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How to get my parents to stand up for me against bullies instead of apologizing to avoid any confrontation?

81 Answers
Last Updated: 10/07/2021 at 8:06am
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Top Rated Answers
Profile: Flawlessinsanity21
Flawlessinsanity21
June 30th, 2016 6:13pm
Talk to them. Sit down and have a serious talk with them about how you're feeling and how their simple apologies make you feel. Tell them you want them to stand up for you and have your back. Just tell them what you're feeling.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 7:41am
Well, you should respectfully and calmly tell your parents how you feel. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me!” or “You’re a weakling!” or “You never face problems!” or “You’re not brave enough!” you should try not to focus on saying you so much and saying what they did wrong. Keep saying I and me and tell them what they can do right. For example, say, “My feelings are hurt about the bully, and I think that you should tell the bullies’ parents about this. This is a problem that is bothering me and I think I might need your help. Can you take calm, nonphysical action?” Try to keep it kind and personal. From my new GIRLHOOD GUIDE book, "Girlhood Guide: Feelings Fly."
Profile: GavinT
GavinT
March 29th, 2017 2:37pm
Be honest with your parents about what is going on with your bully and make it clear that you are asking for their help and not just a simple comforting word or gesture. Keep in mind that like you, they're human, and that it may be difficult for them to know exactly what to do in your situation. But if you are there to help each other over come your bully, you're going to be on the right foot!
Profile: HappyEllie
HappyEllie
July 3rd, 2019 1:02am
Explain to your parent the way this makes you feel. Many parents do not understand the emotional and physical impact bullying has on young people today. They may see this bullying as just a small part of your life but struggle to understand the magnitude of the stress this may put you under. Try to explain to them why apologising is not working for you, although this may seem like the easy option, try to make them aware that this does not make life any easier for you. Try to put them in your shoes in a way it makes it easier to empathise with you and fully understand your situation.
Profile: allyswift
allyswift
July 17th, 2016 8:14am
By being open with them , How this is really effecting u and telling them that no body can help them
Profile: PerryMason
PerryMason
August 4th, 2016 4:52pm
Try explaining to your parents that apologizing doesn't do much, and that bullying really affects you and hurts you.
Anonymous
July 20th, 2018 11:06am
Oh my word this question covers the way I grew up. I was always in the wrong. My parents apologised for my so called bad behaviour inside of teaching the basics of what works and what doesn't. A person cannot be expected to know. Cannot be shouted at that they are wrong. The child need to be taught the basics of good verses bad. Easy when you know the score. If someone bites a gentle introduction of teeth being sharp won't go a miss. Boundaries need to be set and rules need to be respected. Not judgemental however lovingly but firmly. Not with anger.
Anonymous
April 18th, 2021 6:41pm
Ask them to and express your concerns to them. However, you state that your parents apologize to avoid confrontation, and you are wanting your parents to fend off bullies for you ie. avoiding confrontation. If you can't rely on those around you then you must rely on yourself and find your own way to overcome your situation, whether that is by talking to other people with authority or confronting the bullies yourself. Unless these bullies are physically harming you or doing something to ruin your reputation (rumours etc) then their impact is only what you decide it to be. Bullies are just bored, insecure, immature people. They act that way because they lack the knowledge to be any different.
Profile: katherine081902
katherine081902
August 15th, 2018 8:54pm
In my personal experiences, one thing that really helped me was to sit down and have a conversation with my parents telling them how I feel and how their actions make me feel and what they show me. An example for that would be if they are apologizing to avoid confrontation, I would tell them that their actions show me that they don't care how the bullies make me feel or they don't care about resolving the issue, etc. That has worked before for me.
Anonymous
December 5th, 2018 8:55pm
When it comes to bullying it’s best to stand up for what is right, that does not mean sitting and letting it get you down and saying sorry to avoid confrontation. The best approach you could take is to go and discus this with your parent or guardian as sisuations like this are very serious, once you and expressed how you feel to your parent then can then help you get through this hard time and help solve the situation. However, if you do not feel you can go to them go to someone who you can talk to and express how you feel as it will be easier and then they can help come forth and get it sorted.
Profile: Freedomtochoose
Freedomtochoose
January 6th, 2019 2:18am
Sounds like you are in a tough position. Sorry. If it is happening in school, your family must be notified, but there isn't a need for them to intervene, just be there for support. School Policy states that all children deserve to be in an environment that is emotionally and physically safe. When adults and school officials respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior they send the message that it is not acceptable. Now, if it is happening outside of the school community, than it may be best that your parents have a sit down with the perpetrator's parents. And if that's not a solution, it may be best to file a restraining order.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2021 12:47pm
This is a great question! It depends on perspective. Sometimes it can be difficult to have our parents defend us against bullies. We are taught as a society not to bully others, it's morally wrong. But when bullies charge towards us and try to manipulate us and take advantage of us it can sometimes seem difficult to talk about it to others. Getting your parents to stand up for you is so important because it means they can defend, protect and cherish you as their child. When parents start to apologize it might seem confusing because it can just be a way to make the problem go away and avoid confrontation. This isn't always a bad thing depending on how its done. Perhaps your parents are looking at It with a perspective such as, "Hmm, if I apologize to them for not knowing better, it might help them to be calmer and not bully my child." Sometimes bullying them or their parents in return doesn't always make things better. It depends on the whole scenario and situation and how things are done. Perhaps your parents being assertive with the immature bullies parents are a way to make them understand better and communicating with them, pointing out exactly what it is that they want to stop happen. =) Don't be discouraged if you feel like your parents can not stand up for you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You shouldn't feel alone, the world should make you feel safe depending on how you view things and treat others. Everyone will be held accountable for their actions at some point in life. I understand it might be difficult to move past situations where you are feeling bullied because you feel alone. Trying to engage with people you find comfort with helps! There are support groups you might be able to talk to others and relate to them on the website. I don't want you feel alone, YOU ARE ENOUGH. Don't feel silenced when it comes to bullies. Make sure you speak up about how you feel or felt but to the right person(s) such as counselor, principle, teachers, etc.. If you go to church, let your pastor/ priest or whoever ordains within your religious beliefs. I would say that you should still tell your parents even if you feel they haven't handled the situation correctly. Speaking about your emotions can be important for your parents to understand what you're going through. Don't give up! Also, explore the website and find as much people as you can to talk to if you need to!
Anonymous
August 30th, 2020 7:49pm
It's always good to be honest with people as much as you can. Telling people how you feel is one of the best ways to make sure people understand. I know it can be hard, it's not easy to open up, but if you really want people to understand your situation and help you you should try talking to them. I understand the urge to just avoid conflict, even if it's harmful for you. However, self-care is very important. Try to explain to your parents what you're going through and how it makes you feel. Hopefully they'll understand and help you get through this hard time. You are loved and you are enough. Good luck!
Anonymous
September 9th, 2020 4:38am
Your parents need to understand that your feelings are important. They should set the example of how to properly confront a situation rather than shy away from it. You know your parents best, so you have to show them that you need their help, that your feelings are genuine and valid. You expect them as your parents to guide you through life. You deserve to have someone to lean on when people become negative. By them apologizing, your parents would be dismissing the situation, and therefore your feelings. Calmly explain your feelings to them, show them what you expect them to do. Remember, you are not alone, you have the entire 7 cups community to back you up. As an only child, I know what it's like having to rely on parents who aren't very confrontational. They don't like to meet other parents or go to social events. Once I talked to them and told them that I can support them the way I want them to support me, we've been able to go to more events (of course, prior to covid). Proper communication is key. You got this, stay strong!
Anonymous
November 15th, 2020 2:01pm
Maybe you can ask your parents to first listen to you, analyze why and how you are bullied, and ask them to believe in you and support you. Even if you are not bullied and want your parents to stand up for you, make them realise the consequences of bullying. I know that deep down they too know how bad bullying can get ... it is just that they sometimes avoid it. But the truth is, you are the only one who cant make your parents understand the importance of this subject. You should tell them, that by apologizing, one can either become polite or they can also become ignorant, and then tell them that you don't want your parents to turn out to be ignorant...
Anonymous
December 4th, 2020 11:36am
I went through this the best way would be to sit with your parents express how you are feeling see how they feel as well a chat can often bring families closer and to better understand what needs to be done. Sometimes parents may not fully understand what we may be feeling or going through so sometimes to express to them that you need their help and maybe explain to them what all has been happening and why it upsets you how they have been reacting to things i am sorry that this is happening to you bullying is rough and it is sad the world has it
Profile: SEArenity
SEArenity
April 3rd, 2021 11:56pm
I think you need to have a conversation with them. Tell them you understand their wish to avoid confrontation because it's normal to want peace. And that you want peace too. But avoiding confrontation is not solving your problem with bullies and you would like them to stand up for you so can the bullies stop harassing you and you can be in peace, that is something that you value as them (your parents). Tell them also that you fear that things will escalate, that you fear the bullying will intensify if your parents continue to be passive about the subject. You can also speak with your teacher to have a conversation with them.
Profile: yourenotalonedear
yourenotalonedear
July 6th, 2018 8:08pm
Getting parents support is vital for any child. Try to tell them accurately what happens to you and how you are being bullied. Expressing yourself will let your parents know of your situation and help you out of it.
Profile: Laceyishere
Laceyishere
June 29th, 2018 6:12pm
Tell them it’s really bothering you, confront them about the situation & how you feel. They’ll never know how bad it truely is if you don’t speak up.
Profile: SitaV
SitaV
June 14th, 2018 6:23pm
Wanting your parents to be on your side against bullies in understandable. I'm sure they don't want to escalate the situation and want to protect you from making things worse. Talk to them. Let them know that you appreciate that they don't want things to get worse but it's not helping things and that you want them to be more proactive. Try not to be accusatory. Be understanding and explain to them why you need them to stand up for you with confrontation instead of without it.
Profile: friendlyMist53
friendlyMist53
June 10th, 2018 10:48pm
The best advice I can give you is to sit down with your parents and tell them what exactly is happening to you. Sometimes it can be difficult for parents to exactly understand this problem. If you tell them what you are experiencing, they may understand you better and agree to help you stand up against the bullies.
Profile: wonderousSound48
wonderousSound48
May 16th, 2018 6:14pm
your parents will always stand up for you no matter what and you will be better off asking them and telling them what has been going on.
Profile: BrandonCares1074
BrandonCares1074
May 4th, 2018 9:39pm
You could have a talk with your parents about all of the ways this person has bullied you and ask for them to confront his parents or contact the school. Your parents want the best for you and they will understand.
Profile: purplewidow345
purplewidow345
May 3rd, 2018 5:40pm
Let them know how you truly feel about needing there help. Also try to standing up for yourself. It is easier said than done,but I believe you can. You have shown strength by asking for help. I hope it all works well!
Profile: ruedabega13
ruedabega13
April 11th, 2018 3:45pm
Explain to them how it makes you feel when they do that in a calm way. Speak your truth, and try to find a compromise that suits you and them.
Profile: SkyeWater
SkyeWater
April 8th, 2018 5:31pm
Parents are a fundemental figure in a teenager or child’s life and they care for their children as much as we would care for ourselves, if not, much more. It is important to first- tell your parents of your bullying, and feel comfortable about it. If you are not comfortable with telling them, you will naturally not be comfortable with them helping you stand up against your bullies. Secondly, help them understand your limits. Standing up to a bully for you is one thing, but reporting the bully to the principle of your school is another- if you’r like your parents to simply tell the bully to stop bullying you, do inform them instead of keeping them in the dark.
Profile: AbreeSmiles
AbreeSmiles
March 31st, 2018 12:21am
You could tell your parents, and have them talk to the principal or someone in charge, and have them talk to the others parents/guardians.
Anonymous
March 27th, 2018 6:30pm
if it was me i would just ask them for help and explain to them what is going on. you have to believe that your parents will always stick up for you
Profile: Salty
Salty
March 1st, 2018 7:17pm
It depends on the type and severity of the bullying.If it's online bullying, then the best would be to screenshot the conversations and show your parents. If it's at school then you can explain to your parents how you feel when coming to school, and have a few examples of situations where you really felt uncomfortable and threatened.
Profile: DreamsAndDoodles
DreamsAndDoodles
May 26th, 2019 6:17pm
Maybe try having a serious talk with them about why it bothers you when they do that, and how you wish they would behave. Try not to sound accusatory. Talk about how it's affecting you rather than what's wrong with them. Be honest about your feelings, and about how the bullies behave. Try to get them to see everything from your point of view, while keeping in mind that they also have their own reasons for the way they behave, and that they're just trying to help. I hope you find my answer useful and it that it helps you out.