my gf went out of country then she said i dont feel the same anymore i cant get over it what should i do she sees me only as a friend now not a lover anymore help?
4 Answers
Last Updated: 09/13/2021 at 6:21pm
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Anonymous
August 26th, 2019 8:35am
I can totally relate to your situation. We humans have a tendency to make new connections and develop feelings for the people around us. You shouldn’t be having expectations from her as it’ll lead to unhappiness only, because she made it clear how she feels about it. I’d say spend your time with friends and doing things that you love while making yourself better everyday. Initially you may find it hard, but stick to it. While you’re doing awesome things you’ve high probability to find someone who loves to do these things with you. Time will heal everything. Take care!
I'm sorry you have to go through this. Heartbreak is never easy. I have been on both sides of this scenario, and truly the only thing to heal is plenty of time, distance, and self-reflection. But first of all, give yourself the gift of distance. Don't try to be friends, no desperate attempts at reconciliation nor angry messages that can only convey self-pity. Maybe friendship will come later, but let yourself heal first. Recognize that it's perfectly normal and ok to feel the way you feel--you'll feel a lot of things that can range from noble to evil. She left a hole in your heart, and while it's healing it's good to try to fill it with things that nourish you, whatever that may be. Spend time with friends, read a good book, walk in nature, ride a rollercoaster! It's easy to play the blame game, whether that focus is on the other person or yourself--"Her problem is..." "There's something wrong with me..." Ah well, she might well have a problem, or there might actually be something wrong with you...but most likely that special mix of chemistry, compatibility and timing just wasn't there. Those conclusions are best arrived at when you are back in the neutral zone. And you will get there, hang on...
I understand how frustrating long-distance relationships can be! Not seeing your partner in person is very difficult, but if you continue to offer them emotional intimacy it is just as important as physical intimacy in the long run! They will take time to adjust to not seeing you in person, and even if they decide the relationship isn't what they want any more it can be important to continue to be their friend if you think you can! As much as you are struggling try to remember they are struggling too in their own unique way and may still need your friendship!
Anonymous
September 13th, 2021 6:21pm
I understand how hard a breakup can be. It may be helpful at this time to put more time into your hobbies and things that bring you joy. When you are partaking in these activities really pay attention to how it makes you feel and focus on those happy emotions. Also, a breakup can bring up feelings of insecurity, remember to be kind to yourself and take time out of your day to practice gratitude. Lastly, self-care is extremely important to do things that help you feel loved by yourself. Do not be hard on yourself and take your time to heal.
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