Uncomfortable In My Body
I have noticed recently that since I was sexually assulted, I an unable to keep up with basic hygiene. I honestly do not notice when I am dirty or my clothes are dirty, or if my hair is dirty. I never feel clean anyways. I can take a showr for hours and no mattery how much scrubbing I do, I still feel dirty, tainted, gross. I really would just enjoy having my body back. I feel I don't completely own my body anymore. -.- **I am in therapy, and getting help, I promise. I just needed a way to vent**
One thing i find very helpful is setting a time every day to make sure i'm looking after myself. I have to make sure i'm sticking to a routine, especially when i'm not at work, just to make sure i'm remembering to look after myself.
So maybe try getting a routine of when to shower, eat etc, just so you know you're looking after yourself.
I found that the 'feeling dirty' thing faded over time. I can't offer any advice over that because it was one of those things that disappeared over time. I hope it does for you too.
Thank you so much for the advice. =] it's really comforting to know that someome that isn't forced or expected to listen , is.
This is excellent advice. Practicing good self-care is tough, but having it specifically scheduled into your day and setting a routine will help to make it feel natural and to work it back into your habits.
Feeling unclean is normal, but it does not mean you are. You are the same person you were before your assault. You are strong and beautiful and a survivor.
Feel free to reach out if you want to talk. I'm always happy to listen. <3
@~~ RissieMonster
I understand what it feels like to feel unclean despite all the effort you make in keeping yourself clean. Shortly after being raped at the age of 18 and on several occasions when the memories would haunt me, I would get into a hyper sensitive mode where I would feel dirty all the time, despite my best efforts. I felt frustrated and sad. I cried a lot. I think I was trying to wash away the "dirt" of it all.
There were other times as well when I would have little to no energy nor motivation to keep up with my hygiene due to major depression caused by the trauma of being raped.
My heart is with you during this troubling time. Please know that you are not alone. We are here for you as you take this journey. It is not easy. Please let us know how you are doing and feel free to share more about what you are going through. We are here to support you through this.
Sincerely,
FaithfulPerson