Why is my teen daughter only mean to me? It really hurts when I see how sweet and well mannered she acts towards other people, then she will turn around and be rude and just so unkind to me.

For me personally it hurts to read this because I’m exactly like that to my mom. Our personalities are so different yet the same at the same time, but we clash non stop. I’m not as kind to my mother because of an answer I’m still searching for. I don’t really know why I do it despite the personality dilemma, it could be because she’s not as understanding and doesn’t show the best empathy, or it’s because I feel like she doesn’t care as much. I feel you should maybe look at how you are treating your daughter yourself. Obviously I don’t know the whole story to this, but sometimes it’s about we aren’t doing. Ask yourself, do you think there is something you could do to help her change her behavior? It could be giving her more space or maybe being there more for her. Whatever it is, try talking to her. Ask her why she’s acting this way. Now she probably won’t have an answer herself but give her plenty of patience. It’s possible she doesn’t even want to treat you this way but she can’t really help it. As I always say, communication is key.

i once heard that being mean is a protective way to other people so that you push the person away before he pushes you first but that is only one idea and maybe she is having some problems and she is mean only to you because she is familiar to you and she cant be mean to strangers like maybe she wants attention but honest attention and you are her mother so you are the best person to want attention from . anyway i cant tell what is on her mind but try not to blame yourself and see if she is facing problems

Oftentimes (especially with young people), we can find ourselves being cruel to people with whom with are most familiar while being polite to people we know a little less. For example, without conscious effort and reflection, we might find ourselves being short-tempered with our spouse while being professional and courteous towards our bosses or colleagues. Outside influences often play into this as well: kids who see friends or people online disrespect their parents often might subconsciously pick this up as well. In addition, this is the age where children start to see their parents as more human (as opposed to placing them on a pedestal) - mistakes that parents make, even small ones, stand out much more, and sometimes the kid has not learned the value and skills of patience and forgiveness for everybody (including people they may take for granted). The result is that children can oftentimes be cruel to their family members (parents, siblings, etc.) while being nice to friends, classmates, and teachers.