Getting unstuck and following through
Frustrated, down trotted and blinking in between from despair to hope, it seems every time i try to cross the finish line i always fall short or my victories are taken away, been trying to get out of my state for the passed 6 years, everytime i get a few things from vital records, money for stability and or path opens up, they always dissipate, i need some extra help in crossing the finish line.
Been one upping on stoicism, my Bible and reaching out, but they only blink a little in and out, been cut off from friends and family i've been sipping in and out of light and dark, trying to stay afloat is nearly impossible, have to one up on my three pillars of work, gym and church, having only one pillar is never enough, have to get to the other two, i feel somewhat in despair and have to stop my mind from slipping, so if i can't have a social worker, pastor or friend to talk to i figure i try small increments to camp up my focus on getting my pillar and rhythm back into place, this is incredibly difficult, but with the right help i think i can over come it.
@Simpleman123
Hi man123.
Welcome to 7Cup! So glad you're here. You can have a listener talking 1:1 - some may be tried before you get a "right" one. Or you can come to the sharing circle.
Good luck to you.
From your friend Helga.
Hi I need a 1on 1 listener
@agreeableBanana2580
Hi Banana.
I hope you'll find a nice listener. It might be that you have to try some before you find one that is good for you. All the best.
Helga.
Hello there.
I'm sorry to read that you're feeling this way. I have certainly been there myself so I completely understand. Sometimes it feels like we are just treading water. Thankfully, small changes, both in action and thought, can have a big impact on how we're feeling.
What came to mind when I was reading your post is that I'm not sure exactly what you mean by the "finish line". I find it more helpful to think of life as less of a race and more of journey.
Of course, most of us have milestones we want to achieve and routines that we want to maintain. These things are healthy but they're not life itself. When I was reading, this quote from John Lennon comes to mind:
Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.
Sometimes the joy of life can become hidden behind beliefs about what we "should" or "need" to do. Your three pillars sound excellent but I wonder if there are other ways that you can bring joy, peace and happiness into your life to break this cycle.
Although it may sound trite, time with friends and/or family, exploring hobbies, art and music can all bring something extra and fulfilling to life. It can take a while to figure out what those things are and how to balance them. It can also be hard to fit things into your schedule. However, the act of engaging in activities for the sake of joy and interest can inject something extra into life with a halo effect on your feelings about life itself. Even if it is just for 10 minutes a week.
Perhaps it might also be useful to keep a journal to reflect on any negative thoughts. Tracking when your mood changes occur can be useful for better understanding any negative repetitious thoughts that need to be challenged. You may also wish to use a journal to log your achievements so that you can see how far you have come and reflect on all the positive actions that you're taking.
Bear in mind that progress is rarely linear. And that is perfectly okay - we all have good days and bad. The trick is to avoid spiralling by focusing on the positive experiences and forgiving any "mistakes" or bad days as you continue on this journey of life.
I hope this has been of use to you. Please do not hesitate to get in touch if you'd like to talk further. I can certainly empathise and I'd be happy to lend a sympathetic ear. Sending positive wishes to you.
All the best :)
@AffinityAmi
btw, great response
@AffinityAmi
Very well written!
@Helgafy
It is also important to stay in our own lane, we shouldn’t change stances and lanes too often, as that causes disparity and you become partial, double minded, it’s like trying to tell a construction worker to now take up a ballerina class, and vice verse, a ballerina instructor would fall to pieces and be overwhelmed if they had to come work hard labor in demolition, this is why it’s important to stay in our own lanes, i cant work this security job for longer as this is not my trade, craft and what/who I am or operate on. This job is a job that makes you focus more on others than yourself, so I have to bounce back fast, to my lane and my zone.
Im almost there, it was tough because I was coming out of a ditch and got somewhat of stability and discernment back, only to have my truck break down and losing my place a couple of times, you cannot think straight when you have no foundation, my state is the second highest of all states in terms of cost to rent, so staying afloat is ridiculously hard, it also comes with backsliding can cost you everything if you do not act decisively. I dropped the ball several times, to a point of too overwhelming to bare, but like the saying goes, it’s not how far down you fall, it’s how high you can bounce back. So I will have to fix these last few things and cross my finish line to liberation and fulfillment.
My biggest problems were trying to help others, I have to take care of myself first, which is hard when you don’t have the right counsel and aid, reliable friends, and outlets like the work, gym and church, i must apply what some of the wise men like Jim rhon, Brian tracey, Les brown and Jack Canfield has stated in their seminars and books, like Jim’s which I must use, as I use to say if I take care of you, and you take care of me, now I say, I’ll take care of me for you, and you can take care of you, for me. But like the rational shows us, we must stick consistent to encouraging and progressive people, it is a profound principle both in common sense, literature, science and in wise men who say that we must be around people who are positive, have good principles, values and virtuous, that is how we keep going forward, and not backsliding, going no where by hanging around with the wrong people. Ultimately I have to accept that I can only get so much help from certain outlets, and have to make the decisions to leave as there never will be a perfect timing, I fell short of that several times, but will take the bull by the horns and understand that this is my life, my choice, I decide to leave, and fulfill my ikigai/purpose/fulfillment.
Thanks again friends, almost there, just have to get over these last few hurdles.
@AffinityAmi
thanks friend, I know what you’re saying, that it won’t end once I cross the finish line, but for me a lot of things will end, I have to let go and those things will end and new beginnings will start.
The problem with me is, I’ve been in the same state for so long that I’m like a plant in a pot, the roots can only go so far, I can never become a tree if I’m in the same pot, you can give me miracle grow all you want, either I will put grow the pot and still grow, or the miracle grow will end up shocking the plant, a plant if intended to be a large tree of not taken out of the pot will suffocate in the pot and die.
I understand that it won’t be easier once I cross the finish line, but it will be liberating, fullfilling and allow me to grow, reform and change. My three pillars helps me concentrate and do hold myself together, there is understanding in each house.
If I was allowed to atleast work the jobs I have both gratification for and understanding, I would be more glued together, but I am partial and clinging together because the work I am doing is detrimental and derogatory. But I must keep my eyes on my priorities, goal and fulfillment, I know if I can bounce back fast and cross the finish line, I can turn the page and get to the next chapter.
Thank you friends for the encouraging words, almost there, just have to finish strong and wise, by being diligent, and go from simple to prudent. Tap into sound counsel, and turn long suffering to joy and stern/firm steadfastness.
@Simpleman123
I'm really glad you communicated with AffinityAmi. Maybe you also choose to have her as a listener.
So friend - I hope that God/Jesus Christ will make "all your scars become into stars".
Great love from your friend Helga.
@Helgafy
thanks helgafy. Still struggling. Have to be discipline, steadfast and obedient.
So damn hard.
@AffinityAmi
Mind, Body and spirit.
@Simpleman123
Hi friend. As you probably know you can also write to @AffinityAmi 1:1. She's a listener.
Still grinding, have to tag in and keep up, no procrastinating, no time for worrying, mistakes will come, keep going anyway, anxieties and all.
Damn if I do, and damn if I don’t, either way I damned, so just do it anyway.
If you can’t be wise, atleast try to be less unwise. Ignorance is not bliss, ignorance is poverty.
When there is no struggle, there is no progress. Turn the page.
Limping is still moving.
@Simpleman123
Yes my friend - it is.
Frustrated, pissed off, and channeling that into one priority at a time.
The man who moves a mountain, starts by carrying small stones.
- Confucius
Be content to progress in slow steps until you have legs to run and wings with which to fly
- Pio Petriclina
Through sleep, you disconnect from the world so that you can reconnect with your soul.
- Jennifer Williamson
The first requisite of success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem without growing weary.
-Thomas A. Edison
When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.
- Napoleon Hill
It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.
- Winston churchill
A body in motion, tends to stay in motion.
- Isaac Newton.
There is more honor in accumulating little by little than in reaching for the sky and ending up flat on your face.
- Havamal
When you talk about shit its a dream.
When you envision it it’s exciting.
When you plan it it’s possible.
When you schedule it, it’s real.
Top it off with.
Those who do not move, do not notice their chains.
-Rosa Luxemburg
@Simpleman123
Hi friend - you have you're own space here at 7Cup. How are you?
"It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.
- Winston Churchill" I like this one. I also like "Those who do not move, do not notice their chains. Rosa Luxemburg" - ha.ha. That's me!
@Helgafy
Just like Jesus said…
Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Take care of the little things first and you will be able to handle the bigger things.
Goal to goal, accomplishment to accomplishment, priority to priory.
@Simpleman123
Wonderful written 123. I hope this will be a fine day for the both of us, and for our new friend decisiveSouth also.
@Helgafy
True, we cant help everyone, but we can help some.
Also, this is why I usually post in my own threads, because I’d like to tackle my own problems and get advice from people who want to aid me.
Always can use more help, more reproof, and good criticism, is also good as well, for we can’t just be yes man, good mentorship is to pointing out our flaws.
Like David and Solomon says, open rebuke, is better than concealed love. Just have to get it in the right places. I don’t like conversing on mega sites like Reddit or twitter, I use them as a glance and to only learn stuff you can’t find on some sites, but rather stay out of politics and crap. Thats why I post only on things that is meaning for me and can help me carry over.
Still disappointed in a lot of stuff didn’t fall together, but am going to see it through, for persistency and resilience is key. I dont seek happiness, i face adversity, i understand that joy comes from king suffering, still have some things I’d like to fix about my self, but once the motor and gears are running, I will take off like a freight train and be in complete go mode. Unwavering, and on track. Than it will be a challenge to stay on track.
As Solomon says, i wisdom dwell with prudence, damn near simple is hard, and prudence is in another animal. But it’s all doable. Just keep plugging it in. All the way.
I feel ashamed for crying all the time, when I think others are facing worse situations than what I am in. I feel like I'd take the help away from those who need it more than I do, but maybe it's not even true. I've got nobody to turn to in my environment. They would judge me, or I would just bother them. The one, who understood me.in.every situation, may never.return, and.that's breaking me. I am losing my appetite, keep forgetting my medicine, and constantly cry. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this, truly. And I'm ashamed that maybe, I'm just whining... I need someone who gives me any kind of advice, who tells me Im not a burden. Otherwise, I'll fall apart, collapse under pressure...
Excuse me if it was too long...
Best regards,
Raven
@decisiveSouth3128
Its okay to cry, as king even King David cried out to God, in distress, this is us being honest and wanting aid and help, we all need help…
Psalms 13:1 (To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David.) How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
Psalms 13:2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?
Psalms 13:3 Consider and hear me, O LORD my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death;
Psalms 13:4 Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved.
Psalms 13:5 But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.
Psalms 13:6 I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.
Even the mightiest men and women cry, this sometimes is good, for where their is sorrow, their is understanding, in those times use it to follow through in what you’re trying to do and accomplish.
Sorrow is better than laughter. For fools laugh in a time of distress or consideration. But people who acknowledge sorrow and grief, gain understanding.
Than from there we must do things that remedy the heart. As too much sorrow is not good…
Proverbs 15:13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.
Confucius stated We should feel sorrow, but not sink under its oppression.”
So sorrow is a form of oppression, oppression has press in it, so things are pressing us down, best way to deal with it is to push or press back, this is why working out, is a healthy form of strengthing our selves. Much like working out the workout is called bench press, thence we are making strong our muscles that we may lack or just want to strengthen, when we also talk about our problems, we push off our sorrow, as a Swedish proverb says a shared joy is a double joy, a shared sorrow is half a sorrow. So sharing, talking, and conversing with counsel is important. Hands on is always the best, sit down with your boss, coworkers, friends or pastor. And let them know how you feel or trying to accomplish.
As they will be your reproof, and wing you off your crutch.
@decisiveSouth3128
Hi wonderful South.
Thank you so much for reaching out to 7Cup! Now you have 2 friends already, justaman123 and me. At 7Cup you can have a listener to talk 1:1 (You may have to try some before you find one that is good for you). You can also go to sharing circle where you can share or just listen to other members.
It seems like you're depressed. Maybe you need to see a doctor and get some med for that.
Stay strong!
All the best from Helga.
@decisiveSouth3128
Hi Raven,
Thank you so much for reaching out and telling us about your problems. That must've took a lot of courage, that already deserves a huge compliment, I'm proud of you.
It sounds like you're going through an incredibly hard time. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Loosing someone in any kind of way possible, or just the possibilty of them not returning, is awful. Not having anyone to turn to in need also is really hard. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you.
The listeners on 7Cups are here if you want to talk to someone. We're here for you. You are amazing for having been able to pull through all of that. And in no way would you bother us.
And dear, wonderful Raven, you really are not whining or being a burden. Sometimes we can feel like we are overreacting or whining when we think of the things other people face, is that how you're feeling? But that other people might face things we consider "worse", doesn't invalidate the hard times we face and the feelings we get from it. You're not a burden, you're an amazing human being that deserves help too. You have just as much right as all other humans to receive help. What you're feeling is valid, and you're definitely worth it, don't ever forget that ❤️.
Like Helga said, from the looks of it, it really sounds like you're depressed, is there any way you can contact a medical professional near you? For example, loosing your appetite and feeling sad, those could be signs of depression. A doctor might be able to provide you with appropiate care.
And please remember that you are not alone.
Things are hard right now, but it can truly get better, many other people in similar situations have gotten into a better place. There is a depression subcommunity on here if you'd like to check that out, you can find it here.
You're doing awesome :), and feel free to send a message if you want to talk
We also have to relay what is sincere sorrow, pain and grief from superficial ones. God will only hear our prayers when we mean it from the heart, the same ways children sometimes use tears and crying to only get what they want, I have to ask myself if this is what I want, or our Father in heaven wants. Because if we move towards him, he will hear us better, if we are far away and only speak from our lips, our prayers will be amiss.
I do need help as well, im in a rut and putting my wants before what God needs from me to be qualified for listening. I’m trying and almost there. Never give up. From despair, to hope to faith. Amen.