What is the best way to stop others (especially close friends or relatives) from emotional blackmailing you?
10 Answers
Last Updated: 06/29/2020 at 9:37pm
Moderated by
Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2015 9:54pm
Never let anyone define who you are. Do not be completely dependent on someone. Be within limits to protect yourself.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2015 8:35pm
If they are blackmailing you in anyway or sort then you are better to not have that person in your life.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2015 6:52pm
First we have to know and accept that they are emotionally blackmailing and then we need to know that it is not right and it has to stop to start with, we have to make our mind up that it has to stop. we have to then let them know that it is not going to work and they are better of stopping or you will have to stop them .
Just block them! and never response! show them that you not care! they will stop at some point believe me!
You need to respect yourself and your own emotions, because they are not less valuable or less important than someone else's. Especially not when they are using you. We should not accept to be treated this way. It is scary and sometimes we are afraid of the outcome when we say no. Allowing yourself to be used is however a long term abuse that you don't deserve, ever.
Tell them that if they really care about you then they wouldnt hold things against you and that you wll lose any trust you have in them and ruin the relationship
While you can't stop them from attempting to do this to you, you can make the choice to ignore it or pay attention to it. People who engage in this sort of behavior towards others can essentially be labeled as a bully. Bully's thrive on attention and know that their attempts to hurt you are negatively affecting you. If you ignore them, you are essentially telling them that their attempts to affect you and your emotions aren't working and they will eventually lose interest and stop. If it is a more serious issue, you can always reach out to us at 7 Cups and chat with a live listener to help ease some of the emotions and tension you are feeling.
If someone is trying to emotionally blackmail you, you should distance yourself from them. If you cannot do that, remind them that you trust them and they should respect your emotions and boundaries.
I belive the best away to stop others from emotionally blackmailing me is to be assertive with my feelings. Being vocal and clear about my stance on a decision I have made, whether my close friend or relative is happy about that decision or not, is important. It sets a tone in the relationship that I am independent and in control of my own life.
I think that the best way to stop others from blackmailing you is to express your feelings in a vulnerable, direct and completely honest way. Like "This isn't working for me, I need to put a boundary in place and I need you to respect it". You have to express your needs, what the boundary is here to protect, and make sure that the person actually respects your needs and the boundary. We often assume that others can read our minds and automatically know when they make us uncomfortable, but a lot of the time that is not the case. Of course, if the person repeatedly overlooks your needs, you have to take some distance from them.
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