Is it normal to breakup multiple times?
285 Answers
Moderated by Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Updated: Jan 7, 2024
SilentScreams2239
on
Apr 21, 2016
...read more
It is normal but it isn't what is exactly okay. Multiple break ups shows that someone in the relationship just isn't all in. Usually the more hurtful relationships
generousBranch2438
on
Nov 9, 2017
...read more
Hi All
Im just wondering if anyone has been in a situation like this.
So im 32 and my ex is 35, we were together 2 months we clicked and really liked eachother but she came to me and said she was really stressed with her job, which was true and that she had a gut feeling we werent right for eachother, we talked it out and left on a good note stopping contact. a month later she reached out to me to hang out again, we did, took it slow for a month but then we really fell for eachother and she told me she was madly in love and never had chemistry like this with anyone. so for about 6 months we were really improving and everything was great. she did mention she stil had the feeling now and again but thought it was just a fear she wasnt good enough for me but she said she could get over it. 2 weeks ago we went away for the wknd we got on brilliant and had great fun, she was a bit insecure about herself she told me on the wknd away but i assured her she was perfect. 3 days after we got back she come over to my house and broke up with me, she was genuine in saying she was mad in love with me and didn't want to break up with me but that gut feeling was overwhelming her. she kept saying she never had anything like this and didnt want to walk away but she had to because it wasnt fair on me. 3 days later i text her to see if she wanted to meet for a talk, she said ya. I planned going there to talk about what the problems were but as i walk toward her she ran gave me a huge hug and started kissing me, she couldnt keep her hands off me. so we got talking and tried to get to the bottom of that feeling and we cant figure it out. she is going to therapy for it. so i said ok if we are done i need to delete your number and stop contact even though i love you and want to be with you. she agreed we should cut contact but begged me not to delete her number. we havent talked in a week. if she reaches out i would love to give this another go and talk out the problems. any girls have a point of view as to why she would act like this? i think she is putting needles pressure on herself as she thinks her baby clock is ticking.
Life705
on
Apr 17, 2015
...read more
Sometimes it takes several breakups for us to realize that the person we are breaking up with will never be able to offer us the loving, committed and fulfilling relationship that we are looking for. We often end up entering into a relationship with them over and over again because we hope that this time everything will be better and he/she will be a different person now. While this might sometimes be the case, more often than not we will be left heartbroken over and over again and finally have to realize that things will likely never work out. Sometimes it's better to acknowledge this sooner than later. Because delaying the inevitable will in the end only leave us more heartbroken and cause us a lot of pain that could have been avoided
Nagisa
on
May 11, 2016
...read more
If you are breaking up with the same person on a regular basis it may be time to think about how healthy the situation really is for both you and your partner. What are the reasons for breaking up? Is it always because of the same reasons? Will the situation change?
yoruichigo54
on
Mar 10, 2016
...read more
It's common for some relationships, but I don't know if I would say it's normal. A couple should only break up if there is serious problem with the relationship. If two people truly care about each other, they should be willing to communicate about the issue so they can move forward with their relationship instead of opting out when the going gets tough.
TiredWithJoy
on
Nov 2, 2015
...read more
Breaking up multiples times means that your relationship show many normal helpful signs. Assertiveness, dispute resolution, reconciliation and willingness to try where you have failed in this past. Of course, repeating past mistakes infinitely is a sign of insanity. If you can learn and grow based on past mistakes, you are taking great steps forward.
Anonymous
on
Apr 17, 2016
...read more
Throughout our lives, we all change. We face different problems, have different priorities, and meet new people who shape who we are. Your partner is the person with whom you share all of those changes with, and often it's a case of needing to fall apart in order to fall back together - it may take an emotionally charged action, such as a break-up to realise you're still in love with that person. It really depends on how frequently you break up, and whether the reason you break up each time is fundamentally the same. If you use each time you break up as an opportunity to further understand each other and grow as people, then this is completely personal to yourself and your partner and may be a progressive (albeit turbulent!) means of getting on in your relationship. However, if you're breaking up frequently, and the reason for doing so is the same, consistently causing problems in your relationship, then this is not healthy. If you're making each other unhappy more than you're making each other feel valued and appreciated, then you're not being kind to yourself or your partner by re-entering the battlefield once the war is over.
HoneyStarling
on
Mar 6, 2015
...read more
In the same, single relationship? No, not really. A solid, loving relationship is just that. Solid. It doesn't need the heights and lows of drama and chemistry to keep it interesting and attractive. Constant break ups and drama can feel great, but they are exhausting relationships to maintain and can become hurtful or toxic as the 'break up' low swings deeper and deeper.
Thearrow
on
Mar 20, 2016
...read more
Oh it is, it surely is, if you really love someone, you have to hit your head in the wall sometimes, love isn't always the easiest thing you experience in life, it is really hard, two people that love each other can break up, sometimes we just need to try new things, or explore other things to prove to ourselves that we really don't want anything else than the person we were with, to prove to ourselves that it is true love, I would say that a good relationship went through break ups, at least once.
Priscilaxx
on
May 1, 2015
...read more
Sometimes, that's what it takes to realize if you really want to be with the person. Do what makes YOU happy not anyone else.
Bblovetj
on
Mar 13, 2016
...read more
It is normal, in fact I have broken up with the same person multiple times till I realized he wasn't right for me and eventually I stopped going back to him and moved on. I no longer talk to him and I now have a new boyfriend I love very much. :)
newbeginnings3
on
Mar 13, 2015
...read more
Every relationship is different, but think about why you both keep breaking up. Communication makes or breaks a relationship, any kind, and having good understanding of one another as well a s expressions of your thoughts and emotions is important. Also think if the relationship is honestly for you or not. If it is, do your best to work through your problem(s) and always talk and listen to both sides. If not, move on kindly, learn from this experience, and find someone more compatible. Good luck!
RosieBlue01
on
Apr 15, 2016
...read more
No. It is unhealthy and you should have established that there was a reason for a breakup to begin with. You shouldn't have to force a relationship.
MoonlitHaze
on
Apr 29, 2016
...read more
Is it normal? Yes. In fact I see this happen a lot, especially in younger relationships. It's hard to let go of someone you loved or had good experiences with, especially if they were the first person you've felt that way with. But chances are when people break up multiple times they get back together because they miss the feeling, and not so much the person themselves. It's not always the case though. As for me my partner and I broke up about 4 years ago and started dating again this year. Things are going very smooth but thats because we discussed the reasons the relationship didn't work out in the first place. If you don't discuss it and figure out a solution, then it will not change and you will become stuck in that cycle. Sometimes its better to move on. It really depends on how willing the people involved are willing to figure out whats making the relationship rocky in the first place.
Compassioness89
on
Dec 1, 2015
...read more
No. Either you stay with the person or you do not. There is no grey area. Even if either of you messes up, breaking up might not be the right choice and you should remain supportive and loyal to the person. Stable, that is. It is not helpful to break up over and over, because once this happens, trust can usually not be reestablished.
Anonymous
on
Mar 10, 2016
...read more
You are the one who decides what is normal. Relationships are a messy, beautiful thing. As long as you feel safe and in control, you are the only measure of what is normal for you.
Anonymous
on
Jan 21, 2017
...read more
Some couples are really passionate and go through many fights that lead to break ups. Then they go back together and enjoy the fresh feeling but it doesn't last long. So the real problems come back. So no, it is a sign of a non healthy relationship.
brilliantSoul17
on
Mar 7, 2015
...read more
There really is no way to define what is normal when it comes to relationships. One of the things that is the most important to keep in mind is whether or not that relationship is making you happy.
Anonymous
on
Jan 12, 2016
...read more
I believe that if you break up with someone and then realise you cannot live without them it is fine and healthy for the relationship. However if you're breaking up multiple times its not good for your relationship. You need to think about the reasons you're breaking up and whether you can over come them. It seems as though you are in an unstable relationship and if you want to see a future with this person in particular it seems almost impossible to do so as you don't trust one another to stay together. Assess the issues you have and maybe you can progress past them and build a strong relationship.
Anonymous
on
Mar 10, 2016
...read more
It depends upon your situation. If the relationship is toxic you should break up. But multiple break up also reflects commitment issues with a person.
I still love my ex. Should I feel this way?
416 Answers
How long does it take to get over someone?
393 Answers
Why does breaking up hurt so much?
370 Answers
My boyfriend or girlfriend wants to break up with me, how can I change their mind?
347 Answers
What can I talk about with my boyfriend on the phone?
322 Answers
Should I tell my boyfriend that I cheated?
317 Answers