Am I allowed to still be in love with my abuser?

This is such a nuanced situation to be in. Your feelings are always valid. However, it might be worth exploring if what you feel is love or a coping mechanism to assuage guilt and societal expectations. If you say they have abused you, you need to first be in a position where that will not happen. Being abused means some vulnerability of yours was exploited and you were taken advantage of. In the outside world, there are laws against people in power forming intimate relationships with the people they have power over. This is to protect vulnerable people from this exact situation. You sound like you would greatly benefit from some distance and perspective on the situation.

All feelings are legitimate. However, you owe yourself a path to a healthy and safe life, and it's important to ask yourself how these feelings can stand in your way on this path. Try to process these feelings, see where they come from, if this persone truly deserves it. Moving past your abuser can be hard, so don't be afraid to ask for support from friends, but also organizations that support victims of abuse through psychological support. Whatever happens, your safety and peace are your priority.

There are no rules when it comes to abuse or even to love. You are allowed to feel whatever you are feeling. Does it mean that it is healthy or what is considered normal to others, no. But nobody on this planet has the right to tell you what you can and can't feel. Of course you love them, I am certain that there was not only abuse but also good memories and moments with your abuser. You have to process your emotions and you are entitled to feel the way you do. I hope that things work out for you and that you can find some type of peace with it all.