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Suicide Loss Survivor

navyDay7788 September 20th, 2021

I don’t know how to start describing my feeling. My beloved father took his life not long ago. And I can’t comprehend what was going on. There was no signs and I want to look for the answer why he chose to go so soon.


how do I deal with this. I’ve been crying like crazy not knowing what to do. It’s so hard. I’m so emotional: sad, angry, frustrated, confused, guilty, mourning, lost, heartbroken etc. I wish I saw the signs and made him stay.

2
BlueDarkAurora September 20th, 2021

@navyDay7788 I am so sorry for your loss, Day <3 The feeling of guilt/regret is so heavy around loss especially when it's so sudden. My heart goes out to you and please know that you would have done anything to help him only if you knew. Sometimes it's just so hard to recognize the signs and sometimes there aren't any to look for. It can be a lot difficult to know how to process things or our emotions when dealing with death and there is no right or wrong way. Just let out the emotions inside you in anyway that you want to, crying is okay (losing a parent is so hard), write down your thoughts, talk to someone you trust or maybe write letters to your dad expressing all that you want to say.. anything that helps. Please be gentle with yourself <3

reddblueberry October 22nd, 2021

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It's almost been 4 years since my best friend took his own life. It's a really hard thing to go through, but please know, it WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. Sometimes the signs are hard to catch.... And sometimes. There is nothing more you can do, even if you saw all the signs. Mental illness is a hard struggle. I've been on the suicidal side too, and everything you feel, is a daily fight with yourself. Loss is painful. I'm sorry you had to feel this kind of loss. Sending love.