My Story
I'm 14 years old, and I have been raped six times in my life. Once when I was 13, the rest this past summer.
When I was 13, I went on a family trip to Texas. My parents went to a movie one night, and they asked my older(male) cousin to let me stay at his house for the night. My parents were extremely abusive (I say "were" because I don't live with them anymore) and I am mentally disabled, so I'm sure they didn't care what would happen to me.
My cousin raped me that night, and of course I was too scared to even realize what was going on. I was sick for several days after that, and I never told anyone.
This past summer, my parents invited my cousin to stay at the house for several weeks. I never reported him, I was too afraid to, and over those few weeks he basically used me as a toy. I was raped five times, and other times he would make me do things to him.
I have since reported it and he went to prison, but I still have absolutely no closure. I get awful nightmares, I get nervous around men in general, even if I know they won't hurt me, I'm still so scared.
Im so sorry that you had to go through this. Its not easy overcoming something so harsh. I am glad he is in jail and you are out of your parents home. I know the nightmares are awful, try putting something you love under your pillow and think of happy things before bed. If you wake up from a nightmare and want to try to sleep again try turning your pillow over. I cant promise it will help you, but it helped me. As for trusting any guy again, its something that comes with time. Go out with some girl friends and one guy (WHEN YOU ARE READY) and work your way up from there. Your in my thoughts.
Thank you so much. I'll try what you suggested as far as nightmares, maybe that'll work. And about the going out with some girls and one guy, I actually have a lot of close friends who are guys. It's mostly grown men, guys my age don't really make me as nervous.
Im glad you are working through it and didnt scar you from all men. Im thinking of you (:
Id also like to state that I am VERY proud of you for standing up for yourself and not just keeping it inside!
