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Things no one tells you about Self-Harm: Trigger Warning
by Jenna
Last post
 November 14th
...See more Everyone mentions the same things when they talk about self-harm. This is what I wish someone told me about self-harm before I fell into its tight gripping claws. 1) It's not only the cuts/bruises/burns/scratches that you have to hide. You have to hide the bloodied tissues, the used band-aids, the band-aid wrapper, and the thing you used to harm. 2) When you shower the dried blood drips out of your band-aid and down your body creating little dark red, almost brown, colored streams. It scares you at first because you think it's opened again. 3) It becomes an addiction. It becomes the only thing that helps. 4) It eventually doesn't help anymore but you keep doing it in the hope it will. 5) Your body will scar and at first, you will like it but eventually, you get sick looking at them. 6) On a bad day, you run out of space. 7) Your band-aids will soak through your jeans or top after a shower and make an obvious square or rectangle patch. 8) They start to smell bad if not looked after. 9) You constantly think about them. 10) Your sleep will hurt and every move you make will too when they are fresh. You act as you like it. You don't. 11) People will never take it seriously enough. 12) They itch like mad whilst they heal. 13) You eventually get frustrated if it has no effect. 14) You don't cry when you do it. You feel nothing. Not. A. Thing. 15) It's so so so hard to escape it. 16) It isn't beautiful. It isn't a fairy tale. It won't help you find love. It is a monster that ruins lives. Please think of all these things before you hurt yourself. You don't want to. I sound like a hypocrite because I do but trust me, you don't want to fall down the dark hole that I and many other people are already in. Put down your fist, blade, lighter, cut your nail short, and get help.
Shine Bright: I am SH-free for ____ Days
by ASilentObserver
Last post
 November 6th
...See more Well done! 💪✨  (Number) days free from self-harm is a significant accomplishment.  Please take a moment to acknowledge your strength and resilience and celebrate with us. Here are a few points to reflect on and celebrate:  * What helped you stay strong these past few days? Was it a specific coping mechanism, a supportive person, or a personal mantra? Share your tips to inspire others. * What positive changes have you noticed since being SH-free? Maybe you have more energy, better sleep, or a renewed sense of hope. Reflect on the progress you've made. * What are you looking forward to in the future? Use this milestone as a springboard for setting new goals or focusing on activities you enjoy. * Write a message to your future self: What words of encouragement would you tell yourself for the days ahead? Start sharing with us. We believe in you. 
SHA #4: Calming Affirmations for Difficult Moments
by ASilentObserver
Last post
 March 22nd
...See more Hello all,  Group Support organizing the month of Self-Harm Awareness Week,  the focus will be on discussing general awareness, and support, and celebrating milestones and small steps. This will be an opportunity for all of us to come together and extend our support and compassion to all who struggling with self-harm.  Life throws its curveballs, and sometimes we feel like we're drowning. You might be feeling overwhelmed and lost, and in those moments, the urge to self-harm might arise as a way to cope.   When you find yourself in those moments, having a set of affirmations can help ground you and bring a sense of calm. Affirmations are powerful tools that can shift your mindset and provide comfort in difficult times. Here are some affirmations you can repeat to yourself when you feel overwhelmed or tempted to harm yourself.  * "This feeling is temporary. I will get through this."  * "I am worthy of love and support. I will reach out for help." You deserve to feel safe and cared for.  * "I am strong and capable. I have faced challenges before, and I can face this one too." You are more resilient than you think. * "My pain does not define me. I am more than my struggles." Pain is a part of life, but it doesn't have to control your existence. You are a complex and worthy person. * "I will focus on what I can control, my breath, my thoughts, and my actions."  * "There is help available. I will find a healthy way to cope." Self-harm is not the answer. There are healthier ways to deal with difficult emotions.  * "I am worthy of healing. I will take steps towards feeling better today." Start small, with one positive step towards self-care. * "I deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion, especially by myself. I choose to be gentle with myself in times of distress." * "I am not alone in this. Some people care about me and want to support me through this struggle." * "My worth is not defined by my struggles or mistakes. I am inherently valuable just as I am." * "I have the power to choose how I respond to this situation. I choose to respond with love and understanding towards myself." * "I acknowledge my pain, but I also acknowledge my capacity for healing and growth. I am worthy of healing." * "I forgive myself for any past mistakes or shortcomings. I choose to let go of self-blame and embrace self-compassion." Please know that affirmations are most effective when repeated regularly and with conviction. Find the affirmations that resonate with you the most and make them a part of your daily self-care routine. If you are struggling with self-harm, please reach out for support. You are not alone, and there is hope for healing. We are all here with you to listen to and support you.  If you have any affirmation that you use, please share it with us here. Also, let's discuss and share our experiences with affirmations during overwhelming moments. All thoughts are welcomed.  ------------------------- Other posts in the SHA series:  SHA #3: Role of Acceptance & Validation [https://www.7cups.com/forum/selfharm/General_2451/SHA3RoleofAcceptanceValidation_325495/] SHA #2: "Safe Plan" for people with self-harm issue [https://www.7cups.com/forum/selfharm/InformationandResources_1079/SHA2SafePlanforpeoplewithselfharmissue_323303/] SHA #1: Do you think self-harm defines you?  [https://www.7cups.com/forum/selfharm/General_2451/SHA1Doyouthinkselfharmdefinesyou_324983/]
TW
by willingField2786
Last post
 14 hours ago
...See more hi, i’m new here and i just wanted to share. i started self-harm when i was 11 years old in 6th grade. at first, a friend did it to me (with my consent) and i just thought it was normal to do and it didn’t mean anything. i started doing it to myself randomly, not even to cope, just to do it and i would show it to people, idk why i did that. i stopped doing it for a while and relapsed. in the summer after 8th grade year, i had a bf who would tell me things such as if i wasn’t clean he wouldn’t be clean either. there were a lot of other things he said to me but i don’t want to share. when i was dating him (we’re broken up now), we took a picture together and it was bad angle and he said i looked fat in it. i relapsed because of that and ever since then, i haven’t been able to stay clean for more than a week. i’ve tried things to distract me (breathing, coloring, painting, snapping a rubber band, holding ice) and those distractions haven’t really seemed to help, and i haven’t really been trying to stay clean.
i did it again (Trigger Warning)
by Helloimjay
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more i self harmed myself again. i felt guilty for doing something and i just panicked. i feel so bad for doing it. i can’t get out of this endless void. i need help.
hi
by lucille333
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Hi, I'm new here... I'm really scared to open up to someone, even here, and that's pushing me to avoid starting a conversation with anyone. Any advice?
~
by venusnebula
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more heyy in venus and ive been 19days clean from SH but today again i got like a really bad urge to hurt myself. idk what to do. I really dont want to relapse cuz i told myself i would be clean for atleast 50days
trigger warning shamed
by stormieandpaws
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more not sure why this still bothering me so much. years ago was with mom at store and a lady we never met befor was in line ahead of us. mom did not know her but they started talking. then mom said to her this is my crazy daughter  who cuts herself. we felt  so much shame over it still do.  we been self harm free for few years  now,  but it a daily fight for us too. my mom shamed us a lot even as a child. she know my brothers were sexually and other ways abusing us too. but she turned away from us left us being abused. we know now this was due to her whole life being abused. but that not make it right but get that her normal too. so she also kelp saying you know when you hurt yourself your hurting me. family made fun of our self harm a lot. we just learned that things we did even before 2yr was self harm but no one at all ever tried to help us as a kid. we remember very young pulling handfuls of hair out and biting self even hitting head on wall. mom only punish us or would say wait until your dad get home. we use to sneak  moonshine out of icebox and then put water in the jar to make look like none was gone. but that numbed us. did that from like 3yr and up to around yr. same with cutting started at around 7yr. no one said a thing to us about the cuts. no one even asked about how we got hurt. mom would tell others we was accident  prom people believed her. we stopped all self harm around 12yrbut we started  back up when was expecting our son, thank due to we started having flashbacks hearing alters too. also my girls who both looked like me when i was child were around same ages that the worst of the sexual abuse happened at. but this time was way worst even to point had staples in my one leg. mom used me to get pity she when we went into pychward or had been in ER she call others. she say things like she went to ER again cut self really bad or she back in pychward. even when we was losing our 3 kids to government  she made it about her and seek pity from everyone. this did not help me at all as it put me in a self harm cycle. but when we moved  away from family  in may of 2017 the self harm got less and less. then stopped thinking mom shaming us  played buf role in the self harm. as a child  think it was us seeking to be seen and cared for too. but also to be saved and well just loved. mom abused us too but that even brings more shame and makes us sick what she did to us.  it one of the things been hard to talk about too. people think moms can not abuse their girls in way we talking about. think mom kinda feed our need to self harm as she got attention and pity from others. more we learn about what seen as self harm we see we did it from young age up. feel good to be self harm free at this time and we safe too.
self harm urges and venting
by daisyduck13
Last post
 3 days ago
...See more Hi everyone I've been self harming for a while but clean for almost a month now. Now I get the urge to self harm whenever something unexpected or disappointing happens. Usually the urges go away within like 3h but today is different. I just got an exam back in a subject that I'm usually average in (grades B-C, more like C). I got a D on it and that's disappointing not only because I'm usually better at school in general but also because that's my first ever D I've gotten. I obviously haven't studied really hard but I surely didn't expect that outcome. My oral grades are usually pretty bad because I'm really shy (might be social anxiety) so they won't make the grade any better. I don't know how I can change my oral grade to be at least a good C so that I might get a C on the report card. All I know is that I don't want a D on my report card because of the exam (I'm okay with having bad grades because of my oral grades but not because of my written exams). Does/Did someone experience a similar situation and/or could give some advice against the self harm urges (since they mostly occur in those situations)?
.
by hyunjinnn
Last post
 Monday
...See more i feel numb
4 times……
by DPRESSD44
Last post
 Monday
...See more last year, I was down bad, I mean I’m still down bad but last year I was really down bad. I 12 years old, the first trauma inducing incident was around June when I was telling my cousin about my gender orientation some guy started screaming at me about “god made you a man!” And “f- you!” I never really believed in Christianity, I still don’t. The next thing that happened, I remember the exact day, September 15th, my cat was thrown into a table by my dog Marley, killing her in seconds, I was right there. I buried her the following Saturday. Around November, I went to school one day and I had forgotten to take my medicine, I got a horrible migraine that day, after school I sat in a chair in a library, I was crying because of my headache and very homophobic boys were *** about me being bisexual, next thing I know one of the boys walks up to the chair, pulls out his baguette and rubs my head with it! Then the other guy walks up to the chair I was on and flips it over, that’s when I had enough and started screaming at them, obviously the library didn’t like that so they confronted me about why I was screaming, I told them everything while balling my eyes out. Luckily there was a camera and it caught everything. I went home that day and I had a talk to my mom about it, since she’s the only one of my parents that knows I’m bisexual. About 20 days later, I had to my dog chubs down, we had chubs for 16 years prior and we were all devastated. Thats all it took for me to attempt “soul takeaway” iykyk. Through the rest of November until around Christmas I tried it 4 times… talk about Christmas cheer.
Tips to quit?
by TiredBoiTnT
Last post
 Sunday
...See more Hey, I just need some tips on when I wanna self harm, it mainly happens during school or the middle of the night, and I just need tips to help me stop, i would greatly appreciate it, thank you!!!
Getting out the otherside, finding joy
by ngalidolphin
Last post
 Sunday
...See more I’m not sure how to ask this question but I’m looking for someone that may have attempted suicide in the past. My husband has confided in me that he attempted a few months ago and failed and he has been really down lately and said his mind is all screwed up and he’s really just unsure of the future. I’m trying to help the best I can. Can someone tell me ,if they feel comfortable, if they ever were suicidal how did they come out on the other side stronger? If you feel good now, how did you get to that point from being super depressed and suicidal? How did you get through it? I’m just finding the best way to help my husband through this and be himself again if it means slowly if that makes sense and I want to speak to someone who has been there that has gotten better to see what there thoughts are being from that point of view. Thank you!
Things no one tells you about Self-Harm: Trigger Warning
by Jenna
Last post
 November 14th
...See more Everyone mentions the same things when they talk about self-harm. This is what I wish someone told me about self-harm before I fell into its tight gripping claws. 1) It's not only the cuts/bruises/burns/scratches that you have to hide. You have to hide the bloodied tissues, the used band-aids, the band-aid wrapper, and the thing you used to harm. 2) When you shower the dried blood drips out of your band-aid and down your body creating little dark red, almost brown, colored streams. It scares you at first because you think it's opened again. 3) It becomes an addiction. It becomes the only thing that helps. 4) It eventually doesn't help anymore but you keep doing it in the hope it will. 5) Your body will scar and at first, you will like it but eventually, you get sick looking at them. 6) On a bad day, you run out of space. 7) Your band-aids will soak through your jeans or top after a shower and make an obvious square or rectangle patch. 8) They start to smell bad if not looked after. 9) You constantly think about them. 10) Your sleep will hurt and every move you make will too when they are fresh. You act as you like it. You don't. 11) People will never take it seriously enough. 12) They itch like mad whilst they heal. 13) You eventually get frustrated if it has no effect. 14) You don't cry when you do it. You feel nothing. Not. A. Thing. 15) It's so so so hard to escape it. 16) It isn't beautiful. It isn't a fairy tale. It won't help you find love. It is a monster that ruins lives. Please think of all these things before you hurt yourself. You don't want to. I sound like a hypocrite because I do but trust me, you don't want to fall down the dark hole that I and many other people are already in. Put down your fist, blade, lighter, cut your nail short, and get help.
Reasons to stay clean & Skills/Coping tips
by ShyPine235
Last post
 November 13th
...See more I thought I’d share my collection of skills and reasons to stay clean, hopefully this will help some of you. I'm still very new to this site, but part of the reason I'm here is to hopefully share helpful things. Not all of the reasons or skills will work for you, I'm actually also listing some that don't do it for me, so just pick those that resonate with you. Which these are will probably change over time and that's totally okay, too. Also, it's great to find your own reasons, but I know it often seems like there aren't any. Reasons to stay clean: * to feel proud instead if guilty * so you can shower without burning pain * to break your record/last streak * so you can stop lying about having quit * so you don't have to explain yourself as much * to prove yourself how strong you are * maybe because of your religion if you have one * because the people important to you don't deserve to self harm, neither do you because you're important to someone too * to go swimming again * you have more fun when you, don't have to hide fresh wounds * no fear of going too deep/having to go to ER and being judged (which sadly can happen) * to keep your promises * remember: relapsing isn't weakness as long as you try again <3 * to wear short clothing again * if you damage your nerves, you might have a hard time doing what you love * self harm feels good for minutes and bad for months, it doesn't solve you problems but just creates more pain * some pets can pick up human emotions and you don't want yours to feel you're in pain * to be able to use certain objects for their intended purpose again without getting urges * you don't need (more) scars * wounds can get infected * to show others that recovery is possible * to gain hope again Substitution: (what to do instead) Please be careful, as some of these might make it worse for you! Some things can also progress into self-harm if you overdo them. * draw fake wounds on your skin (be careful you’re not allergic to your marker/etc., also might trigger you even more) * rip apart paper (maybe paint the edges red) * get these spiky massage balls, but made from metal  * smell essential oil * when it gets really bad maybe ammonia * put bandaids or tape on your skin and carefully rip/take it off again * website: fatal to the flesh * put bandages/bandaids on like you self harmed, but you actually didn’t * eat spicy food * cut your hair because that doesn’t hurt you * snap a rubber band/elastic on your wrist * do some sports * kill some weeds in the garden/outside * put ice cubes on your skin * cut or scratch wood instead of yourself * take a cold shower * cut paper/cardboard * punch a pillow Distraction: * promise yourself to wait for 30min (or any other time that is doable but still hard) * cuddle your pet/s * watch clouds move * do breathing exercises (or don’t, I start panicking) * dance * cook or bake something nice * do a Duolingo lesson * style your hair * solve a Rubik’s cube * do yoga * go on a walk * clean your room * put on nail polish (makes you feel pretty and helps to keep your hand occupied) * watch a funny video to cheer yourself up * watch a movie * listen to music * put on make-up * hug someone * read * draw something * play a game/video game * write a short story * write poetry Dealing with your emotions: * find out why you have urges and try to remove the reason * look back on good moments (make a list) * look at things you can control (make a list) * look at things you’re grateful for (make a list) * write down your feelings/journal * talk to somebody * positive affirmations * paint your feelings * smile * read a letter to yourself (write one when you are feeling better!)

Hello, and welcome to the Self-Harm Recovery Subcommunity! It’s great to have you here, and we are proud of you for making the first brave step in reaching out for support. This is our supportive, safe and friendly environment, and we are glad to have you here 😃. Feel free to direct any questions to the appropriate leader of our community, which you can find at the bottom of the about section. ⭐️

🌟 Feel free to say hello and introduce yourself! Or if you want to just browse for now that is okay too! Take your time. We have several topics in our community such as the goals and success corner, recovery zone, support area and much more! Please use the relevant topic where appropriate so we can keep our community organised🌟

🌟 Please make sure to read through our community guidelines and browse our resources available 🌟

🌟 To join our community leadership team feel free to look through Here for the requirements and apply to join our team 🌟

🌟 Again, thank you for joining our community, and we look forward to seeing your progress on your journey! If you have any questions, please reach out to the relevant leader 😊

Community Guidelines

These guidelines are inspired by some communities around 7 cups! This is so we can adapt our little family to accommodate as many different life experiences and situations as possible. We recognize we cannot adapt to every circumstantial rule. However, we have outlined some of the common guidelines needed for our community. ❤️

✪ Please do not share any graphic images or descriptions of self-harm tools!

✪ Please do not mention the name of any tools used for self-harm in any area of the self-harm recovery community.

✪ Names of methods of self-harm are allowed to be shared in the group support room, but where possible please try to exchange a method name for the phrase "self-harm".

✪ When mentioning methods of self-harm or potentially triggering details of another topic in the forums, please put a trigger warning at the top of the post so people are able to click away from the post if they would like to. Additionally, please try to find an appropriate place within our forums to make your post. Certain areas are reserved for specific content, so please consider this when making your post.

✪ Pro-self-harm content will not be tolerated!

✪ Please be respectful to everyone, members and listeners alike.

✪ Remember, everyone's experiences are different. Please do not undermine or invalidate anyone's situation because it is not what most would consider "normal". We are a diverse community and have people from many backgrounds, so please always be respectful!

✪ General kindness, courtesy, and etiquette are heavily appreciated!

Read the 7 Cups Guidelines