At night I get bad thoughts about my parents dying and I always cry and I can't sleep. Can I get some ideas on dealing with this?

Sometimes when we lose someone important in our lives, we become afraid that others will leave us, too. The pain and grief can spread, and we can become anxious and sad. I wonder if that's what has happened with you? Regardless, there are ways to help with this! It's possible to "talk back" to the thoughts. For example, THOUGHT: "I imagine my mom and dad dead. I couldn't stand it! I would be all alone and my whole life would be empty. I feel so bad right now just thinking about it!" TALK BACK: "it would be very, very sad if my parents died. But, when I think about it, I also know it is very unlikely. They are in good health. They are still alive, I have NOT lost them at all. My sad feeling comes from thinking about them being dead, but it is a distorted thought because they are alive and well. I don't have to have this sad feeling because it's based on a thought that is made up." I also encourage you to reach out to 7cups for a chat, it can help! good luck.

Sorry to hear you're dealing with this, I remember going through this myself. Often times, these fears stem from something that's bothering us in real life, like the fear of being alone or social anxiety, it often shows up in our subconscious thoughts. The best thing to do when you begin experiencing these things is to clear your mind, and focus on your breathing only. Examine where these thoughts are coming from and when they first start, as there might be a trigger. This may also be a symptom of OCD, where there are reoccurring thoughts of something dangerous like being a victim of theft or fire. Our brain sometimes plays imagery of terrifying thoughts, because we evolved to do so, in order to know how to react if something like that ever occurred in real life. The good new is, it most likely won't; these are just thoughts. If meditation does not work, and this is causing you distress, seek professional help. There are programs designed to help you work through these feelings.

Thinking about your parents is a very natural thing to do ... we all think often and in many ways about those we love, and this might sometimes include how we would go on without them. The more we love someone, the more we think about them and what they bring to our lives ... and how much we would lose when they are no longer with us. Some people can take great reassurance from their religion or beliefs in respect of the death of a loved one, and this can bring its own comfort and inner peace of course. For those who don't have a religion they follow, they can also find solace in the happy memories they have ... and as a family group, they can help each other through the bereavement process. And of course there is professional help available through bereavement counselling if that becomes necessary. But these are all things to consider when we know something is definitely going to happen and we want to prepare ourselves, or after the event of losing someone has actually happened. Losing loved ones is part of that natural processes of life, and an experience that the majority of us go through at some point. But it is something we need to try to keep in its place, and try not to think too much about it until we are faced with it. Your parents would not want you to be spoiling your own happiness by thinking about such events until it becomes a necessary issue to face. It is something that needs to be compartmentalised as best we can .. kept in a space in the back of our minds until it needs to be faced. It may be worth talking to your parents about the fears and thoughts you have ... and tell them what you feel and why. By doing this, your parents will be able to reassure you and comfort you, and explain to you why you shouldn't be dwelling on this issue until it becomes absolutely necessary. If you feel that you are spending way too much time on this then maybe you need to talk it through more deeply, and look at the reasons why it is coming to the forefront of you mind and how you might deal with it. Also, you might try doing something that you enjoy in the couple of hours before you sleep, Begin to ease your mind and stop it from becoming over-active by doing something that will divert and occupy your mind in a pleasant way. Only you will know what you really enjoy .. and use the diversion to help calm your mind and ease you into a sleep mode. If you feel the thoughts coming into your mind, try watching something light on TV, or read a magazine or a book etc. In the couple of hours before you sleep, do as much as you can to help you relax ... take a warm bath, do a little light exercise etc ... and try to think logically so that you can better control the emotional thinking that makes you cry the gloomy thoughts begin. We can none of us change the inevitability that one day we will all lose our parents, but learning to accept this as part of the life process, is a common part of our development as mature human beings. And because it is a common and shared human experience, we have seen that it can be dealt with successfully ... and that it is something that we should only need to think about when absolutely necessary. Your parents would prefer that you enjoyed your life and to do that, you need good sleep, so they would not want you to be sad and losing sleep on such thoughts. So relax yourself as best you can, talk to your parents and try to compartmentalise such thoughts. And don't forget, there is usually plenty of support to help us all through difficult times and worries we have! Talking to someone we trust is always a great way to deal with anything that troubles us!!

Have you talked to them about this? Perhaps telling them about these thoughts can bring comfort. I wish you the best of luck!

Hi sorry to hear that. I understand how you feel. I feel the same way sometimes. And I'm worried. However it is said that 90% of what we worry about never happens. And if something is about to happen eventually, unfortunately there is nothing that we can do to stop it. Worrying is not going change anything. How about trying cherishing and enjoying every day that you have with them. It is a choice - you can spend lots of time worrying which does no good or make full use of the time to enjoy every minute with your parents and be happy.

Hi, my names Mia. It sounds like you are experiencing insomnia. As an active listener of 7 cups, I’d be glad to lend you a hand

It sounds like separation anxiety. Parents are a great source of safety and losing them could shake your world. But to think of it all the time, means you are in a period of your life where you don't feel safe. I was like that when I lost my dear grandmother. Grief made me like that and fear. While it's normal to be scared and sad when you think of your parents passing away, if you think of it constantly to the point it affects your sleep and health, it means you need to ind the underlying causes that make you overthink :)

I agree with everything the other contributors are saying, but if you continue to have trouble calming your brain down to fall asleep, taking a bit of melatonin about half an hour before you regularly go to bed can be helpful as well. Your body naturally produces melatonin, so it is not harmful. I also take it on nights when I cannot stop my brain from going into overload, and I can say it helps a lot! However, being an anxious person and having anxiety can often make a person think the absolute worst. I used to think that every time I heard of a new disease that I could get it, and that worry controlled my life. But remember, that's not going to happen! Remind yourself that your parents are in good health, they are happy, and everything will be ok. And if your problem continues, try talking with your parents about it. I'm sure this will help. Best wishes.

I know how hard this feeling is. It's not about parents only but about those we love. The best idea I can come up with is do a lot of activities during the day that make you both : tired and happy. At the end of the day you'll feel so tired that you can not think of anything. You'll just fall asleep. In case you couldn't sleep in one of the nights, try to read a book that talks about positivity - positive thinking, etc... Watch a comedy, or anything you like as long as it doesn't involve sadness, neither death.

Some ideas to help deal with this would be sharing this with someone or type it in a doc to share with people you are close too.