I'm shy/anxious. My parents always compare me to other kids. Especially outgoing ones. What can I do to stop that?
4 Answers
Last Updated: 01/25/2022 at 1:15am
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Stacey Kiger, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 31st, 2018 7:52am
If you feel comfortable doing so; express to them how comparing you to outgoing kids makes you feel and ask them to refrain from doing so
I think the best thing to do would be to let your parents know how you feel when they compare you to others. While it is hurtful, your parents are human as well. They will make mistakes and may dismiss it unknowingly. Just know that it is within your control to stop this from happening. You shouldn't feel as though you have no say in how other people treat you, because often your own voice is enough to stop things like these. :) If it doesn't, remember that these comparisons don't make you any less of a person. Being shy or anxious doesn't define your capabilities or personality.
Being shy and anxious is not a crime. Being shy is actually a personality trait, and it's not something bad or something you MUST improve on. Being anxious, however, can be related to your mental health and for that, you should take therapy if you want to improve. But if you're happy as you are, and your anxiety is not too bad either, then you don't have to stop being the real you and try to become outgoing. Parents will always compare you to other kids, that is very cliche. But that does not mean that you try to change and lose your uniqueness. It is okay to be introverted, it is okay to prefer your own company, it is okay to have lesser friends and it is okay to go out less. It is all okay as long as you are comfortable and not lonely. IT IS OKAY TO BE YOU.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2022 1:15am
I know that it probably feels really hard right now to put yourself out there. Being compared to other kids by your parents is also really hard. But know that being shy and anxious won't last forever. The more you become comfortable with your being, the easier it is to connect with others. Other people and peers around you probably feel the same without anyone noticing too. When parents usually compare their kids to others, it usually means that they see you as an extension of themselves. But you are you! You should never be compared to others as all of our paths are different. We are all unique individuals. Just because you are not like others, that should not make you less worthy. Please love yourself and your uniqueness. Please learn to speak up about something if it hurts you. You got this!
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