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How can I be friends with my ex?

41 Answers
Last Updated: 12/08/2020 at 6:53pm
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Top Rated Answers
Cati
September 29th, 2014 7:17pm
I know it's hard to maintain a friendship with someone that probably hurt you or that you probably hurt. But we have to keep in mind that a relationship is sucessful when we can bring happiness into another person's life, and vice-versa. If we don't feel happy with someone, why should we be contempt with that? If someone is not happy with us, why shouldn't we allow that person to be happy? We have to think "If he/she doesn't want to be with me, then I deserve better, I deserve someone that wants to spend time with me." Remember, we can't have a rainbow without a little rain, and we have to believe that the future holds better days. Stay strong!
interestingLove66
May 15th, 2015 6:22pm
Let go of all the bitterness and hold on to the good memories. Let yourself move on.Treasure the freindship.
Anonymous
November 8th, 2014 3:18am
Try talking to them again, maybe text them first? Ask them how they've been, what they've been up. Just small things like that can help, but this also depends on how your relationship was before. Talk to them the way you would talk to a stranger.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2014 12:34pm
Well you can be, only if none of you have past the feeling of love. Otherwise with one person still in love with the other, it could take light-years to get over and staying friends isn't best of options.
Becca0926
July 27th, 2015 1:19pm
Truthfully, I don't think this is ever a good idea. Unless you date someone and realize you are better off as just friends, that's a different situation. If you truly loved your ex and want to stay friends, the feelings will come back. And it makes it very difficult for any future relationships.
Bikki
November 13th, 2014 3:51am
I've always experience that you cannot be friends with your ex. There is a huge difference between being friendLY and friends, and the latter is a BAD IDEA. There are always lingering feelings, at least on one side, and it gets too confusing and hurtful.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2016 2:21am
If you can communicate with them what you feel comfortable with and are able to respect their wishes as well, you can stay friends.
akr
November 20th, 2014 6:23pm
You can't be friends with your ex especially when you two just broke up.....IT WILL TAKE TIME DON'T RUSH THINGS ALLOW YOURSELF TO MOVE ON FIRST
tranquilBeauty34
March 9th, 2015 10:57pm
In order to have a healthy friendship with an ex, make sure clear boundaries have been communicated, and both are on the same page and adhere. Keep the friendship honest, talking about shared interest and the things that made you friends during your relationship.
AppleSauces
May 14th, 2015 8:45pm
the same way you can be friends with anyone else! Communicate, hangout, include them in things! Try to stay away from topics about relationships in the begining thou.
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2014 6:41am
After a decent grieving time and once you feel you can handle him/ her being with someone else and feel quite good about it, it's possible. But you have to establish healthy boundaries.
killerquuen18
July 6th, 2015 4:21am
You should talk to them and just explain that u don't want to date and why then try to talk nicely .
Sara889
October 22nd, 2014 9:58pm
Being friends with an ex can be one of the hardest things to do. Some people say it is possible, and some say it is not. Ultimately, it depends on how closely you two were, the type of relationship you experienced, and the feelings you currently have for each other. The decision of remaining friends should be discussed with each other and both of you should agree on the type of relationship you will have from now on. Maybe setting some ground rules can help you maintain a normal friendship. As long as no one is being hurt and both people are on the same page, being friends with an ex is possible.
slightlyodd99
August 31st, 2015 12:17pm
Just talk to him/her, strike up a normal conversation once in a while. It might be awkward at first (i know it was for me) but over time it will be less so
Anonymous
November 24th, 2015 3:03pm
First you must find peace between the two off you..... Come to terms with the break up release all hurt and pain.... Then you should be right on your way to a healthy friendship. 😉
Anonymous
November 20th, 2014 8:16am
Just be formal and Nice dont talk about past rather focus on being civilized.....................................................................................................
peacefulNutella97
January 5th, 2016 4:47pm
Being friends with your ex takes a lot of time. After you break up, it is best to distance yourself from your ex for a little so you can remember what life was like without him. Afterwards, when you are completely over him, you can start talking to him again and you guys may be friends. If you jump right into a friendship, it may not work because either of you may still have feelings for each other and things will be awkward. It is best to spend some time apart first and then reconnect later.
Anonymous
May 31st, 2016 12:18pm
accept first that the two of you are over and there's no feelings involve and your intention for being friends is clean,
Gazali21
September 12th, 2016 3:44pm
You need to accept her as another human being and respect her decision. She has a right to live the world and at any stage if she decides to mobe on you need to allow her. Only then you can be her friend after
OpenedEyes
October 25th, 2016 5:16pm
Don't think about him as your ex, change your mind set. Through this you ca begin to look at him differently and over time the awkwardness or any discomfort will lessen.
Meowzer326
October 23rd, 2017 10:24pm
You can be friends with your ex, however you need to take a good chunk of time completely away from each other. I mean no contact of any kind for at least 4 months. This allows for both of you get your emotions and thoughts in order. There will be hurt feelings. You need time to recover.
Anonymous
March 5th, 2018 7:27am
If you broke up on good terms, it might be quite easier to be friends with them. But first, you have to ask yourself why you want to be friends with him and the only hope you want out of the friendship is to maintain the friendship and cherish it.
apricot230
July 9th, 2018 8:54am
This question is rather vague. Did you two end the relationship on good/bad terms? Is s/he currently single or attached? You need to be sure that a friendship is all that you're after. Once certain, reach out to him/her and express your intent and emphasize that s/he can take all the time necessary to be alone and that you'll be available as a friend if and whenever s/he's ready to talk. If you're unable to contact him or her because you were blocked on all platforms, or if s/he's already seeing someone, I'd suggest that this is not the time to force your way back into his or her life.
BaysideTigers
December 8th, 2020 6:53pm
I honestly struggle with this question. If I had to think of a perfect situation, it would be where we simply did not have the same goals. Probably coming down to kids and marriage. If this person did not want those things, I'm sure I could potentially be their friend still. This would help if before we were in a relationship, we were friends first. That way, we would have had some common ground to start with. I'd also say that if our relationship was built on honesty and truth. If we fought and argued but at least we were honest about who we are, then it seems like there would be trust. Those things, in my opinion, are grounds to let someone go, but still recognize their value as a person, rather than someone that you were intimate with.
heyitssaf
November 8th, 2014 9:27pm
You can be friends with your ex when you only think about them the way you think about anyone else, as often as you'd think of anyone else.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2014 9:32pm
Maintaining friendship after breakup is very difficult on both parties, even if you're both interested in such an arrangement. The best thing is a clean break, as long as you're trying to move forward, being around each other will only bring pain. Once you've both moved on, reconnect and see if you're compatible as friends.
Wes2
November 4th, 2014 8:50am
Not everyone can, it depends on the situation. If you'd like to give it a go, sit down with them and vocalize that goal. See what they have to say about it. It takes 2 to tango, and if your ex is on board, there's no reason not to try! But if he/she isn't, be prepared to move on. You don't want to try to be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with you.
brilliantSky60
November 4th, 2014 3:29pm
The best way is to talk to them as a person and hopefully share in your common interests. You don't want to dwell on the past, just make sure they are doing well. I've been friends with my almost all of the ex's I've had.
helpmeHelpyou61
November 4th, 2014 5:43pm
You can be friends if you want to. But it is my opinion, that your friendship won't last any longer. And if it did then it would be because either you two are still in love or you two have never loved each other ever!
misathesecond
- Expert in Breakups
November 4th, 2014 6:22pm
Depending on how the break up went, this can be challenging. A good way to start is to see how comfortable they are talking to you casually, it can be very awkward at first, and you both need to be willing to make it work as friends in order for it to happen. If you plan to meet up, try in a group first to avoid any unwanted awkward situations. I would recommend some time given after a breakup, otherwise it can feel a bit like salt on fresh wounds.