I left an abusive marriage after 25yrs. I'm still in love and fantasise about one day fixing things. He has a new relationship and it kills me. I know I can't go back but how do I go on?

The best answer here is going to be a tough one and I'm sorry for that. But the hard truth is, you need to get over him. It is over, for good reason, and it is time to begin living for you. A great way to do this is to find some friends, explain the situation to them and spend some time with them. Get back to yourself, remember all the things you are without your ex and build some confidence in yourself. Have patience, give yourself some time to heal and take positive action. Make sure to talk about how you're feeling but try not to let yourself spend too long thinking and talking about your ex. Instead, distract yourself, make new, positive actions and slowly, you will find yourself healing and letting go of the past. I wish you the best of luck on your new journey, see this as a time to grow and embrace the change and you will surely come out the other side stronger, happier and ready to give life everything you've got.

There will have been times in your marriage your felt safe, secure, happy and loved and it’s these feelings your holding onto. Your in love with the person you thought he was and not the person he became. Maybe you fantasise because you would rather be with him than out there alone. Getting back on your feet is difficult but it will make you a stronger person. It’s time to make a life for yourself, go out, get involved in activities, make new friends and eventually you will find happiness again. Learn to be happy in yourself and the rest will follow

First, take the time to reevaluate the relationship and be truly thankful that you got out of the abusive relationship with the ability to live your life now. Secondly, reevaluate and depict the events of that relationship and find time to understand the reason you needed to get out of it in the first place. The common quote is "if he did it once and then did it again; nine times out of ten he will continue to do it again. His new relationship may be experiencing the same kind of abuse you were experiencing and may be looking for a way out. What looks peachy on the outside may not be as gold on the inside. You have to continue being grateful and thankful that you were able to escape. We are put through trials and tribulations to test our faith. Look at it as a blessing and you're going to continue growing not going backward. Take the time to find a hobby or look into dating others to get your mind off it. Find someone new and better. A upgrade always makes it worth the wait and the new experience. Show him that you can move on and you can do better than what you were doing before him. Get a hair cut, lose weight, buy new clothes. Make yourself feel beautiful and other things will fall into place.

Always know that you deserve better. Time heals all things. Know that it is not your fault and that you have given your 110% in the relationship. Be proud of yourself for knowing that an abusive relationship is not a healthy relationship and that you left because of that.