‘that’s not really rape’

*trigger warning* i don’t know if it’s just me, but when i open up about my experience i get shamed like ‘it’s your fault’ or ‘that’s not really rape, there was no penetration’ and it just makes me sick. you see, it was a bad day and i had a hangout with my friends the day after. that bad day i overdosed on some pills and went to the hospital, coming home the next morning and meeting my friends. i told my best friend that i was high and messed up. he said okay. the day was fun with me completely confused. then it went to the evening, when i laid down on my friends lap. i touched his legs in a non sexual way. he thought it was a sign and touched my breast while hiding from every one else in the room. he knew i was not myself. he did it anyway, even though we had no sexual or flirtious relationship. i ran to the bathroom crying, he came in, locked the door, and took my first kiss and my second and seventh. i didn’t resist, though my mind told be to, because i was so unsober. he got up my shirt but we didn’t go down to the pants as we ran out of time. i was acting so nice. that was messed up. two weeks later i was drunk and when i got sober for some reason i came to my senses. i got taken advantage of. this was messed up. i reached out to my parents and they said that we didn’t have sex so it’s fine. my other peers tell me that i caused it. i was ashamed. i thought it was my fault, had i made the first move? this was a year ago, and i still think about it. why do people consider sex the only way for rape? there are so many ways for one to be upset and it is just the same. i want to learn how to help people like me, and that’s why i’m on 7cups. thank you for reading, and if you’ve been through something like this, know that you are valid, your experience is valid.