Hi I am new, never used forums before. I feel like i need to get help and support..

Hi, im Mint.
I have depression and anxiety, and im broke.
I am scared of finding and going to work, i feel lonely. I get neusea when my phone is ringing or i need to go somewhere get things done. I worked for 3 years before but had to quit because of my boss's financial struggles. In that time i felt ok, just had trouble with sleeping, because of breathlesness, had mild panic attacks sometimes - but cloud function ok.
I thought that my anxiety then got away and i can firstly renovate my apartament and move out of my parents flat.(my father is extremely toxic) But money that i put aside quickly drained and i am left with half done apartament, rest is still under renovation, and i cant go there.. (no bathroom, or place for beds). And now after months of unenployment i am scared to go. I am scared of people judging me. I feel so tired all the time..
When i was a kid i had problems with getting friends or they were toxic, i was always sensitive and naive with poor self-esteem - so they cloud use me or make a fool out of me. Now I feel extreme caution toward every person, i think what they might think of me, and i feel shameful and sad.
I feel like dissappearing almost everyday, because i am a failure in adult life. Recently i cry a lot which is new.
Also when i was in extreme sadness it was the first time i self harmed myself..i never did that before, it felt like i just turned off. I dont know what to do.
I hope to talk to some nice people..
sorry for my mistakes in writing, i write quickly and english is my secondary language.