Why do some people not like to be hugged or to hug?
4 Answers
Last Updated: 04/26/2022 at 3:47pm
Moderated by
Polly Letsch, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.
Top Rated Answers
Some people may not want to be hugged for various reasons. More recently is because of the pandemic but besides the pandemic, some people may not want germs around them period so they refrain from getting close to other people. Some people may have a past trauma that included being touched without their permission so now they choose to not allow people to hug them. It all comes down to personal space and respecting people’s boundaries. We all have boundaries and that is perfectly normal. Which is why I always ask people if I can hug them before attempting to do so.
Some people can be sensitive to touch - due to past experience or just simply because they don't like being touched. And for people who do not like to be touched a hug can feel restrictive and trapping - it's very hard to escape from a hug. Whatever the reason may be - it's best to just respect that some people don't like being hugged and always ask before you hug / touch them.
I know this answer is a little nonsensical but that's the best way I can explain why some people don't like being hugged.
Love, Kit. xx
When I'm in a good place I'm always up for a hug or physical contact if it feels safe and appropriate, but there are times, especially when I'm feeling frightened or sensitive that contact feels frightening and/or inappropriate. It's not always easy to tell if someone feels ok with physical contact, or even what type of physical contact, so with hugging - I always ask. Most of the time I get it right, and people are really receptive, but sometimes people aren't in the right space for that, and that's ok. Touch is so powerful and can instantly transform a relationship, either for the better or for the worse, so it's always good to honour the power that it has and use it thoughtfully.
Hugging can be a very intimate form of body contact. For some people, having someone as near to them might feel like an invasion of personal space, maybe they dislike having someone so close to them and feeling/smelling the other person. Another major thing is that someone might only like hugging people they are really close to such as family members, good friends or romantic interests. Not all people are comfortable with those quick "hi" and "goodbye" hugs and instead might prefer hugs to mean something or only hug when upset, etc. There is a variety of reasons and a person who dislikes hugging can probably tell you why they do so if they are comfortable with telling you.
Also: CONSENT!
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