Why did I ever start drinking?

This question is one that lots of people ask! And the truth is, it's a good question. If a person feels he or she is now drinking too much, it's helpful to explore why the person started drinking so much in the first place. To discover whether he was trying to numb the intolerable pain of rejection by his father -- whether she was self-medicating the grief when her child died -- or whether it seemed like ordinary college boozing that was supposed to be harmless. Maybe the drinking started in order to dull the anxiety of daily life. When we can understand the reasons, we can work toward better ways to cope with rejection, loss, socializing, loneliness, anxiety. There are much better ways to deal with our vulnerability and feel better. And if we need medication, a physician can help provide a medicine that will work better than alcohol and have fewer risks!

i started drinking to b part of the in crowd and to b accepted by other but then it became a crutch for emotional pain then a habit then a curse

There could be many possibilities. Only you know the true reason. It could be to cope from something that has been hurting you inside.

Drinking bring joy to some extent. You drink to seek joy. Why did you drink? Because you are unhappy, you have no hope in the future so you desperately seek joy in something else( here is drinking). How to stop drinking? Make future plan and hope.

This is a question only you can answer. Mostly people start because the feel sad or like they can't accomplish anything, so that they can forget, sometimes it is because they have the wrong friends and other times they start out because they want to get more excitement into their life. Whatever the reason for you is, the only thing that really matters now is, that you noticed that it has a bad inpact on your life. You should try to get help from friends anda professional, there are also a lot of (anonymous) group therapies, that might help you. When you feel like drinking, do something else to distract yourself, like watching a movie, drinking tea, meeting (non alcoholic) friends or going out, just lettingthe sun warm your heart. Try to recall in what situations you have the urge to drink and try your best to avoid them. Also you should take care that you don't have alcohol at home anymore, so it is not available when you want to. Think about a dream you have, bungeejumping, paragliding, going to France or whatever YOUR dream is. Have a piggybank - one you have to destroy to get money out of it, maybe one out of glass, so you can see your acomplishments - and put the money you'd normally spend on alcohol inside it. And one day - when you have been clean for a while - you use the money for your dream as a award for being so strong! I believe in you!

I thought that it was cool at the time and everyone did it. I only started drinking to fit in but then I loved the way alcohol made me feel.

I started drinking - and I know this sounds cliche - because I was at a party with other people who were drinking that I thought were cool. Through highschool I drank alone, which was particularly dumb given my diabetes and my alcoholic sibling. I only recently stopped this past year (in my last year of college) because I attacked my roommate and his girlfriend. I wish that I could say that it was the first red flag, but it certainly wasn't. I guess this is just to say that I don't know if it's ever going to be the first red flag that gets you to stop, but that doesn't make you a bad person - making the choice is hard.