Struggling

I am Laura and I will be 49 next month, and I have just been diagnosed with a specific disorder under Disruptive, Impulse Control, and Conduct Disorders (so not just NOS--not otherwise specified), which has pretty much sent me into a deep depression, even though I know I have been this way for my whole life and that I shouldn't be surprised by the diagnosis. I don't like saying the name of it, but you can probably guess what it is. It is very rare and is the most dangerous disorder under this category on the DSM-V...so take a guess.

I have a super-supportive husband of 25 years who has been my rock, even through the year I had been incarcerated for committing crimes directly related to my disorder. We have 5 children: almost 21 (in college and will graduate May 2021 with a degree in filmmaking, directing, etc.)-g, 17-b,15-b,12-g,and 9-b.

My hubby of 25 years is supportive, even through serving one year exactly in prison (1/3/19 to 1/3/20) for committing crimes directly related to my disorder. I had gotten caught in the act, so to speak.

I feel like an oddball wherever I go and though not many people actually remember what I had done (it had made the local paper and the Internet), there are still some who are terrified of me. I am a felon now, and considered to be a dangerous person (mildly dangerous).

I am done for now. I am tired and the urge to do what I do is very strong.

Hello, I guess.