Sexually abused so many times...

I’m 24 years old and I just remembered all the times I’ve been sexually abused in my life. My mind did a good job in covering up this trauma because I had no memory of my abuse up until a few weeks ago and when I took 2 caffeine pills it triggered back this haunting images that played in my mind. As a child I was pretty neglected, I would walk home alone from the bus stop to where the apartment we lived was at. It was a 5 min journey and anything can happen to a defenseless 5 year old. Long story short, a gang in the neighborhood lured me into their house and abused me, I told them I was going to tell my mom and dad and they then pointed a gun at my head saying they will kill them. I remember them telling me that I belong to them. They started to sex traffic me and they stopped when an elderly man saved me from them, the elderly man took me home and told me “promise me you will dial 911 when your mom gets home, actually stay here with me we will wait for your mom and then you can get off”. Once my mom came home the man told me “remember my promise”. I was abused so much, this pain is so unbearable. And also at 7 years old when I went to Mexico I was abused there too. And at 18 years old I was held at gunpoint “do this or you die, you choose” and I was proceeded to get raped again...why didn’t I call the cops? Why was I so weak? No more of this weakness. Not again.