Why do I keep feeling bad when I face things which I thought I was over them ?
13 Answers
Last Updated: 11/11/2019 at 3:38am
Moderated by
Stacy Overton, PhD.
Counselor
I am an enthusiastic life-long learner and also a professor of counseling. I have a passion for peoples stories and helping to guide and empower the human spirit.
Top Rated Answers
It takes time to get over things, it is a process that cannot be rushed. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel, and know that it's quite okay.
Sometimes we get "triggered" in the present by things that remind us in some way of things that happened in the past. While this can be disturbing, it is also fairly typical. I feel like one of the keys to dealing with this effectively is to practice mindfulness. If you think you have been triggered by a past event, try consciously remind yourself that it was a past event, you have moved on, and that you are better. And remember to breathe! In through the nose, out through the mouth through pursed lips.
Anonymous
April 18th, 2015 7:51am
Because you have a conscience and more than likely you are not over the problem. The better question ask is how can i help with overcoming this feeling
Anonymous
July 27th, 2015 2:18am
Some learn to forgive, but never ever forget. Allow yourself to be upset but don't let it control or define you. Understand that those were dark events and move forward. You don't have to be happy about what happened, all you need to do is accept it.
Getting over something is not equal to stop having feelings. You can be over a situation or person, yet still hurt when you are forced to face them. Pain is a strong emotion, and you can't be hard on yourself when you feel it over a situation. Be patient, and take things slowly, and remember that everything is temporary, even feeling badly.
Your unconsciousness is telling you that you're not fully over it yet. You need more time, and maybe help, to allow yourself to get over it.
Well, you can feel bad because you really didn't end up letting go of them. Which is pretty important to the process.
Anonymous
December 29th, 2015 7:28am
As time goes on, the pain of something bad lessens, but when we are faced with something that triggers a memory of the bad thing, it makes it hard to get over it completely, especially if people keep bringing it up often.
Anonymous
March 7th, 2016 6:15am
You haven't made peace with the past. Understand that lagging on the past will make you miss out on the present, which only happens once.
Because of the memories, you might be over it but memories always come back and try to haunt you. But you have to remember you got over them already
Because as you said you only thought you faced them when you really didn't, but there's nothing wrong with that. Try settling the situation (even if it means you're trying to settle it AGAIN), and if the reason for not succeeding is an outside factor (e.g.: someone else) then don't feel bad because you know you did everything I you could and that is what matters.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2019 9:04am
There are a few reasons in my opinion.
One, you haven't properly made amends with the situation or never felt secure and satisfied with the solution or answer given.
Two, forgetting is easy but letting go is hard. You may have felt okay and forget about it. However, think about what makes it hard to let go of those things.
Third, the feelings that you experience when you face those things will always be there. That is OKAY. Although you have accepted that it happened, it will still feel that way. Just leave the past in the past and the memory, a memory.
Lastly, you have different situations that connects and makes you feel bad. For instance, when you think about something then it leads to another things you felt bad about.
Feelings can sometimes feel unpredictable and uncontrollable. That is not your fault, you are very brave for facing things even when they are intense for you and you are allowed to do so at your own rate. If you are feeling bad you are probably relating to how you felt in that moment, it is important to honor that pain and accept it, even when it can feel difficult. You might carry a large burden but you are not a burden and you are deserving of care and support however you are feeling and however long the ago the "bad things" happened.
Talk to an expert therapist
Hi there, thank you for reading my bio. My name is Amy and I have been a LMFT...
Talk to AMY NowRelated Questions: Why do I keep feeling bad when I face things which I thought I was over them ?
How do I get over feeling that everyone is going to leave me?Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful? How can I get what I need from my doctor? I feel extremely sick whenever I leave my house, what can I do? I have trouble with my school work due to procrastinating. And my anxiety always gets in the way. How do I get things done?A family member thinks I am lying about where I am going but I'm not, what should I do?How do I know if I did the right thing?Is it hard to think critically about something you love?How do I overcome the fear of cashiers?How can I convince myself that my friends don't hate me? I have this irrational fear that they actually hate me.