Bullying Trauma Trigger Yesterday...

hiii everyone. so backstory, when i was in middle school, i went to a religious one because my parents thought i "needed" it. during that, i was bullied and alone for 3 full years by everyone in my grade by heavy verbal/emotional abuse. since then, I have not been the same really no matter how hard i try.

Yesterday, I was playing a game with my significant other and some other people we know (only certain amount of people can be in a group) and it was a full group but his other friend was going to join in a bit. But the one friend that I know for a while got off and texted my S.O. saying that the team was bad and it would only bring them down. But, I knew that it was because I was there since they usually play with the 2 other random people who were joined. I was practicing so much to be better and practice. I tried not to let the comment get to me, but then when there needing space for one and he said "oh we can split" and putting my S.O. with me and the other 3 play. During that, he laughed about it, knowing that it would be a funny sight. I felt humiliated, just like I felt when I was being judge and laughed at during middle school. I got off the voice chat and game and was crying, being reminded that they aren't my friends and I am not good no matter how hard I try. I was crying the rest of the night and felt the trigger of all those feelings I felt back in middle school after every day torment. It is the next day and I still feel so horrible.