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Whats the best way to forget painful memories and a person who hurt me?

Profile: PrivatePillow
PrivatePillow on May 2, 2015
Forgiveness Expert
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The first step is acceptance of what happenned. If you shut yourself down and what you're feeling, you won't be able to move on. Forgetting memories can be though and it won't happen overnight but it is possible to overcome the pain the this person inflicted on you. If you need further help, you can always message me, I'll do my best to help.
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Profile: EmpatheticEar
EmpatheticEar on Dec 17, 2014
Forgiveness Expert
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Sever contact with them. No checking their Facebook or Twitter posts. No calling or texting them. No Googling them. Don't give them the time of day. Put your energy and thoughts into other things and worthwhile activities. Let yourself grieve and cope a little. Deal with in a healthy way- writing, talking, painting, drawing, exercise, etc., and then do your best every day to move on. Create new, happy, positive memories in your life that will hopefully start to replace or overpower those painful ones.
Profile: SweetMango111
SweetMango111 on Oct 3, 2016
Forgiveness Expert
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Whats the best way to forget....? People tend to think that, there has to be a certain method or technique for doing something especially when it comes to emotions and what we feel inside. We try to, lets say, ''fix'' this problem by doing something in the physical world. We are trying to tighten a screw on the outside when the ''fixing'' needs to be done on the inside. There are no screws on the inside. We do not forget, we instead move on from the horrible experience that happened to us. The problem comes when we think. We start exaggerating the thoughts, and these thoughts begin to manifest the more you think, and the worst part is that you start creating feelings and emotions based on these thoughts that you have created which feels real. Does the situation exist? Is it real? Or is it the past? Is it something that has happened to you but you keep remembering it consciously? Everything that has happened to us should not be forgotten, instead should be realised that these are experiences, from which many people go through their own problems. These things that happen, whether good or bad, are out of control. Can you control when something good or bad will happen to you? can you? The only thing in control on this planet and even universe is You. You can react in a certain way and feel a certain way simply by being conscious of yourself and aware of your surroundings. Accepting that everything outside you is out of your control is key, it is, so to say, the first step to moving on. Forgiving the person who has done the harm to you, whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually is the process of letting go. Now many people say: ''There is no way I can forgive him after what he has done to me!''. But people do not understand that, forgiveness has nothing to do about the other person. Does it? Does forgiveness affect the other person in any way? Forgiveness is setting yourself free from the burden that the other person carries, you do it because you want to move on. You hold onto the memory(which is the past, it does not exist anymore) of the pain and manifest it into reality because you were hurt and do not understand why. Do you know how your thyroid gland works? Will your thyroid gland stop working if you dont understand it? I sure hope it doesnt because that would be a disaster. Your understanding of something does not change how it works. Your thyroid gland does not work any better than a doctors. Understanding is not important because, understanding - why this - or -why that- will not solve the situation. Your intentions within yourself and willingness to move on from the pain does, and forgiveness is important because you set yourself free from the pain which has happened and being continuously remembered. After all, it is the problems that make you grow into a stronger person, not the easy ones. So learn from these experiences and let go of all suffering. Joy is a natural phenomenon. Misery is your creation.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Dec 28, 2014
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From personal experience I believe the best way to forget painful memories and the person who hurt you is to learn how to focus and live in the present. These painful memories are only hurtful because they remind us of the past and what cannot be changed. So live in the present!
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Dec 22, 2014
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You have to consider the possibility there’s a greater sense of happiness in completely releasing your story.That you’d feel better than you can even imagine if you’d stop letting your pain define you. If you want to feel and be peaceful and happy, start by identifying what that looks like—what you think about, what you feel, what you do, how you interact with people.
Profile: holdonhope
holdonhope on Dec 8, 2014
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I write about it in my journal. Expressing it in words as a letter, poem or even a short story helps me release suppressed feelings.
Profile: AliciaJ
AliciaJ on Feb 23, 2016
Forgiveness Expert
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Just because they've hurt you and you've had painful memories together, doesn't mean that you deserve to be hurt and treated badly. No one deserves to be treated as someone less than a human. If he/she doesn't love you like how you should be love, remember that you still have family and friends to love and nurture you. Learn to love yourself by staying busy and keeping your life organised, full of little rewarding things (like going out for tea, going shopping, picking up a new hobby). You will never truly "forget" the hurtful days, but there will be one day when you'll shine through the dark days and not be dragged down by them. Learn from the past and be thankful -- it's the best you can do.
Profile: BrittW182
BrittW182 on Dec 7, 2014
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Create new memories! I had a bad experience with an ex boyfriend and I found myself struggling for many months to move on. But after a while I embraced new friends, tried new things and soon I had so many great new memories, the pain faded away!
Profile: fixyou
fixyou on Nov 27, 2014
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It might take a long time to accomplish that but in the end you will have to forgive them and move on
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Feb 15, 2016
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Focus on present and cherish the people you have at present.. give all the love and care you hold to the people you have in your life..
Profile: AngelSapphire
AngelSapphire on Sep 11, 2017
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The best way to forget painful memories is to think of the happy memories you've made together with that person.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Sep 1, 2015
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Accepting them and letting them go through you completely. Without resistance.Sometimes forgiving the person who let it happen.
Profile: enigmatix
enigmatix on Jan 7, 2015
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I've found that the best way to do this is to distract yourself by doing something you're interested in. That way, you spend lesser time thinking about these painful occurrences. Practicing various relaxation techniques helps remain calm as well. Talking to someone about the experiences helps relieve some of the emotional burden and having some support helps the healing process. In the end, it's just time and a gradual acceptance of what has happened. If it seems like this is causing a lot of distress and interfering with daily life, it's advisable to see a counselor.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Sep 18, 2015
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I am going through this right now; and the way I am coping is taking it a day at a time... Also, remembering the good times...when I am angry- before I used to find fault in myself and hate myself...but now I am slowly realising that he really does NOT deserve this love I have for him...I also take note that I am not the only person who is so unfortunate; even some celebs and people who seem to have it all are sometimes unlucky in love... Even sharing these feelings seems to be helping me... =)
Profile: ASmileisAllitTakes
ASmileisAllitTakes on Apr 16, 2018
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Not to let that person dictate your future, to prove to them that there control over you is no longer present. Truth is the memories will always be a part of who we are and we should take those memories and try and become stronger, use them to create something new and beautiful. By doing this we can take something negative and make it positive and profound. This is how you turn a painful memory into something else.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Apr 13, 2020
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The best way to forget painful memories and the person who hurt you is to focus on yourself. Get a new hobby, do things that make you feel good about yourself! When doing that, you will not only forget about the painful memories or that person, but also make new ones that make you smile! Another thing you can do is talk it out with someone. Whether it be a family member, friend or even here, on 7 cups! We're all here to listen and comfort you! Talking it out with another person will not only make you feel better but also take a load off your mind and chest. I hope this helps! Have a great day :-)
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Nov 24, 2014
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Start seeing beauty in the things you have in life and appreciate what you have and the people you have in your life who still care for you.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Apr 27, 2015
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First, accept the situation. It already happened and we can do nothing about it. Always fill your thoughts with positive things. Be with company that makes you happy and those who helps you forget about the past.
Profile: Greatlistener87
Greatlistener87 on Mar 22, 2016
Forgiveness Expert
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The best way is to let go of what you can't change and move forward knowing that u learnt something out of the situation and have become wiser.
Profile: StandUp
StandUp on Apr 26, 2016
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Make new memories and find someone who heals you
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