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Help for the helper

User Profile: Alexa647
Alexa647 May 16th

My husband is depressed and I have no idea how to help him. He doesn’t want to take meds, or go to therapy, he doesn’t want my support. We have 2 little kids, I take care of them, work (because he doesn’t want to work either and he lost his job), make chores, in and out of home. So I do everything but he still finds a way to criticize me, because I forgot to clean an inch of the table or because I gained a few pounds or because I forgot an item at the supermarket. 

I am really burned out with the overload of responsibilities. I need to understand him. I need to find a way to help him (and the family). Our financial situation doesn’t let us afford for help like nanny or cleaning lady. We have no relatives or friends. Any suggestion is welcome. If you, reader, have depression, please let me know how should I behave. Many thanks

4
User Profile: Theshark2
Theshark2 May 17th

Everything will be fine.

User Profile: Remina
Remina May 17th

@Alexa647

I am sorry to hear how he is not understanding how his behavior and lack of care for himself is impacting your life.  It sounds like it has created a lot of difficulties for you and that he is not listening or being aware. It sounds like your husband has started to rely on you to cover for him and does not realize that it is not working.  I am not sure how close your family or friends are but how do you feel about having an intervention?

Coming from someone who is always depressed, you can be depressed and work. You can be depressed and help with chores, you can be severely depressed and take care of the family. You know why? Because there is respect for your family and there is sense of responsibility. Do you think you deserve respect?

User Profile: Ameen12345
Ameen12345 May 20th

Hi 👋, the best way possible is you make him speak to you and that could happen is you guy sit together and sort the things out. Better take him to the best place where you and him spend together and had best memories together.firstly i would say you Relax yourself do not stress much because the more you stress the more you will find difficult to deal. So you need to make sure you are free with all the issues in your mind, to overcome that do some mediation for an hour which will give you clear mind and allows you to think more in broadway.

Do not give up on him, just he needs is helping hand and some one to listen to him. Hope and wish you guys reslove all the issues you are facing.