Ok I’m not sure if this is any sort of abuse I just wanted to discuss my sexual issues

Ever since I lost my virginity I was terrified to do so and felt unready all my younger peers had done so before so I felt some pressure to fit in my first and second experience felt a bit off wrong and used or taking some advantage of it just happened even though I didn’t really want to drugs involved no protection.. I’ve always been abit naive and quiet ever since I have felt this uncontrollable feeling towards sex and it really makes me feel bad about myself even when I know it’s not good for me or if I didn’t even want it or like the person atall I would feel compelled to just do it in other to please the other or give them what they want

this is really difficult for me to share I just wonder why I’m like this and if I am alone I just feel weak in this area and wished I could be strong