that makes you feel like you deserve bad things to happen to you. And to face it one step at a time. Always know that no one deserves bad things happening to them, but no one can avoid them either. Take the bad things as a lesson and learn from them, thats the best way to treat a bad thing positively.
WendinCaring
December 21st, 2019 10:23pm
I think deep down inside most of us feel that we are not worthy. It is hard to explain why we feel that way. There is something to do with the society we live in and the family and culture that we are from. But all in all, I find it normal to have this kind of thinking. However, if you find out that you are doing things to yourself to gain attention, like purposely hurting yourself to the point of needing medical attention, then you will have crossed a line. That is when you need to seek professional help.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2020 2:02am
i used to question that alot when i was younger, i wanted bad things to happen to me so i can feel important, i feel like thats pretty twisted to want to be hurt by someone or have something or someone do something horrible to to you, whether physical, verbal or emotional. im thinking it must stem from a fear of self worth or a cry for attention (not in a bad way) but wanting that affection from someone or others you most crave. like, if that happened to me, people would start to care, start to check in on me, ask me how im doing. but then its something in your head you have to fight, deep down you dont want to be hurt, deep down its wrong to want bad things to happen to you. you should want good things to happen to. thats why i think that, its something to work towards everyday. i want this (good thing) to happen and make it happen. but i would really focus on finding someone you can confide in to express these feelings, dont bottle them up and hide and do something dangerous and secretive and put yourself at risk. speak to someone.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2020 8:30am
sometimes we feel as like we 'deserve it' and practice mortification because 1) others have always told us to hurt ourselves 2) we have been wrongly informed that mortification actually has benefits Bad things do not lead us to better places. There may have been poor representation (example, breaking glass, or a mug releases anger - it does not) in the past, which may have misinformed. Also, faster, quicker methods are always used as short term solutions and often advertised. They do little good and while may seem like a 'quick release', does not actually have any long term benefits at all.