Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?

275 Answers
Last Updated: 12/28/2019 at 3:28pm
Why am I nervous around my girlfriend?
★ This question about Anxiety was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
5 star rating
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
gracefulForever57
May 23rd, 2015 7:11pm
its probably because you are afraid of losing her or embarrassing yourself but don't worry the more you are with her the more comfortable you will get
blanket7
January 30th, 2016 11:52pm
You dont want to mess up in front of her, you want to impress her which is okay. It's totally normal to be nervous around the one you love.
Brownieyes
June 21st, 2015 3:15am
Probably because you really like her and are scared of messing things up, but don't be! Girls love it when guys are all cute and nervous! Plus chances are you have no reason to feel this way anyway besides the fact that you really like her.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2015 6:33pm
You can be nervous for a number of reasons, it could be simply because you like them so much, or it could be for another reason that you don't want to mess up around her
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2016 5:18am
If you always feel nervous around your girlfriend, there's a chance you haven't established a close enough relationship to feel comfortable around her. Do everything you can to make your relations with her more like the relations you have with people you're comfortable with. This may include sharing stories, spending more time together, or getting to know each other on a more personal level. Communication is key! With time and care, you'll get to be more comfortable with her, and it will strengthen your relationship immensely.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 7:36am
This is normal :) It means that you don't want to screw up around her. You care what she thinks I you so much.
AloneAcneLove
June 24th, 2015 9:02am
Are you sure you're not having any stress or depression? But I am really sure, you're nervous because you really like her.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2016 3:17pm
You wanna impress her, but you do not know how to do it. You fear you might do something embarassing.
EmpathicAlice
July 5th, 2015 8:45am
There's various of reasons. Did you do something wrong that you know she'd disapprove? Did you suspect something she did? Ultimately, talk to your partner to resolve your nervousness.
delightfulShiny35
June 4th, 2018 3:52pm
You internally some times feels whether I deserve her. Or you might have slight anxiety whether she will like my behavior today / in this circumstances
Anonymous
March 20th, 2018 4:23pm
You can be nervous around your girlfriend because they may done something that concerned you, they said something they shouldn't have said, or even you may think something bad will come out when your around them.
Anonymous
July 4th, 2015 10:22pm
People are nervous in all types of different situations for all types of different reasons. So it could be a lot of different things. Maybe you just want to impress her, and it's putting some pressure on you? A lot of people feel the pressure to make these situations perfect but in reality they don't have to be. When the pressure to make things perfect begins disturbing your life you could have an anxiety disorder and may need to do more to try and control it, like using coping skills, talking to a listener here, or even seeking professional help for starters. It's possible your anxiety is coming from something else as well, but it would help more to know your situation to know what might be causing it exactly.
zaatarHoney
June 26th, 2015 4:12am
Well, there are few people we let close to know us on a basic level -- and even fewer we allow even closer to know who we are as people intimately. Things not even someone living in the same house as us would necessarily know about us. And then, there's more at stake- because, you /want/ your girlfriend to like you .. and to continue to like you.
Anonymous
March 14th, 2016 11:44pm
That's a question only you hold the answer to. There are various triggers that can cause your anxiety. Try to pay attention to what exactly is causing you to be nervous around your girlfriend. Speak wth her about the issue as well.
Anonymous
July 31st, 2015 3:40pm
Because you love her you dont want to mess anything around her or say something wrong that could make you lose her
Galina
August 13th, 2015 10:07am
Why do YOU think this could be? There could be a number of reasons, not knowing you both personally it is hard to say. What is your initial gut feeling?
brightWords47
August 13th, 2015 2:38pm
Being nervous around the opposite sex normally means you have a attraction to them! Don't be nervous
SmileMitten
December 17th, 2015 11:23pm
Nervousness is pretty natural, especially if you haven't been with her for a long time. The nervousness stems from feelings of self-consciousness or doubt. "Just be yourself" is easier said than done. If you're close enough to your girlfriend you can talk to her about the anxiety. Sometimes just admitting it helps to make it go away. Anxiety and secrets are things that just get worse the more you try to push them away. Good luck!!
kittykat
August 13th, 2015 6:00pm
There are a lot of answers to this, and they all depend on the specifics in your relationship! Your nervousness might be caused by a feeling of "butterflies" or shyness in your romantic relationship, which is common. It may also be caused by various anxieties. If you're anxious around your girlfriend, you should try to have clear and open communication with her so that you can both understand where the anxieties are coming from and learn to combat them.
KellyCanary
August 14th, 2015 4:51am
There may be many reasons for this! Maybe you are afraid of intimacy; sexual, emotional, or otherwise. Maybe you are afraid of being rejected, and not being loved for who you are. The sooner you learn to be 100% your self, the sooner you will be able to discover the value or lack thereof in the relationship. Never try and change yourself for another person. There is a pot for every lid, and you WILL find that person. Never settle!
Anonymous
August 14th, 2015 2:33pm
Maybe you are afraid of doing something she might not like, afraid of losing her. Don't be; you are unique and special. :)
Facel
August 14th, 2015 9:33pm
It could very well be that you are experiencing some doubt that you may not please her. This is completely normal. However if this isn't what you believe to be happening, then it could be (depending on how long you have been in the relationship of course) that you are just not yet used to being with her.
Anonymous
August 15th, 2015 1:20am
You might have some issues being your humble self around her in order to impress her. But remember that she loves you just the way you are.
0LovelyHaven0
August 15th, 2015 8:36am
It's not an abstract feeling to feel around someone that means the most to you. If it bothers you that much, maybe you can consult with her that you're feeling this way and talk it out, no matter how embarrassing it may be, it's always good to get it off the chest and have good communication.
clh2os
December 17th, 2015 6:36am
There are many reasons. Often, we can be nervous around our partner because we are vunerable. When our hearts get involved, it opens us up to new feelings--good and bad. Learn to enjoy the ride!
gentlePrince55
December 12th, 2015 2:19pm
It could be because you don't feel secure around her; maybe you feel she is 'out of your league.' This feeling will surely pass at some point if you have a healthy relationship.
JoeMarlo
December 17th, 2015 6:38am
It could be based around a sense of commitment or you could worry about embarrassing yourself in front of them and losing your connection or getting laughed at, both of which are highly unlikely if the girl is kindhearted and likes you for you.
Anonymous
December 12th, 2015 3:21pm
Because she makes you happy and you want to be perfect for her. Being nervous is good, because it means you love her.
MrRoboticWrites
December 17th, 2015 1:28pm
It could be any number of things. It might be nervous excitement, you might be nervous that you'll do something to mess it up. You might want to think of all the reasons that might make you nervous about her.
MiraculousShiny62
December 15th, 2015 5:15pm
The nervousness comes from the fear that you may not be liked by your girlfriend. The feeling is quite normal and should pass once you and your girlfriend have established a good communication pattern. Communication is the single most ingredient to a successful relationship. Simply telling someone how you feel relieves much of the nervousness between you. Telling her you are nervous will open up the discussion. In all likelihood, she may be as nervous as you are.