Relief from disclosure *tw* childhood SA, panic attacks

Hi everyone, I joined 7Cups just over a year ago because I was not handling increased conversations about my abuser in the house and in the family well. I had really hit a low point where flashbacks were increasing, memories were being unlocked in my brain, my panic attacks had accelerated from once every couple of months to once every 12 days or so. I started medication in order to improve my mood, then changed my living situation to also help, then later started working with a therapist.

I recently disclosed the abuse I endured to my parents - not in detail because the retraumatization for myself isn't worth it, in addition to the hurt that my parents would feel. The worry, the "what ifs", all of that have just melted away. I thought I would never disclose because it would break my mother's heart - and it did but she is going to be okay. I thought I couldn't tell anyone because of the consequences that it would have on our extended family (as my abuser is a relative), but I actually just don't care anymore. I was worried that my parents would feel torn in some way, and that would hurt me the most, but they have both rallied behind me, have chosen to believe me, and are choosing unconditional love and support for me alone. I have been working with a therapist online, doing some depression, anxiety, and problem-solving work, but this disclosure really has helped. There is no more talk about my abuser in my presence, there are no questions on why I don't wish to attend family events, there are some "aha" moments that my parents are reflecting on, but I feel free, in a sense.

I referred my parents to the RAINN website - as they continue to grapple with the grief specifically this page: https://www.rainn.org/articles/help-parents-children-who-have-been-sexually-abused-family-members
I also have found exploring the RAINN website useful for myself: https://www.rainn.org/articles/self-care-after-trauma

I didn't get the chance to refer to the RAINN supports for planning my disclosure, but, hindsight being 20/20, I would have liked the extra/professional support: https://rainn.org/articles/telling-loved-ones-about-sexual-assault

My next steps are checking in with my therapist, but also my parents and seeing if I can convince them to seek counselling or therapy for the process they are going through. I also have noticed that with the anxiety medication, I have been able to trust men a bit easier. So much so that I have a partner now, this is my first serious relationship ever and it is going so well that we are planning for him to meet my parents next month. I have not disclosed to him yet, but I am feeling very safe with him intimately and we have not had any survivor-related disturbances so far.

I just wanted to share this here, I don't know if anyone else has felt this freedom post-disclosure or has similar worries that are ruminating in their heads. I don't really know of other adult survivors of child sexual abuse in my life, (and of course my normal anxiety is warning against sharing my relief with people who do not have lived experience because they just seem so sad when I talk about it, which makes sense), so I don't know if this is normal.