What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

272 Answers Moderated by Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT Updated: Oct 29, 2024

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Anonymous on Jul 3, 2016

Step back and take a look at why your feeling that way. Chances are it's just a little insecurity that everybody feels at one point or another. If somebody likes you then you ARE good enough. You should try to have a bit more self worth than you give yourself credit for. 

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OmgLeandra on Jul 4, 2016

I dont think you should have that mentality. Youre good enough for anyone. Know your worth! If you feel like youre not good enough for someone its probably cause theyre not good enough for you! Stay positive, whether youre a guy or girl youre beautiful and youre worth so much more than what you think.

kmrobs on Aug 21, 2016

Quite often when I find myself questioning "Why am I just not good enough?" the first thing I do is take a step back. I work re-evaluate the relationship I have with the person and what I've done that could have been wrong. If I find I'm fabricating reasons I am the problem I then evaluate the ratio of give/take and if the relationship is beneficial to my personal growth or well-being. If and when I find that the relationship is toxic and the person is hindering my ability to grow as a person I take the hard steps to sever the ties. 

emitlove on Jul 6, 2016

Remind yourself that you have value.  There is no one like you, and there never will be.  And if you honestly think that you're not good enough for someone, honestly ask yourself why.  Do you have underlying insecurity issues that you should talk to someone about?  Does this "someone" tear you down rather than build you up as a person?  If this "someone" doesn't remind you continuously that you have value, and that they care about you, maybe it's time to walk away from said friendship and/or relationship.  And maybe it's time to work on yourself, and help you realize your intrinsic value.

braveSoul96 on Jul 30, 2016

Well if the person is sticking around then I don't see how you're not. What if they're not good enough for you? Our 'flaws' and 'insecurities' are others favourite traits about someone. Know your worth and try not to mentally torture yourself with that question.

SparklingStarbuck on Jul 6, 2016

Hello,
Today I am into a non-judgement day. This means that I have decided about not making a judgement about anything that comes through. How do I do it? The answer for this question is that I do not categories anything which comes to me. By categorising I mean to think that something is good, bad, tall,short, fat, beautiful, ugly, tough, easy, etc. I have stopped my mind from labelling. I am taking every thing which comes to me in the form which it is.

So, based on my today's Non-Judgement. I would suggest not to judge yourself that you are not good for someone. The reason behind this is, if we think negative thoughts then we leave negative energy waves in our body and this makes us weak. Plus this waves of energy is so strong that it attracts the thing we were  thinking of. Like in this case if we think we are not good for someone, this will be made true in sometime by the universe on its own. So, do not judge yourself not being good for anyone and think positive:-).

Apart from this, to be specific about the answer of the given question, we can follow the undermentioned techniques:-
1. Think of all the good and value additions you have made to that someone's life.
2. Make a list of all the value additions you have made. Enter all the points, how ever small they may be, add them in the list.
This will give you positive thoughts about for the other person and you will not fell that same again.

Apart from this you can also ask that someone to tell you what good have you done in their lives, what are your value additions because of you in their life, etc. Ask them to make a list of 10 or more points. (min 10). By doing this you will come to know what that other person thinks of you. Your thought of not being good will also be removed totally as now you will get to know your value form someone else:-). Outside and independent reviews are always good.

Stay Positive. Stay Blessed.
May the joy be with you :-) !!! 

Expert approved by Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner

brightPeace91 on Aug 5, 2016

Don't look down on yourself, we all have flaws and think some things can be done better. But if you really believe that you're not good enough, then change. Be the best person you can be, and if they think you're not good enough, then move on.

Anonymous on Jul 27, 2016

oh no, don't do that to yourself..thinking that you are not good enough for someone will do nothing but make you unhappy. Every time you find yourself thinking that you are not good enough..wait a second and think of a complete opposite thought. You can even try writing your thought down. What you tell yourself can really make a difference here.  We all tend to be a little on ourselves but telling yourself that you are not good enough is like telling a child that he/she is not good enough. Will you do that anyone else? No right? then why to yourself? 

Greatlistener87 on Jul 8, 2016

You trust that person choose you to be with him/her because they think you are worth it. And know that if that person knows that you are worth it then so should you.

TheGlovedOne on Jul 8, 2016

Realize that no one is too good for you. You are a human, and so are they. You have a chance, just try it. If you get rejected, realize they are missing out on what they could have gotten. 

natashareed57 on Jul 29, 2016

I understand your feelings. But you can find the courage to change your life.
First of all, love yourself. Be confident! 
If you do not value yourself, nobody will! You are precious, you are special 
If you feel that you do not deserve the person the person you want to be with,try to change what you dont like about yourself! And understand that if you are saying this about your physical appearance know that you deserve good because you are good at heart. A good looking person can only attract another person,not be with them for love because you need understanding for that,you must be good at heart....I know its ClichÃ©d....this dialogue but its the truth! 
Love yourself !

alexandrism on Sep 10, 2016

The best thing to do is to let go of that person, because when you start feeling like something is too good for you it means that this thing/ person is not appreciating you enough and this is when you need to find yourself what you deserve and maybe have some time alone discover your needs and your worth this is when you will attract the person who suits your needs.

hearnospeaknoseeno on Jul 5, 2016

I would encourage to explore the question as to whether you are good enough for yourself before you compare yourself to others. 

NumberEleven on Aug 6, 2016

Everyone has their inherent worth, it's not something that can be taken away. You won't be the best for everyone, and not everyone will appreciate you or the things you do, but that doesn't make you any less worthy than you are. 

UniqueHeart on Aug 25, 2016

No one is better than anyone else. You are not lesser of a person and you deserve just as much as everyone else, you must believe in your heart that you are good enough for anything.

Anonymous on Jul 8, 2016

You just need to remember that you are goog enough for anyone.. if they tell you something like 'you aren't good enough for me just remember that everyone deserves the best and if they were enough for you they wouldn't say that .. Hope the best for you ðŸ˜€

Flawlessinsanity21 on Jul 8, 2016

I think this answer varies for everyone. It just depends on the kind of person you are. In my opinion, if you don't think that you are good enough for someone then tell them. Be honest about your feelings whether it is their fault or not. 
 If it is them who is causing you to feel that way I would definitely tell them then. And if they don't improve I would remove them from my life because I deserve better and shouldn't have to feel this way. 

LoverOfHappiness on Aug 6, 2016

Write a list of the things you cherish about yourself. We tend to focus on what other people think of us or want from us. But truly it starts with us first.

VerdictEndgameOver on Aug 7, 2016

Fight on and strive to improve yourself day by day! If you feel too unfit, go do some exercise! If you feel like you lack skills, go take some classes and the like! All too often we get caught up with our own feelings of inadequacy, and forget to actually do something about it.

Strive to succeed, and take the steps to do it, and you will be surprised at the progress you make! :)

Kesa on Oct 13, 2017

I talk to them about my insecurities. I believe there is no point in making assumptions if you don't have a sureshot reason for it. Confronting the person, and talking about it is the best for a relationship. Being insecure is a part of life, and as humans everyone goes through it at some point or another, but running away from it is no solution. Easier said than done. I understand. But it's good to get to know the other person's opinions about you before jumping to any conclusions. As said "haste makes waste", take your time. But talk. Talking is the key.