What Are We Supposed To Do Now
I'm a survivor of sexual abuse. I was never raped, but it was nasty and it was cruel and I was confused. I blamed myself because I didn't put up much of a fight, I didn't realize at the time that that was okay. That it didn't mean that that was what I wanted. I'm still affected to this day. I think back on it and sometimes I'm paralysed, or I find it hard to breathe. Sometimes I feel like my skin is crawling and I have curl into a ball to stop shaking. Sometimes I pity him, because he was only young too when he tried to hurt me that way, and all I can think is "what the hell happened to you to make you think that doing things like that is ever okay?". But my point is, I understand that most people on this site aren't exactly psychologists, they're listeners. Most are teenagers that want to help, and they try to help, really. I think it's lovely that these strangers offer their support and their time. Sometimes when I'm having a particularly bad day I try and find someone with that little sexual abuse badge to talk to. These people tend not to be disgusted or rude necessarily, but they just repeat the same information again and again and again. I should talk to someone, I should find a hotline, I should persecute my attacker. I should do this and I should do that. I understand expressing fear, sadness, and anger shows that I'm not over it, and I will fully admit that I'm not, but I'm sick of being pushed into the same conversational rut. "Talk to someone", "No", "Please talk to someone", "No, oh wait, hang on a second I am", "I meant someone else", "Oh, thanks". These people want to help and that's very sweet, but I just wanted someone to listen. Not help unless I ask for it. If they're not comfortable hearing what I have to say, then I would appreciate the referral to someone else, but they shouldn't make me feel like I have to do anything. Like I have to contact someone else. I don't want to feel pressured, I felt that way then, I won't now. Do you feel like it's a hard subject to talk about? Why/why not? I do, because ultimately, people don't understand.
@Rainfall1308
Hello there, thank you for expressing your thoughts here today, id like to start by just saying sorry if you have felt pressured in any of your one to one chats, as listeners we are unable to advise which you are probably aware of, our role here is to listen, be compassionate and offer you support, yes, we do have some inexperience listeners here regarding specific topics, but in no way you should feel you have to do anything you don't want to do, and I'm sorry you have been subjected to this.
As a member engaging in a listener chat, the progress and topic is completely up to you, you should be in control of your own chat, it is your safe place to open up and explore your feelings, your place to be heard, and you place to off load what ever you feel comfortable doing so!
You have been through an awful lot, and are having to deal with a tremendous amount of pressure, you are doing the best you can right now, I'd just like to add, by you being here, opening up and talking about your experiences is an incredibly brave step, I am very proud of you for making the decision to take control and talk about your past.
I really do hope you find the listener for you, I believe you can make some real positive progress if you allow yourself to keep searching for the listener you will connect with.
My name is Emma, it would be absolutely okay if you would like to send me a message! Check my profile out. If your comfortable, we can chat, totally up to you !
Take care, and thanks for posting!
I just wanted to say, thank you very much for your response. I attempted to contact you earlier but as you are probably aware, you're only a listener to those who are above 18. I appreciate the offer as well as your understanding, but I feel as if 7cups may not actually be the correct place for me and as a result, I am going to leave the application.
@Rainfall1308
Oh gosh I'm so sorry. I should of checked that before I welcomed you to PM me!
We do have some amazing listeners here, and sometimes it can take a while to gel and connect with the right person for you. As listeners we all have different listening styles, one not quite the same as the next. However if you feel 7 cups is not right for you, than I respect your decision, your are the best judge of your own feelings, but I'll ask you, please don't give up, seek support in another fields, maybe your doctor, a friend, family member or someone else you trust, you have the right to get support and be heard.
I could perhaps help you find a adult teen listener if your interested in that? Anyhow let me know dear, I'll help you as much as I can.
Take care ❤️