@jessbess913 Hi! Difficult feelings can be challenging and sometimes we can only sit with them for brief periods of time. Sometimes a distraction is a useful strategy too, but only when it isn’t the only strategy. One thing I find helpful is thinking of my feelings are like the weather. They always change, they come and go, without my permission. It helps to notice them like I notice a cloud, the cloud is not me, it is just there. If I stare at it for a long time I will see it change and eventually disappear. I can’t make the cloud to disappear with willpower. The emotional cloud in my head can sometimes be coaxed to disappear, not by wishing it go but by watching it and just allowing it to be there. It helps to think about it as separate from me. So instead of saying to myself, “I feel sad”, it’s “oh, I see sadness is here.” Sometimes it helps to think of the feeling as a welcome visitor. “Hello sadness, nice to see you.” Because if we fight the feelings saying, “Sadness go away, I hate you, get out of here,” the feeling seems to make up its mind to never go away.
Feelings come from thoughts. It can be difficult to “think them away” for bad feelings or “think them into existence” for good feelings. Sometimes though, we can notice that thoughts that are racing through our minds. We can choose to “jump off” the thought train when we notice we are on it. Mindfulness meditation is a great way to learn to notice when we have let our thoughts take us on an emotional rollercoaster ride and how to jump off. Mindfulness taught me how to be a better friend to myself.