How can I convince myself that my friends don't hate me? I have this irrational fear that they actually hate me.

It is highly unlikely that people you spend time with, laugh with, and talk with regularly hate you. In fact, they probably really like you! I understand that when we start to challenge things, it becomes a slippery slope. But try and remember that it is easy to see what you want in others -- especially if you are see the negative! If you call someone and they pick up the phone, if you make plans and they join you, if you say hello and they smile and say hello back, you can probably assume they're really a friend. Also, remember that friends come in many flavors. We're all different; we all satisfy different niches of friendship for one another.

You have an "irrational fear"? You know yourself that it is irrational. Why do you know it's irrational? Do they text frequently? Do they look happy to see you when you arrive? Do they seek out your company? Then you know, they don't hate you. But remember, we're all human, we all have issues, we all have private lives that our friends don't always see. If they don't reply to a text, remember they might have personal issues at home. If they don't smile when you arrive, it might not be a personal affront, smiling might just be difficult today. They don't seek out your company? Maybe they sitting at home hung up on whether you hate them. Life's funny, focus on the evidence that proves they like you, try to ignore small things that 'might' mean they hate you, but probably don't.

Before you can accept love from anyone else, you have to first love yourself. You are afraid they don't like you only because you don't like you.

I used to have these intrusive thoughts of suspecting that friends hate me due to my insecurities in my self-worth. Often times I find myself in situations where I project this irrational fear to others in forms of verbal accusations which, in a lot of circumstances, these illogical verbal attacks would deeply hurt the feelings of those who are innocent. A great deal amount o the time was spent in "soul-searching", where I devote my time in discovering self-healing and self-exploration methods that would greatly establish a healthy sense of esteem, worth and confidence. Although still in the learning process of configuring my personality, I have found this matter of irrational fear to be weighing less in my mind, as I practice more mindfulness, logic, and calmness in dealing with my own negative emotions. Self-realization or self-actualization is the journey that everyone would be bound to walk on, so in convincing myself that there is no boundary of hate existing between my friends and I, I have to practically be involved in practices that sharpens my identity and solidifies my authentic sense of Self.

Just remember that if they hated you they wouldn't want to be around you in the first place. Think about those times when you all had a fun time together, laughing and enjoying each others company. No one likes to be around people they don't like. With that, if you feel excluded out of your friend group, try looking for new people to spend time with. People that appreciate all that's good in you! You are a unique person and have many talents I'm sure. You shouldn't be worrying about whether your friends like you or not because then they wouldn't be your friends. Always surround yourself with people who cherish your good qualities and times together and able to stick around and be non-judgmental about the not-so-good times. You're great and deserve people who can recognize that. Never forget that!

This is actually a common symptom of anxiety. Unless your friends are verbally communicating their dislike (which would make them not your friends), you may want to look into talking to someone about how to cope with these thoughts and feelings.

The only way to change thoughts like this is to challenge the negative with a positive thought. Even with anti-depressants, the only way to solve anxiety or depression once and for all is to challenge the automatic negative thoughts that your brain processes when you see something like your friend not responding to a text or a friend not ever asking to hang out, etc. So instead of thinking, "They hate me and I am not lovable," think "There is evidence to back up that they do like me. My friends like me. I am lovable." Focusing on the positives will train your brain to not react to small circumstances in a self-deprecating way :) I hope this helps!!

If your friends hated you, would they be your friends? If they hated you, would they share their smiles or their laughter? If they hated you, would they try to make you laugh or comfort you in your sad times? People don't spend time with people they hate. They don't hate you. Maybe you actually hate yourself that's why you're scared that they do too. Don't hate yourself. Love yourself. Love every little flaw of yours and you will eventually see the reason why your friends love you and not hate you.

Talk to them. Honesty is the best policy. If they truly value you and your feelings, they will listen, and try their best to make you feel better. And if things don't go as planned.. At least you'll stop living in a lie and start searching for new friends who will make you feel less like an outsider. Good luck!

Write down a list of five things your friends do that show that they care about you. Then you can refer to it when you have those thoughts, and add to it as well.