life is hard

Please, you and me both, friend. (@ Not being able to handle life any more) My situation is vastly different and I can't even begin to fathom what you've gone through. Stay strong, you've done it for this long. My troubles have been going on for a few years now, but essentially I haven't had a home to call my own and been tossed around between my parents for the last 2-3 years. I've even had to live at a cousins house for a period of time. It's humiliating. I've been nothing but a saint and I've gotten nothing for it. I've seen privledged kids spoiled rotten, not even trying at school either, and then I have to walk through life with all of this crap. I suppose I was sheltered too and I can't really say I'm perfect, but I damn well try my best. I don't even know what to do anymore, I've resorted to a forum board.. ME. The person who would rather sit at home all day than go to the beach and talk to people who might strike a conversation with me!

When I was 6 I went to a school for the first time and I was really happy I was going to have friends but the girls at my age didn't like me and said i was too ugly and fat to be with them. They used to tell me this every day and this happened during 4 years. I told to every adult there was in that school and nobody helped me because I was lying or the things were going to be ok in the end. So I started to eat and eat and eat.
When I was 10 I went to a new school and I got excited again but the things got screwed up again. A girl used the internet to call me awful names and I lost a lot of confidence. I kept eating and eating. My stomach couldn't take it anymore.
I started to write.
When I was 12 I finally got friends. I was so happy. But I kept eating. I had 176 pounds/80 Kg in that time. My imagination for writing become fucked up.
When I was 13 I went to a doctor because I was getting to fatter. I lost 40 pounds/18 Kg in 1 year. My grandmother died in that year and I still dream about dead people all the time. Normally I dream about the people I love dying by fire or killing themselves
When I was 14 (now) I fell in love with a boy for the first time. My best friend started to text him. The texts were all about sex and I started to her because she would show me the texts all the time and she knew it hurt but she didn't care.
Every time I would see him I would tell myself I wasn't good enough for him and I would remember the insults that were said to me and I started to feel sadder and sadder and I started to cut.
My imagination to write came back. I would write things about how I hated my best friend and how I loved him.
Now I guess I'm writing normally again.